After You

Louisa doesn’t hear from Lily for several days. Although worried, she is glad for some personal space. Meanwhile, she tries not to think about Sam, attends a grief group, and focuses on work. Then one night, Lily shows back up at Louisa’s apartment at two am. She’s visibly drunk and falls asleep on the couch.

Louisa lets Lily stay with her. They develop a routine, but Lily often spends her days outside the apartment. Louisa tries determining what she might be up to while attempting to patch things up with Steven. Then one night, Sam shows up at her apartment. He was in the neighborhood and wanted to see if Louisa was okay. They chat for a while before Sam invites her to his place. They take his motorcycle to “the very edge of the city” where Sam recently bought land (112). He is living in an old railroad car on the property until he builds a house. They spend the rest of the evening talking about their lives, the difficulties of teenagers, and recovering from grief.

At the grief group, Louisa opens up about missing Will. She wishes she could talk to him about everything going on in her life. When she returns home afterward, Lily is moody and distant. Louisa calls Treena for advice. Treena reminds Louisa she isn’t Lily’s parent but suggests she engage with Lily differently.

On Friday, Louisa brings home paint and invites Lily to help her spruce up the apartment. While working, they chat about Will and the Traynors. Afterward, they go out dancing. When they emerge from the club, they run into Sam who had a call in the area. He offers Lily and Louisa a ride in the ambulance. Back at Louisa’s flat, Lily teases Louisa about Sam.

Louisa writes Camilla a letter about Lily but doesn’t receive a reply. Then one day, Tanya calls to inform Louisa she and her family will be out of town. Remembering Lily mentioned someone named Martin who she was in touch with, Louisa asks Tanya for his number. Tanya hangs up without explanation.

Over the following days, Louisa realizes how different her life has felt since meeting Lily. She’s been enjoying Lily’s company despite her moods. One day, she takes off from work and takes Lily on a drive. Over lunch, they chat about their lives and Will. Louisa asks about Martin, too. Lily explains he was Tanya’s boyfriend when she was young. He and Lily were close but didn’t get to see each other after he and Tanya broke up. Lily tried contacting him later, but he was married with a child. She sometimes still sees him, but she doesn’t fit into his family either. She opens up about her stepdad, too, and admits she doesn’t feel loved by her mom. Louisa is sympathetic.

Sam shows up at Louisa’s work unannounced one day. He explains he had a call at the airport and invites her on a date that evening. After her shift, Louisa goes home and changes for her date, unsure of where Lily is. Later, she arrives at Sam’s soaking wet from the rain. He invites her to change in his room where Louisa notices a picture of a woman she guesses is his late wife.

The two spend the evening talking intimately. Overwhelmed by sudden desire, Louisa kisses Sam. Before they have sex, they show each other the scars on their bodies. Then they sleep together.

After sex, Louisa lies in Sam’s arms feeling surprisingly comfortable. In the morning, however, she realizes she’s just another woman Sam slept with to get over his wife. She gets dressed without making conversation, but Sam insists on driving her home.

Back at the flat, Louisa finds Lily dressed in the black and yellow tights Will gave her. Horrified that Lily went through her things, she demands that Lily remove the tights. Lily huffily takes them off and leaves to go clubbing. Afterward, Louisa apologizes to Sam for the scene.

At the next Moving On Circle, the group discusses the ways they might get over their loss. Louisa opens up about her date. Then Jake tells the group his dad is seeing someone more seriously. Louisa thinks he’s talking about her and feels hopeful that Sam will stop sleeping with other people to be with her. Then Jake says he met his dad’s new girlfriend and doesn’t like her; the woman he describes isn’t Louisa. Mortified and hurt, Louisa leaves the group abruptly. Outside, she runs into Sam. She calls him names and races away, crying.

The next week is stormy and gray. Louisa feels miserable, still angry with Sam, and frustrated with herself. Lily is in a bad mood, too. Then one day, she leaves Louisa a note apologizing for taking the tights and complimenting her old clothes. The next day, Louisa takes Lily to meet Camilla but agrees per Lily’s request not to tell her who she is at first. Camilla lets the woman into her home but seems distant throughout the visit. Finally, they reveal Lily’s identity. Camilla acts incredulous, which upsets Lily. She accuses Camilla of being as heartless as everyone else and storms outside. In the car, Louisa insists Lily should have had more sympathy for Camilla, who’s still grieving Will. Lily accuses Louisa of being “a loser who thinks [she] can tell other people what to do” (170). Louisa doesn’t respond and drives the whole way home in silence.