A Different Kind of Power: A Memoir

Ardern’s family members, particularly her parents, grandparents, sister, and aunt, feature significantly throughout her memoir, especially in the early chapters covering her childhood and youth. Ardern had strong positive relationships with various members of her family growing up, and these bonds shaped many of her views and values at a formative age.

Ardern’s parents, Ross and Laurell Ardern, raised their daughters in the Mormon Church, in which Ross himself was raised and into which Laurell converted. Despite leaving the church herself, Ardern celebrates the positive impact of the church on her loved ones and community. Ardern’s mother is actively involved in the church’s volunteering efforts, and both parents show a firm commitment to work and family as promoted by the church. Ardern’s father is committed to his job as a police officer, determined to help the people he serves and govern by consent. In this way, he was Ardern’s first role model, embodying the theme of Vulnerability and Compassion as Leadership Qualities.

Ardern’s mother, too, was selfless and dedicated, stalwart in supporting her family even as she suffered from the strain of the move to Murupara. Both parents taught Ardern the value of hard work, and are key to her presentation of the theme of Duty and Moral Responsibility in Private Life and Public Office. Ardern’s parents supported her to the best of their abilities through her education and career, even when her trajectory diverted from their expectations. Once Ardern became a mother, she relied on her mother’s support. Neither parent complained when they experienced hardship, be it overworking, managing the family orchard, or being hospitalized after a seizure.

Ardern’s sister Louise is close to her in age and has a shyer disposition than Ardern. Consequently, Ardern acts as something of a protector to her in their early childhood. As they grew up, they remained close, and Ardern’s emotional reaction to meeting Louise’s first child is one of the most touching and personal scenes in the book: “Isabella’s tiny pixie ears […] looked just like my sister’s. Unlike Louise’s, her eyes were dark, as was the hair that covered her delicate head. I felt instantly connected to this little human” (147). The memoir does not present Louise’s character and life choices in any great depth, given the book’s preoccupation with Ardern and her career, but the close, supportive relationship between the sisters is a significant aspect of the early chapters. Another important relationship in the book is between Ardern and her Aunt Marie. Marie introduced Ardern to the world of politics, and was a clear role model to Ardern in her youth. She showed compassion and bravery in her choice to campaign in areas where the Labour Party MP could do the most good, and inspired Ardern’s lifelong dedication to compassionate leadership.

Representing the older generation of New Zealanders, Ardern’s grandparents feature heavily in the book’s early chapters. The two sets of grandparents were quite different in character and beliefs: The maternal grandparents, Eric and Margaret, were staunch conservatives, while the paternal pair, Gwladys and Harry, supported the Labour Party. Eric was stern and hardworking, while his wife was more personable, and Gwladys was loud and boisterous, while her husband was more retiring. However, both sets of grandparents clearly cared deeply about their family. Despite disagreeing with Ardern’s politics, Margaret’s final words to Ardern spoke of pride and support, and Gwladys’ gift to Ardern of her mother’s violin was deeply meaningful. Ardern developed a more nuanced perspective on her grandparents’ relationships and outlooks as she grew, particularly concerning the circumstances of her father’s birth, but both couples clearly inspired unshakeable loyalty and love in their progeny.

Clarke Gayford is Ardern’s long-term partner, whom she married in 2024 after the memoir’s conclusion. She met him at a gala, and they developed a friendship after Clarke reached out to support Ardern’s campaign. A local radio celebrity, he’s passionate about fishing, the ocean, and the environment. He has a successful career of his own but also supports Ardern in her role as prime minister, becoming a stay-at-home father to their daughter, Neve. Ardern presents their relationship as close to idyllic. Clarke admitted early in their relationship that he was attracted to women who are good at what they do and dedicated to their passions, and Ardern emphasizes his consistent and tireless support as she pursued her goals.

Their daughter, Neve, is a major focus in Ardern’s life and her memoir, even before her birth. Her personality only really develops in later chapters as she grows up. Neve is bright and inquisitive, happy to spend time with Ardern, but she was equally accepting of her mother’s frequent absences. Because Ardern often felt guilty for dividing her focus between Neve and her work obligations, Neve is a focal point for the theme of Duty and Moral Responsibility in Private Life and Public Office: “Our children are the most important thing to us, our greatest priority. But the simplest measure of that love and care was time. I had done everything to demonstrate my love by every other measure” (312).