All Boys Aren't Blue

In Chapter 14, Johnson finds the friends they need to live authentically. This marks the difference between Part 3’s themes of isolation and hurt and Part 4’s themes of acceptance and belonging. Alpha Phi Alpha is a fraternity that attracts other queer people like Johnson who seek to understand their relationship to masculinity: It isn’t a coincidence that half of Johnson’s line brothers are also queer. Johnson uses this fact to illustrate that their struggle isn’t solely personal. Many queer people struggle in the same way and turn to fraternities because these institutions are stereotypically masculine. Before Johnson learns to accept themself, they believe being what society views as properly masculine will let them love themself, and many of Johnson’s line brothers arrive at Alpha Phi Alpha by similar reasoning. By chasing societal expectations, Johnson accidentally finds the community and friendship they need to love themself as they are.

Chapter 15 shows Johnson finally claiming agency over their sexuality. This is one of two chapters about sexual encounters and experience (alongside Chapter 11). The two chapters deal with sexual encounters that are consensual and nonconsensual, respectively. By definition, one cannot lose their virginity twice, so Johnson’s decision in naming this chapter is significant. By labeling their first experience in consensual sex as a second loss of virginity, Johnson seizes agency over their own narrative, defining themself independently of what others may think. Johnson’s pride in their sexuality is also significant. After having consensual sex for the first time, Johnson calls a line brother to let him know. This is significant because until this point, Johnson had to hide their queerness and lie about it. At the beginning of the chapter, Johnson admits that they could only envision intimate relationships with men through imagining being a woman; Johnson could not imagine their own desires until experiencing them directly. The support of Johnson’s line brothers and celebration of their identity finally allow Johnson to live outside of the closet.

Chapter 16 explores the support of Johnson’s closest cisgender and heterosexual line brother, Kenny. A common motif throughout the memoir is the supportive cisgender and heterosexual friend or family member. Johnson repeats often that anti-queer bias isn’t innate but learned, which implies that it can change. Kenny is proof of Johnson’s point as someone who “should” have held anti-gay bias given the time and place where he grew up. Kenny’s abrupt death is also a reminder that life, including self-acceptance, cannot be put off indefinitely. Johnson urges readers to accept themselves fully because time is so limited and death can be so sudden. Johnson reasons that if Kenny could so easily accept them, anybody can overcome their biases against queer people.