13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin, published in 2014, is a self-help guide that emerged from the author’s personal experiences with grief and her background as a psychotherapist. Morin defines mental strength as the capacity to regulate thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to act in alignment with one’s personal values despite adverse circumstances. She offers readers a framework built on cognitive-behavioral therapy principles rather than simple positive thinking. The book targets individuals seeking practical strategies to build resilience and break self-defeating patterns that prevent personal growth.

Key Takeaways:

• Replace Self-Pity With Purposeful Action
• Set Clear Boundaries to Reclaim Personal Power
• Focus on What You Can Control
• Take Calculated Risks to Build Resilience
• Learn From Mistakes Instead of Repeating Them
• Develop Comfort With Solitude

This guide refers to the 2014 e-book edition published by William Morrow.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of illness, death, and mental illness.

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Summary

Morin structures her approach around 13 specific behaviors that undermine mental strength, each illustrated through detailed case studies drawn from her therapeutic practice. Rather than advocating for relentless optimism or emotional suppression, she presents mental strength as a balanced integration of realistic thinking, purposeful behavior, and regulated emotion. The book traces a logical progression from internal mental habits—like avoiding self-pity and refusing to dwell on the past—to interpersonal dynamics such as setting boundaries and resisting people-pleasing behaviors.

The practical teachings center on developing self-awareness and implementing systematic changes to thought patterns and behavioral responses. Morin emphasizes that mental strength requires ongoing maintenance, similar to physical fitness, and cannot be achieved through willpower alone. Her strategies include creating specific replacement behaviors for destructive habits, learning to tolerate discomfort, and distinguishing between what can and cannot be controlled in any given situation.

Throughout the text, Morin addresses contemporary challenges including social-media comparison, instant-gratification culture, and the pressure to maintain constant connectivity. She describes essential practices for building mental resilience, such as learning from failures instead of repeating mistakes and developing comfort with solitude. The book concludes by framing mental strength not as the pursuit of external achievements but as the capacity to live according to one’s values regardless of circumstances.