13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

In this chapter, Morin examines how the fear of failure prevents people from achieving their goals. She argues that persistence after initial setbacks is essential for success. The author introduces Susan, a receptionist who abandoned her teaching aspirations after struggling in her first semester of college. Susan’s story illustrates a common pattern: Oftentimes, when people encounter an early failure, they interpret it as evidence of their fundamental inability rather than viewing it as part of the learning process.

Morin identifies several psychological barriers that lead people to abandon their goals after initial failures. These include fear of being perceived as inadequate, linking self-worth to immediate success, and holding fixed mindsets about personal abilities. The author emphasizes that many people develop learned helplessness when they attribute failure to unchangeable personal deficiencies rather than to skills that can be developed through practice.

The chapter draws on research from developmental psychology, particularly Carol Dweck’s work on growth versus fixed mindsets, though Morin doesn’t explicitly reference this framework. The author cites a 1998 study showing that children praised for effort rather than intelligence were more likely to seek learning opportunities after failure, while those praised for intelligence sought to protect their self-image by avoiding challenges. This research aligns with contemporary understanding that resilience and grit are more predictive of long-term success than natural talent or intelligence.