13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

Chapter 2 argues that allowing other people to dictate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors relinquishes personal power and undermines mental strength. Morin illustrates this point with the story of Lauren, whose overbearing mother-in-law, Jackie, repeatedly intruded on family time and undermined Lauren’s authority. With the help of a therapist, Lauren discovered that, although she spent only a few hours a week with Jackie, she devoted an equal amount of mental energy to resenting her. Realizing that this resentment gave Jackie control over her mood, sleep, and relationships, Lauren and her husband set firm boundaries—limiting unannounced visits, refusing rude comments, and stopping venting to friends. The change restored her sense of agency and reduced the emotional toll of Jackie’s presence.

The chapter expands the example to broader patterns: People often hand over power by reacting impulsively to criticism, seeking external validation, avoiding uncomfortable emotions, and failing to set limits. When power is ceded, emotions become dependent on external triggers, self-worth hinges on others’ opinions, and life feels like a “roller coaster” of mood swings (39). The author underscores that mental strength involves recognizing these dynamics, reframing the language around them, and consciously choosing one’s responses. Resilient individuals either refuse to grant adversaries emotional leverage or quickly recover after setbacks by refusing to let external judgments define them.