61 pages • 2-hour read
Abuela, Don't Forget Me
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Symbols & Motifs
Spanish Language
Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses physical abuse, child abuse, anti-LGBTQ+ bias, drug use, and racism.
The Spanish language is a central motif throughout Ogle’s memoir, acting as an important connection to his abuela, who was born and raised in Mexico. The memoir is a bilingual text, which Ogle chooses to emphasize by not italicizing Spanish text. This stylistic choice serves to meld the two languages, English and Spanish, together, emphasizing their connectedness and equal importance to Ogle.
Abuela primarily uses Spanish when speaking with Ogle, interspersing Spanish words and phrases throughout their conversations. Ogle latches on to his Abuela’s first tongue, wanting to speak it as well to better understand the woman whom he loves so dearly: “‘Te amo siempre. What’s it mean again?’ ‘I love you. And I will love you forever’” (4). Ogle stumbles over the pronunciation of te amo siempre, and Abuela practices with him, patiently helping him to enunciate the foreign language. Ogle wants to understand the phrase’s meaning, viewing it as an important way to better understand his abuela.
Despite Ogle’s desire to learn Spanish, he encounters challenges. Ogle’s mother views Spanish as inherently connected to Abuela and their Mexican heritage, which she resents and seeks to distance herself from as an American: “What’s my language?’ ‘You speak English,’ Mom interrupts” (8). Mom implies that there is only room for English in his vocabulary, wanting to distance her son from Abuela’s influence.
As Ogle enters adolescence, he encounters further resistance from his peers, internalizing their racism and pushing him away from Spanish and Abuela: “I blame her, though I don’t know why. / The rest of her visit, I stay mad. / I call her Grandma instead of Abuela because / all I can hear is the way she says jes instead of yes, / as if reminding me, being different is wrong” (75). As Ogle struggles with his biracial identity, seeking more than anything to blend in with his peers, Spanish becomes a signifier of that which separates him from belonging to the majority. Abuela becomes wrapped up in that same resistance to being “different.”
Ogle’s resistance to Spanish does not last forever, as he enters high school and Abuela’s influence once more becomes the grounding force in his life. He once more seeks to become close to Abuela, trying to find ways to connect with her: “I want to take Spanish, so I can speak with Abuela in her first language” (114). Ogle’s mother forbids him from studying Spanish, but Ogle does anyway, viewing his ability to speak with Abuela in Spanish as a way to honor her and connect with her on a deeper level.
The last poem in the text is “te amo siempre”—a nod to one of the first phrases that Abuela taught Ogle back in his childhood. In the poem, Ogle once more speaks from the present, in which Abuela is losing her memory. He writes that he and Abuela speak often and that they end each phone call the same way: “[S]he says, / ‘Te amo.’ / And I say, ‘Te amo siempre.’ / And she says, ‘I love you more’” (198). This is a significant quote: Ogle and Abuela speak to each other in one another’s first language, he in Spanish and her in English. This reversal indicates their deep love and connection to one another, the blending of languages, and desire to speak to one another in each other’s first tongue—a sign of the love and respect they have for each other.
1214 South Jackson Drive
1214 South Jackson Drive is the address of Abuela’s house for the duration of Ogle’s childhood and adolescence. Within the text, 1214 South Jackson Drive is far more than an address: It is Ogle’s home, the only home that he has ever known, becoming a symbol of safety and The Transformative Power of Unconditional Love.
It is at Abuela’s house that Ogle experiences the kind of unconditional love and contentment that is absent from every other place where he lives. The memoir opens and closes with two poems illustrating a similar scene: In “hamper,” while exploring Abuela’s house, Ogle discovers a small closet containing the laundry hamper. At the beginning of the memoir, at age four, Ogle is small enough to climb inside, doing so one afternoon to escape his mother’s “shouting, ranting, screaming (again)” (2). He climbs inside the small space, “waiting for someone to remember (and / seek) / me” (2). It is Abuela, of course, who comes wanting to find him and reunite. This scene establishes the strong connection between Abuela and Ogle, introducing the truth that Abuela will be the one, throughout Ogle’s life, to always come looking for him.
In the penultimate poem, “finding me,” Ogle is once more back at 1214 South Jackson Drive after a summer struggling to survive on the streets of New Orleans after his father kicks him out for being bisexual. The scene mirrors the scene in “hamper.” While Abuela is out at work, Ogle is left to himself: “I walk around her house / 1214 South Jackson Drive: / Red bricks, white trim, white wood beams, / a white tin roof” (195). The house is unchanged, a metaphor for Abuela’s stability and unwavering source of support. Despite all that he has experienced and overcome, some things, like Abuela’s house, remain immutable.
His explorations lead him to again find the small door containing the hamper. Although he is now 18, the same impulse to climb into the hamper overtakes him: “[O]pening the bottom door, I climb inside / squeezing and cramming my adult body / into the darkness / hiding / waiting for someone to remember (and / seek) me” (196). These lines almost exactly mirror those from the earlier poem, including the line breaks between “and” and “seek” and “me,” as well as the italicization of the word “me.” The repetition evokes the same sense of concern that Ogle will stay there, forgotten, waiting an untold length of time for someone to not only remember his existence, but want to seek him out.
The difference in this poem, however, is that Ogle knows beyond a doubt that Abuela would find him, lifting the lid as she did once before and greeting him warmly: “The thought makes me laugh out loud / until I am crying / not out of upset / or anger / or fear / but out of joy / because I am / finally / HOME” (196). Ogle has learned that Abuela will always seek him out, and will always find him, no matter where he is.
Pecans
Picking pecans from the tree in Abuela’s backyard is one of the core memories that Ogle has from his childhood. Pecans function as a symbol of Abuela’s love and care for Ogle. As Abuela reflects on the pecan tree in her yard, Ogle gains more insight into Abuela’s past and how it informs her present: “In Mexico, we had little food for my brothers and sisters, My Mamá y Papá. / Now, I have food that grows in my very own yard. / I am grateful… / For my trees. For my job. For this country. / For you” (18). This quote illustrates the scarcity and poverty Abuela grew up in. For Abuela, the pecan tree is a symbol of the abundance in her life now, not only with stable access to food but for the other abundances she has now in her work and her love for Ogle.
Gathering the pecans is an activity that Abuela shares with Ogle, storing them for two weeks to help them dry out. When they are ready, Abuela does the painstaking task of removing the nuts from their shells, taking care to pack the nuts in plastic bags. Ogle finds that “She will have so many nuts / she will have to give them away” (19). Her willingness to share her abundance with others illuminates Abuela’s character: She takes only what she needs, willingly and gladly sharing her bounty with others. Most importantly, she shares them with Ogle, sending the pecans to him in the mail: “I will have left Abilene by then, returned home to my mother. But a cardboard box will arrive in the mail addressed only to me. Inside, I will find clear bags packed full […] with freshly shelled pecans” (19). The nuts are a way for Abuela to connect with Ogle from afar, feeding him even when they cannot be together.
Food insecurity is a consistent part of Ogle’s childhood. Due to his mother and stepfather’s inability or unwillingness to hold down stable employment, Ogle often goes without food: “[M]y stomach sings a low song of / rumbles and grumbles” (91). Ogle’s hunger is persistent and hinders his ability to focus on school, negatively impacting his physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The arrival of Abuela’s pecans, packed in a box addressed only to Ogle, acts as a lifeline to Ogle: “Pecans from her trees, / plucked with love / and sent to me / to feed both my stomach / and my heart” (92). As Ogle suffers the neglect of his primary caregivers, Abuela’s pecans satisfy both his physical hunger and his emotional need to be thought of and cared for.
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