Riding The Bus With My Sister

Riding the Bus With My Sister: A True Life Journey is the New York Times bestselling author Rachel Simon’s 2002 memoir chronicling her experiences with her intellectually disabled sister, Beth. Over the course of a year, Simon rides the bus with Beth and writes about the journey. She learns to confront her own ignorance about her sister’s condition and forms a close bond with her. The book chronicles Rachel’s emotional and spiritual growth, as Rachel’s time with Beth helps her see how she keeps herself isolated and uses work to avoid emotional intimacy. Simon and Beth ultimately recover their sisterly bond, and Simon becomes a staunch advocate for the rights of people with intellectual disabilities. The memoir was adapted into a 2005 television movie starring Rosie O’Donnell and Andie MacDowell. This guide refers to an updated edition by Grand Central Publishing.

Plot Summary

Rachel is living in an East Coast apartment, alone, after a very painful break-up. Rachel works 16-hour days, has no social life, and carries tremendous guilt about ignoring her sister, Beth, who is also living alone in Pennsylvania. Beth is in her late thirties and has an intellectual disability. She doesn’t work and spends her days riding city buses. It is hard for Rachel and the rest of their family to understand or support Beth’s decision to spend her time this way. They wish she would get a job. One particularly low evening, Rachel recognizes that she has been neglecting Beth for too long and decides to visit her. Rachel’s editor suggests that she spend a day with Beth on the bus and write an article about it. At the end of this day together, Beth makes a request: that Rachel keep coming back and riding the bus with Beth for one year. Rachel reluctantly agrees.

Rachel stays with Beth in her apartment as much as she can for one year. She accompanies her on her bus routes and finds that Beth is not just sitting alone on buses all day. Instead, Beth has formed a community of friends and mentors. The drivers all know Beth and look forward to her company. Beth proudly introduces Rachel to all of her favorite drivers; they share their wisdom and life stories with her. Rachel includes these stories in the book, giving readers a tapestry of spiritual and personal wisdom.

Rachel gets to know Beth’s boyfriend, Jesse, and the struggles they face as an interracial couple both diagnosed with intellectual disabilities. She develops an awe and respect for their ability to fall in love and stay together in the face of so much adversity and wonders what is stopping her from loving so freely. Rachel also becomes acquainted with Beth’s care team. Rachel is embarrassed by how angry she becomes with Beth’s behaviors while those on her care team seem so patient and even impressed with Beth. By educating herself about Beth’s diagnosis, she learns that she needs to fully understand Beth’s limitations to start treating her with patience and kindness.

The book uses flashbacks to convey the family history that led Beth to live alone and to be emotionally distant from her siblings and parents. Beth, Rachel, and their siblings suffered a depressed mother and absent father, a painful divorce, and frequent moves. Eventually, their mother abandoned them all together. Beth was taken with their mother and stepfather and subjected to dangerous and terrifying circumstances. When all the siblings came together again under their father’s roof, they were never the same. Rachel begins to make the connection between her workaholism and early adolescent depression. Spending time with Beth and writing about her reflections leads Rachel through a therapeutic process in which she often relies on the wisdom of the drivers to help her navigate what comes up. 

Beth wants Rachel to marry a bus driver, so she does her best at playing match maker. Rachel goes on a date with a driver named Rick and is surprised to find herself warming up enough to date another man, crediting Beth with helping her get to this point. Their short-lived romance gives her the confidence to call her ex, Sam, and rekindle their romance. They get back together and eventually marry.

Rachel and Beth endure the pain of mending their broken relationship and end the one-year agreement closer than ever. Simon goes on to focus most of her time and energy on advocacy work for people with intellectual disabilities. The book ends with Simon standing firmly behind Beth and her decisions, ultimately coming to terms with and accepting Beth’s limitations and going on to advocate for her civil rights.