After I Do

Lauren’s memento box is symbolic of love. This “box of memories” contains things like the ticket stub from Lauren and Ryan’s train ride to San Diego, “the photo of [the couple] at the Crab Shack,” “Thumper’s first collar,” and “the dried flower petals from [Lauren’s] wedding bouquet” (161). During her separation from Ryan, Lauren adds Ryan’s goodbye letter, Ryan’s printed email drafts, and her wedding ring to the box. These mementos are physical markers of Lauren and Ryan’s evolving love. Each artifact symbolizes a different phase or turning point in their relationship. The box thus acts as a physical manifestation of their complex and shifting connection to one other.

Lauren’s and Ryan’s email drafts to one another are symbolic of the deeper, more meaningful communication that their marriage has lacked, taking on a distinct tone of confession. In the drafts, Lauren and Ryan address one another in an unbridled manner, opening up about their frustrations, longings, and needs in an entirely new way. When Lauren first discovers Ryan’s drafts, she sees them as “the evidence of how ugly [their] marriage has become and yet proof that [they] are tied to each other” (149). Ultimately, the email drafts capture the simultaneous “hate and love” (149) that the two have for one another. By articulating their complex feelings in this forum, they gradually gain the ability to make meaningful changes. The drafts also give them a safe way to be vulnerable and bare their deepest feelings as they pursue reconciliation.

The Ask Allie column is symbolic of guidance. Lauren is initially skeptical when Lois suggests that she read the Ask Allie column and write to Allie for advice on her marriage. However, once Lauren reads the sample letters that Lois shares with her, the column begins to teach Lauren that “[u]nconditional love is the freedom to follow your heart and still have a home” (240). Ask Allie offers Lauren an unbiased, impartial perspective on love in general, and reading these letters and writing to Allie helps Lauren to make sense of her own marital complexities.

The vase that Lauren throws at Ryan before their separation is symbolic of anger and frustration. Lauren throws the vase when she reaches her proverbial emotional breaking point. When the object falls, “water flies into the air, the stems and petals disperse and fall to the ground, and the glass shatters into so many pieces that [Lauren is] not sure [she] even remember[s] what it used to look like” (58). This imagery captures the chaos of Lauren’s internal state and her recognition that her marriage is shattering just like the vase itself. She is so distressed by the constant fighting that she feels as if she herself is falling apart. The shards of the vase and the scattered water and flowers therefore act as a physical manifestation of her internal unrest and the upheaval that she and Ryan are facing.