A Trick of the Light

“Not missing her right away. Not noticing his wife was kneeling on the floor. ‘I know,’ whispered Olivier. ‘But I also know you. Whether it’s on your knees or on your feet, you’re going through that door.’ He nodded toward the end of the hall, his eyes never leaving hers. ‘It might as well be on your feet.’”

The repetition of “not” here focuses on the ways Peter is absent, while the verbs emphasize Clara’s struggles. Olivier’s gentle comfort is the kind of intimacy one might expect a spouse to provide, further indicating that the Morrow marriage is not a source of refuge, but is instead in thrall to The Destructive Power of Jealousy. Peter’s failure to focus on Clara mirrors their troubled relationship.

“He cried. And Annie saw. And Annie never mentioned it from that day to this. To Henri’s bafflement, Jean-Guy stopped rubbing the dog’s ears and placed one hand on the other, in a gesture that had become habitual now. That was how it had felt. Annie’s hand on his.”

Beauvoir’s first recollections here are short and choppy, as if he can barely manage to recall the raw moment. Instead of words, Beauvoir uses his hands, one over the other, to display the depth of his longing. Beauvoir’s memories of the shooting and his love for Annie are key elements of the theme of The Challenges of Grief and Trauma. Beauvoir struggles to articulate the negative emotions around his suffering, or the positive power of his growing love for Annie, because of his unprocessed trauma.

“Jean-Guy had to give Olivier that. Instead of appearing to accept the apology, Olivier had finally told the truth. The hurt went too deep. He wasn’t ready to forgive. ‘And now?’ asked Annie. ‘I guess we’ll see.’”

Beauvoir’s sharp observations help establish that he is keenly analytical, even amid personal crisis. He admires Olivier’s choice to name his pain rather than deny it—as though he recognizes what he cannot yet do. Annie’s choice to ask a question evokes her father’s habit of doing the same.