13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

Morin addresses the destructive nature of entitlement through the case study of Lucas, a recent graduate with a Master of Business Administration degree who believed that his company owed him immediate recognition and promotion despite being new to the organization. Lucas’s story illustrates how entitlement manifests in workplace settings—offering unsolicited advice, demanding promotions without earning them, and assuming superiority over experienced colleagues. Through therapy, Lucas learned to recognize how his entitled attitude damaged relationships and hindered his professional growth. The transformation occurred when he shifted focus from demanding recognition to demonstrating value through respectful collaboration and genuine learning.

The author contextualizes entitlement within contemporary cultural trends, drawing on research by psychologist Jean Twenge to explain rising narcissism among younger generations. Morin identifies three contributing factors: educational programs that overemphasize self-esteem without corresponding achievement, overindulgent parenting that shields children from consequences, and social-media platforms that encourage self-promotion. This analysis reflects broader concerns about participation-trophy culture and helicopter parenting that gained prominence in the early 21st century, making the chapter particularly relevant to understanding generational workplace dynamics.

Morin distinguishes between two forms of entitlement: superiority-based entitlement (believing that one deserves more due to exceptional qualities) and injustice-based entitlement (believing that compensation is owed for past hardships). Both manifestations prove equally destructive, preventing individuals from accepting responsibility, developing empathy, and building meaningful relationships. The author contrasts this mindset with the example of Sarah Robinson, a young cancer patient who focused on creating a hospitality house for other patients rather than lamenting her circumstances. Sarah’s story demonstrates how shifting to a giving mentality can create profound meaning even in the face of terminal illness.

The chapter’s practical framework emphasizes developing self-awareness about entitled thinking patterns and consciously adopting team-player behaviors. Morin advocates for focusing on effort over importance, accepting criticism gracefully, and increasing empathy for others. This approach aligns with established psychological principles about intrinsic motivation and emotional intelligence, though the author could have addressed how systemic inequalities might complicate these individual-focused solutions.

Chapter Lessons

• Entitlement stems from both superiority and victimhood mindsets; both forms prevent personal growth and damage relationships.
• Cultural factors fuel modern entitlement: Self-esteem-focused education, overindulgent parenting, and social media create environments where young people may develop unrealistic expectations about what they deserve.
• Shifting from taking to giving can transform one’s perspective. Focusing on what one can contribute rather than what one deserves leads to greater fulfillment and more meaningful relationships.
• Team-player behaviors require conscious practice. Developing humility involves accepting criticism, acknowledging flaws, considering others’ feelings, and focusing on effort rather than perceived importance.

Reflection Questions

• In what areas of your life do you find yourself thinking that you “deserve better than this” or expecting special treatment (222)? How might these thoughts be affecting your relationships and opportunities for growth?
• Consider Sarah Robinson’s example of focusing on helping others despite facing terminal cancer. How could adopting a “giving” mindset rather than a “taking” mindset change your approach to current challenges or disappointments in your life?