13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

In this concluding chapter, Morin emphasizes that developing mental strength is an ongoing process requiring consistent effort and self-coaching rather than a one-time achievement. The author presents mental strength as analogous to physical fitness—without regular maintenance, one’s mental muscles will atrophy.

Morin outlines a systematic approach to maintaining mental strength through three core practices: monitoring behavior, regulating emotions, and examining thoughts. Individuals must actively observe when their behaviors sabotage their progress, recognize counterproductive emotional patterns like self-pity or resentment, and evaluate whether their thoughts are realistic or distorted. This cognitive-behavioral framework aligns with evidence-based therapeutic approaches that emphasize the interconnection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—a perspective that has dominated mental-health treatment since the 1960s.

The author acknowledges that building mental strength cannot occur in isolation, advocating for supportive relationships and professional help when needed. This recognition of social support as essential to personal development represents a more nuanced view than earlier self-help literature that often emphasized pure self-reliance. Morin suggests that mentally strong individuals should serve as role models rather than trying to force others to change, reflecting a mature understanding of how behavioral change actually occurs through influence rather than coercion.

The chapter concludes with the story of Lawrence Lemieux, a Canadian Olympic sailor who sacrificed his medal chances to rescue drowning competitors during the 1988 Seoul Olympics. This example illustrates Morin’s central thesis that mental strength involves living according to one’s values rather than achieving external markers of success. The story serves as a counterpoint to achievement-oriented culture, suggesting that true mental strength often requires choosing moral integrity over personal gain.

Chapter Lessons

• Mental strength requires ongoing maintenance through consistent self-coaching, including monitoring behavior, regulating emotions, and examining thought patterns.
• Physical self-care forms the foundation for mental strength—adequate sleep and health are prerequisites for emotional regulation and clear thinking.
• Rather than attempting to change in complete isolation, individuals can benefit from supportive relationships and professional guidance when needed.
• True mental strength involves living according to one’s personal values rather than pursuing external achievements or validation from others.

Reflection Questions

• In which of the three areas Morin discusses—monitoring behavior, regulating emotions, or examining thoughts—do you find yourself struggling the most, and what specific strategies could help you improve in that area?
• Think of a time when you had to choose between personal success and doing what felt morally right. How did mental strength (or lack thereof) influence your decision, and what would you do differently now?