13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

Morin argues that mentally strong individuals distinguish between reckless gambling and calculated risk-taking. She shares the story of Dale, a burned-out shop teacher who transformed his life by starting a part-time furniture business. Dale had spent years avoiding entrepreneurial ventures due to a previous financial loss in real estate, but through therapy, he learned to evaluate risks systematically rather than allowing fear to dictate his decisions. His calculated approach—starting the business part-time while maintaining his teaching income—not only reduced his financial exposure but also reignited his passion for teaching.

The author contends that risk aversion stems primarily from emotional rather than logical thinking. People often conflate their fear level with actual risk level, leading to poor decision-making. Individuals can mitigate specific fears through strategic preparation rather than complete avoidance.

Morin’s framework reflects contemporary cognitive-behavioral therapy principles, particularly the work of Albert Ellis, whom she cites extensively. Ellis’s systematic desensitization approach—forcing himself to start conversations with 130 women in order to overcome social anxiety—exemplifies the therapeutic method of gradual exposure to feared situations. This connection to established psychological practice lends credibility to Morin’s recommendations, though her approach sometimes oversimplifies complex psychological barriers to risk-taking.

Morin’s analysis of how people miscalculate risks—from overestimating the risk of a plane crash versus a car crash to believing in superstitions—speaks to widespread cognitive biases that behavioral economists like Daniel Kahneman (in Thinking, Fast and Slow) have extensively documented. However, the author’s examples primarily focus on middle-class scenarios involving career changes and business ventures, potentially limiting applicability for individuals facing more fundamental survival concerns.

Morin provides a systematic framework for risk evaluation that includes assessing potential costs and benefits, considering alternatives, and developing contingency plans for worst-case scenarios. She emphasizes that risk tolerance varies among individuals and situations, advocating for personalized approaches rather than universal formulas.

Chapter Lessons

• Distinguish between fear and actual risk level. Emotional reactions to potential risks often exceed their actual probability and impact, leading to missed opportunities for growth and achievement.
• Use systematic risk evaluation: Calculate potential costs, benefits, alternatives, and worst-case scenarios before making decisions, rather than relying solely on gut feelings or past negative experiences.
• Start with manageable calculated risks. Build confidence and skills through smaller ventures before attempting major life changes, as demonstrated by Dale’s part-time business approach.
• Address specific anxieties through strategic preparation, which can reduce emotional barriers to taking beneficial risks while maintaining realistic safety measures.

Reflection Questions

• Can you identify a current opportunity in your life where fear of potential negative outcomes might be preventing you from pursuing something that could significantly benefit your personal or professional growth?
• Think about a past decision where you either took a risk or avoided one—how did your emotional state at the time influence your choice, and would a more systematic evaluation have led to a different outcome?