A Different Kind of Power: A Memoir

Ardern commuted to university from home and became close friends with a classmate named Alex, against whom she had competed in debates. Alex asked small questions about Ardern’s faith to better understand her, but her mother (a lesbian) made pointed remarks about the Mormon Church’s antigay views. Ardern had her own doubts about the church but chose to compartmentalize and ignore her conflicted feelings. Although she engaged fully with the large Mormon community at her university, actively participating in church activities and groups, she still felt adrift, so she signed up to spend a semester abroad in the US, in Arizona.

She spent the weeks before her departure interning in Harry’s office in the Beehive government building. Staying with her sister, Louise, in Wellington, Ardern ran errands, wrote newsletters, and responded to correspondence while diligently studying the rules of Parliament. She also filled in as the receptionist for the Minister of Justice and Foreign Affairs, Phil Goff. She did her best to help every caller on his busy line, but was dismayed to learn that callers of one type (conspiracy theorists) were beyond her power to help. The work was exhausting and demanding, but Ardern enjoyed it.

Ardern stayed with friends in Arizona, but despite her involvement in the church community, she felt lonely due to the disconnect between her personal beliefs and the values of her faith. She was only a few weeks into her stay when the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks occurred in New York, and she watched live as the World Trade Center was destroyed. She observed that initial reactions of shock and horror were soon replaced with a nationwide surge of defiance and patriotism, and that anti-Arab racism went largely uncontested. She couldn’t understand why no one was interested in figuring out why the attack happened to prevent future tragedies. As an outsider to the collective grief and anger of the American people, she decided that her purpose in Arizona was to simply observe.

Back in New Zealand, upon graduating, Ardern took an entry-level job in Phil’s office and was then promoted to work as a political advisor for Harry. After two years of working for the government, she accepted an offer to work as a junior advisor for Helen Clarke. Grant Robertson, an important political advisor to the prime minister, had noticed Ardern while working on a bill legalizing civil unions for gay and lesbian couples and recommended her for the role. Unable to reconcile her personal beliefs with the doctrines of the Mormon faith, Ardern left the church. She worked closely with Grant under the formidable Chief of Staff Heather Simpson.

Ardern made occasional gaffes and was emotionally affected by stress and conflict, which convinced her that she was unsuited to a political career. The 2005 campaign was stressful, and Ardern badly strained her muscles through overuse by typing, but the Labour Party ultimately won the election. Feeling as though she was too “thin-skinned” to continue working in politics, but with no life outside of work, Ardern quit her job and moved to New York.

Two years later, Ardern lived in London, UK, having moved there after only a handful of months volunteering in New York. She worked as a policy adviser for the Cabinet Office and traveled frequently in her role as the President of the International Union of Socialist Youth. She received a phone call one day from Phil, who was now the leader of the Labour Party, asking her to run as a candidate in the 2008 election later that year. She refused but began an enrollment campaign for overseas voters in the UK.

Grant then called and persuaded her that running as a candidate would promote her enrollment campaign. She didn’t plan to represent a district and would instead be ranked on the party list of representatives. Only if the Labour Party won a higher proportion of the popular vote than its electorate seats represented would MPs from the list (in order of their ranking) get seats in Parliament.

At a Party List Conference in Wellington, Grant refused to be ranked higher than Ardern, an extraordinarily selfless act that helped her secure 20th place on the national list, all but guaranteeing her a seat in Parliament. She agreed to represent the Labour Party in her staunchly conservative hometown, Morrinsville, since no other candidate was willing to run a campaign that they were certain to lose. Ardern was defeated despite her best efforts, but became a list MP regardless. Grant won his own electorate, but the Labour Party lost overall to the National Party.

During her first term as an MP, Ardern was intimidated by the aggressive and confrontational culture of the debating chamber. She considered herself too thin-skinned for politics, but a veteran colleague advised her to embrace her empathy rather than try to toughen up. Enacting change is difficult for an opposition party, but Ardern helped people in small ways. She went out of her way to engage with the media despite attracting harsh and often sexist criticism. She did countless interviews, appeared in a magazine article on body image, and was featured on a weekly debate segment for the morning show Breakfast with National Party backbencher Simon Bridges.

In the 2011 election, Ardern ran for the highly contested Auckland seat but lost. The Labour Party also lost the election, and in her second term as an opposition list MP, Ardern became the party spokesperson for social development. In 2013, Ardern’s sister, Louise, gave birth to her first child. Ardern loved her niece the moment she saw her, but felt a tinge of melancholy that she did not yet have a husband and family herself. While Ardern was visiting Louise in London, Clarke Gayford (the man who eventually became her life partner) contacted her. They had met in passing at a gala the previous year, and as a radio presenter and local celebrity, Clarke wanted to lend his support to Ardern’s 2014 campaign.

Clarke was dissatisfied with the National government and passionate about oceans and the environment, so he hosted Ardern on his radio show to promote the black petrel in the annual New Zealand Bird of the Year competition. They became close friends over the following months, met often, and gradually transitioned into a romantic relationship. Phil stepped down after losing the 2011 election, and David Shearer won the leadership contest to replace him. Shearer soon resigned after losing the confidence of the Labour Party MPs, and a second leadership contest ensued.

With Ardern’s support, Grant competed, but David Cunliffe ultimately defeated him. Cunliffe fired many senior advisors and ignored pressure to promote Ardern because he felt that appointing a woman as his third in command would be “tokenistic.” Ardern instead became the spokesperson for police and corrections; arts, culture, and heritage; and children. She was convinced that tackling child poverty was crucial to nationwide improvements and just needed a Labour government to implement her proposed policies. However, the Labour Party received only 25% of the votes in the 2014 election, the party’s worst result since 1922. Ardern lost her bid for the Auckland electorate, but she returned to Parliament in her third term as a list MP for the opposition.

Cunliffe resisted pressure to resign as Labour Leader after the 2014 election but was eventually ousted. In the ensuing leadership race, Grant ran with Ardern as his deputy. During this time, Ardern was hospitalized with a peritonsillar abscess (quinsy) and ran into her childhood friend Walter from Murupara, now a fabulous drag queen. Ardern continued to face relentless sexism and criticism in the media, and Grant faced heavy scrutiny and backlash for being gay. He ultimately lost the leadership contest by 1%. Despite her disappointment, Ardern respected the new Labour Leader, Andrew Little, and was promoted to the front bench. She took over the justice portfolio as well as arts, small businesses, and children. She continued to develop policies for child welfare, knowing that she could make a massive difference under a Labour government.