A Million Little Pieces

James feels “the Fury” rising as he prepares to meet with his parents and tells Joanne he has always harbored inexplicable anger toward his mother and father. Furthermore, they do not know the extent of his addiction or that he has been in trouble with the law. He expects them to react badly when they discover the truth.

James does not return his parents’ affectionate hugs when they meet. When Lynne asks James not to smoke, he responds that he can “either smoke cigarettes or smoke crack” (305). The family therapy begins with James describing his addictions. He recounts sneaking out of the house aged 10 and going to a party where high school kids gave him alcohol. At 12, he tried cannabis, and by the age of 15, he was selling drugs, using cocaine, and crystal meth. At 21, he started smoking crack and hit a police officer on the sidewalk when he lost control of his car. Consequently, he was charged with several offenses, including assaulting a police officer. When a friend paid his bail, he fled to Paris. After returning to the United States, he was arrested in North Carolina and Michigan, skipping bail on both occasions. As his parents cry, James assures them that his behavior is not their fault.

After the session, Joanne warns James not to meet up with Lilly, who has been overheard talking about her feelings for him. She states that they are both “vulnerable” and should focus on their sobriety. James realizes that he loves Lilly.

James feels “the Fury” rising and pulls off one of his toenails, knowing the pain will make the sensation subside. Miles confides that his alcohol addiction destroyed his marriage to his first wife. His second wife warned him that she would not tolerate alcoholism. However, he relapsed, and she told him to leave. Miles says that he can see that James is progressing and asks if he has any helpful tips. James suggests that Miles should speak to Leonard and read the Tao.

During the night, James climbs out of the window to meet Lilly. They kiss, but James tells her he is scared of having sex, revealing how his alcoholism led to impotence with his former girlfriend. James knew their relationship was over when he finally told his girlfriend he loved her, and she looked at him with revulsion. Lily explains that she first began to use drugs to tolerate being sold for sex by her mother. When she was 18, she fled to her grandmother in Chicago and returned to school. However, she fell in love with a boy who smoked crack, and she resumed her drug use. Eventually, her boyfriend allowed his friends to have sex with her. Lilly sobs after telling her story, and James holds her.

James wakes, realizing he has fallen asleep with Lilly in the clearing, and it is almost morning. They sneak back to the clinic undetected.

In their therapy session, James and his parents are joined by the clinic’s lawyer, Randall, who has been negotiating with law enforcement authorities over James’s outstanding charges. Randall reveals that with regard to his offenses in Michigan and North Carolina, James can pay fines instead of a jail sentence. However, the authorities in Ohio were less lenient due to the seriousness of his crimes. If James pleads guilty to all charges, he will serve a three-year sentence in a State Prison. If his case goes to court, and he is found guilty, he will be sentenced to eight and a half years. James is horrified at the prospect of being sent to a State Prison. He tells Randall that he is prepared to plead guilty, but does not want to be placed in a maximum-security block. When his mother starts crying, James touches her shoulder. He and his parents share a mutual hug for the first time. James tells his parents about Lilly, revealing her history and that he loves her. He shares his intention to live with Lilly in Chicago once they are both sober.

James attends a lecture where the speaker claims addiction is a “disease” that strips individuals of choice; therefore, willpower alone cannot stop people with an addiction from using. The speaker also stresses the importance of avoiding environments where alcohol and drugs are present while in recovery. James disagrees, believing that people with an addiction always have an element of choice.

In family therapy, James describes how he feels the Fury whenever he interacts with his parents. He also believes that his parents have always tried to control him. Lynne admits that she was always protective of James as she feared he would inherit his grandfather’s alcoholism. Furthermore, she felt profound guilt when she learned that James was born with a painful ear condition that went undiagnosed until he was two years old. Joanne suggests that this formative experience explains James’s lifelong rage and resentment toward his parents. Subconsciously, he remembers that they failed to help him when he was helpless and in pain. She also agrees that James may have inherited a “predisposition toward addiction” (358). James acknowledges that these factors could have contributed to his addiction, but refuses to accept that they are the root cause. He asserts that to recover, he must take responsibility for his actions. When he shares a hug with his parents, he feels the Fury subside.

Lilly wakes James in the night, appearing at his window. When he climbs outside, she furiously tries to hit him. Lilly finally reveals that she thought they had an agreement to meet earlier in the day. When James failed to show up, she believed he had been influenced by something someone had said about her. Lilly acknowledges she has abandonment issues due to her troubled past. She tells James that, when he failed to meet her, she considered going to the bus station in Minneapolis and returning to Chicago. James assures Lilly that if she had done so, he would have followed her. They walk the trail holding hands and declare their love for each other.

The next day, James recognizes a friend of Bobby’s as the man who dragged him across the TV lounge floor. The man tells James that he knows Lilly, as her former boyfriend, Buddy, used to get her high and invite all his friends to have sex with her. On one occasion, Buddy paid off a dealer by giving Lilly to him. Lilly was gang-raped at the dealer’s house and then thrown outside wearing a trash bag. James experiences the Fury when Bobby’s friend advises him that Lilly likely has sexually transmitted diseases. However, he remains outwardly calm, giving the man a verbal warning. When the man responds with further insults, James chokes him, but stops short of killing him.

In their final family session, James’s parents say that they feel closer to their son as a result of the family therapy. James responds that he is glad they came.

Lilly calls James, revealing that her grandmother is terminally ill. He agrees to meet her in the clearing, defying Lincoln, who reminds him that a group therapy session is about to start. Lilly reveals she is terrified of being alone when her grandmother dies. James assures Lilly that he will join her in Chicago, but must serve a prison sentence first. They are interrupted by the arrival of Lincoln and Ken, who order them to return to the clinic.

Lincoln calls James to his office, stating that, due to Joanne’s intervention, he can remain on the program. He also reveals that Lilly left the clinic when she was told that she must cease all contact with James. James says that he can retrieve Lilly as he knows where she is going. When Lincoln refuses to help, James swears at him and storms out. He leaves the clinic, planning to hitch a ride to the Minneapolis bus station. Hank and Lincoln pull up in the van, offering to help find Lilly.

At the bus station, a drug dealer tells James that he saw Lilly with an elderly man who bought drugs. Hank drives to an abandoned house frequented by drug users. Inside, James encounters several people using crack cocaine as he searches for Lilly. He eventually finds her, high and performing a sex act on an elderly man. Lilly clutches her drugs and resists James’s attempts to rescue her. Finally, she goes limp, and James carries her to the van.