Helena Marino’s wartime journey toward self-discovery conveys how an individual’s social and political context can complicate their attempts at self-actualization. In both the narrative past and present, Helena tries to claim a definite sense of self despite the odds against her. When she first arrives in Paladia from Etras, Helena is an outsider. She is disparaged and disregarded for being a foreigner and a woman. Enrollment “at the Institute [is] a status symbol,” and her peers and educators are skeptical of her acceptance into the alchemy program (42). With the support of her new friend, Luc Holdfast, Helena convinces herself that she will “stay beyond Year Five,” “study more than just the principal foundations of alchemy,” and “ascend to the highest floors, make discoveries, and do the kind of work that would change the world”; she promises herself that her name will be “remembered forever” (42). These youthful aspirations establish Helena’s boldness, heart, and drive. However, she loses touch with these innate aspects of her identity after suffering years of abuse and exploitation at the hands of the Holdfasts, Morrough, and the Undying. These emotional and psychological challenges fracture her identity across competing loyalties, relationships, and expectations.

Helena’s evolving relationship with Kaine Ferron offers her insight into the woman she could become. Although she initially regards Kaine as her enemy, she notices an undeniable spark between them. Kaine gradually proves to be affectionate and understanding, and he becomes one of Helena’s only allies throughout the ongoing Necromancy War. Whereas Luc is fickle and Lila Bayard is often absent, Helena can count on Kaine. His constancy helps her find grounding in her otherwise unpredictable world. From this place of constant companionship, Helena finds the security to explore her interior world on her own terms. Because Kaine’s only desire is for Helena to be strong, safe, and loved, Helena feels safe to explore her heart when she is with him.

Over time, Helena realizes that the Holdfasts’ treatment of her is unjust: They have deprived her of a cohesive identity by forcing her to cross moral boundaries she otherwise wouldn’t have. “She was better than this,” she eventually realizes, and resolves to make decisions according to her own internal compass (259), reclaiming the right to define her own identity. Aligning herself with Kaine is a show of her newfound self-assurance. She makes the decision to love and be with Kaine because she has learned to follow her heart. Kaine also inspires Helena to take more risks and to stand up for what she believes in. Helena ultimately defeats her enemies, flees to safety, and makes a life with her lover and child despite her harrowing circumstances. Once Helena stops letting others control her, she is able to formulate a holistic sense of self she is proud of.