13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

Chapter 3 argues that the obstacle to healthier, more productive lives is rarely a lack of willpower; it is a lack of readiness to change. Morin illustrates this point with the case of Richard, a 44-year-old man newly diagnosed with diabetes who attempted to overhaul his diet and exercise routine all at once. Because he tried to eliminate every junk-food habit and schedule daily gym visits simultaneously, he quickly became overwhelmed, reverted to old patterns, and felt frustrated.

Morin shows that success emerges when change is broken into manageable steps, supported by a concrete plan, and reinforced by social accountability. Richard’s therapist guided him to select a single habit to replace—cookies with carrot sticks—for the first week, enlist his wife’s help in reshaping the household food environment, schedule three specific gym days and keep a reminder list in his car, and make the “bad” snacks less convenient by storing them in the basement. These incremental adjustments produced visible weight loss, which in turn fueled further motivation and additional changes.

The chapter situates this process within the classic “stages of change” model (pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance). Richard moved from merely recognizing a problem (pre-contemplation) to planning concrete steps (preparation) and finally to sustained behavior (maintenance). Morin’s analysis highlights several psychological mechanisms that cause people to avoid change: fear of discomfort, anxiety about unknown outcomes, grief over losing familiar comforts, and the tendency to rationalize inaction.