45 pages • 1-hour read
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success
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Discussion Questions
General Impressions
Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.
1. How does Morin’s background as both a grieving person and a licensed therapist influence the credibility and tone of her advice? Does this dual perspective make the book more or less compelling than purely academic or purely experiential approaches?
2. Compare this book’s “don’t do” framework to other self-help books that focus on positive habits to adopt. Which approach feels more actionable to you, and why might eliminating behaviors be easier or harder than adding new ones?
3. What surprised you most about Morin’s definition of mental strength? How does her emphasis on accepting what you cannot control challenge common cultural narratives about willpower and individual achievement?
Personal Reflection and Connection
Encourage readers to reflect on how the book relates to their own life or work and how its lessons could help them.
1. Of the 13 behaviors Morin identifies, which one did you recognize most strongly in yourself? What emotions came up when reading that chapter—defensiveness, relief, motivation, or something else?
2. Morin argues that mentally strong people distinguish between feeling emotions and being controlled by them. Reflect on a recent situation when your emotions drove your behavior in ways that you later regretted. How might her framework have changed your response?
3. The author emphasizes that mental strength requires ongoing maintenance rather than being a fixed achievement. In what areas of your life have you previously expected permanent change from temporary effort? How does this shift in perspective feel?
4. Consider Morin’s assertion that grieving past losses is necessary for mental strength. What losses—whether relationships, opportunities, or previous versions of yourself—might you still be avoiding processing fully?
Real-World Relevance
Prompt readers to explore how the book fits into today’s professional or social landscape.
1. Morin frequently addresses how social media and instant-gratification culture undermine mental strength. Do you think her advice adequately addresses the unique psychological challenges of digital connectivity?
2. The book emphasizes individual agency and personal responsibility for emotional regulation. How might this message resonate differently for people facing systemic barriers, discrimination, or trauma? Where do you see the limits of individual approaches to mental strength?
Practical Applications
Encourage readers to share and consider how the book’s lessons could be applied to their personal/professional lives.
1. Choose one of Morin’s “don’t do” behaviors that you want to address in your own life. What specific replacement behavior will you practice, and what accountability measures will help you maintain this change over time?
2. Morin suggests that mentally strong people build tolerance for discomfort rather than avoiding it. Identify one area where you consistently choose comfort over growth, and design a gradual exposure plan to build your resilience in that specific domain.
3. Based on the author’s framework for distinguishing between what you can and cannot control, create two lists for a current challenge in your life. What concrete actions will you take regarding the controllable factors, and how will you practice accepting the uncontrollable ones?
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