All That's Left in the World

“The doorknob turns. It’s not locked.

There’s someone out there, and now they’re coming in here.

The door swings open and I take aim.”

The initial chapters of the novel are filled with tension and suspense. This idea is reflected in the novel’s structure, as Jamie’s chapter ends with the tense moment of Andrew opening the door. This dramatic irony, where the reader knows that an injured Andrew is on the other side of the door but Jamie does not, reinforces the danger of the world that these boys now inhabit.

“He has that look, though. I saw it happening to me when people I knew started dying—with every glance in the mirror it got worse. I was young, but I began to look haggard. Tired. Beaten down. He has that same broken stare.”

Andrew’s first thoughts of how Jamie looks reflect everything that the boys have been through. Andrew immediately recognizes the “broken” nature of Jamie, reflecting the mutual connection that they will form in the trauma that they have faced.

“‘I’m not infected and my last family member died five months ago. My sister. She was twelve years old. You’re the first person I’ve talked to since.’

The last part is a lie, but I don’t want to think about the Fosters. I look away from him as my eyes burn with tears.”

As Andrew hesitates then decides to lie to Jamie about the Fosters, the theme of Rebuilding Trust After Trauma is conveyed. He is hesitant to trust Jamie not because of the information that he has but because of his fears of how Jamie will react to that information. Additionally, Brown introduces the Fosters but does not explain what Andrew is suffering, foreshadowing the internal conflict that he will face throughout the novel and building mystery for the reader.

“Do no harm. It was my mother’s catchall for ‘be nice to people.’ And now I can picture her giving me that Jamison-what-did-I-tell-you? look. I’m helping him because it’s the right thing to do. Although the world’s different now. The right thing to do might change from person to person. Andrew’s right thing might be to kill me while my back is turned.”

The phrase “do no harm” is part of the Hippocratic Oath, the pledge that all medical professionals make to their patients to ensure that they will always do their best to care for them. Andrew’s use of the phrase draws a connection back to his past life, reinforcing the influence that his mother continues to have on him even after her death. Additionally, his thoughts convey the theme of Shifting Morality in the Face of Death. While “do no harm” may have been an oath before the pandemic, he now acknowledges that this idea shifts as the world becomes more dangerous.

“The first cover is worn and has an old cruise ship on the front. It’s called The Voyage Out and it’s by Virginia Woolf. I’ve heard of her but not the book.”

This allusion to Woolf’s novel foreshadows the journey that Andrew and Jamie are going to embark on in the novel. Woolf’s first novel, The Voyage Out tells the story of a ship that travels from England to South America, exploring the lives of the wealth passengers aboard. Just as these characters discovered things about their lives, love, and belonging, so, too, will Andrew and Jamie in All That’s Left in the World.

“There isn’t that defensiveness about [Jamie] that there was with other guys our age. The ones who worry that if they get too close they might catch the gay. One guy told me that once.”

Andrew’s sexuality was an important part of his life before the pandemic, largely because of the anti-gay bias that he faced. Initially, he compares Jamie, who he sees as a “straight guy” to the boys who bullied him in school. However, the fact that Jamie is “different” plays an important part in Rebuilding Trust After Trauma. Jamie’s empathy and compassion are unique to Andrew, giving him the ability to begin to trust him.

“It hasn’t even been a full day, but having [Andrew] here gives me something to do. Something to distract me from the silence and the memories and the fear. It also doesn’t hurt to have someone to talk to.”

These initial feelings that Jamie has toward Andrew foreshadow their growing romantic relationship. Although he doesn’t yet fully acknowledge how much Andrew means to him, his view of Andrew as support and distraction conveys the theme of The Value of Human Connection. What starts as feelings of comfort grows into a necessity for both boys throughout the novel.

“[Jamie] isn’t a monster. He proved that much when he didn’t shoot me. That moment alone was enough to prove he isn’t like the others I’ve met. Isn’t like me.”

These thoughts from Andrew emphasize the theme of Rebuilding Trust After Trauma. For him, the fact that Jamie did not kill him allows him to begin to believe that he can trust him. Additionally, they reflect the lasting impact that Andrew’s trauma has on him. After killing the Fosters, he views himself as equal to the other dangerous people in the world, emphasizing his inner conflict over who he believes he has become.

“I smile as I watch him mouth the words. He doesn’t open his eyes until the singer lets out the final long note. When he does, he turns red and smiles, looking quickly away from me. The next song opens with bass and harmonica and is a little faster. ‘Sorry, she was my mom’s favorite so I grew up listening to her.’”

When Andrew and Jamie listen to music together—the first time Andrew has been able to do so in months—the importance of music as a motif in the novel is clear. For Jamie, the song allows him to relive his memories of his mother, causing him to get lost in the moment and briefly forget about the pandemic. In this rare moment, he lets his guard down, emphasizing his growing relationship with Andrew through his willingness to let Andrew into this part of his life. Letting Andrew witness this private ritual with Nina Simone marks a leap in intimacy; music becomes a conduit for The Value of Human Connection when language still feels dangerous.

“Chills return, and something else. It feels like grief. The idea of Andrew leaving and me being alone again creates a pit in my chest like all my vital organs have gone missing.”

As Jamie struggles with his feelings for Andrew, he is initially unable to admit them to himself or the reader. However, the first-person point of view gives the reader insight into his feelings. The reader is able to see The Value of Human Connection beginning to be reflected in Jamie, as he becomes overwhelmed at the thought of losing Andrew.

“Howard chuckles but proceeds to light up. ‘Not much these days don’t.’ He lets the smoke out through his nostrils, like a dragon warning us that he can breathe fire. He tucks the pack and lighter into his pocket and leans back, relaxing.”

This simile, which compares Howard to a dragon, underscores the danger that Howard and his people pose to Andrew and Jamie. He puts up the façade that he is not there to harm them, sitting down with them, smoking, and chatting with them. However, the fact that he is portrayed as a dangerous dragon hint toward the true danger he will pose, building a mood of unease and tension.

“I just only watched Hallmark Channel movies. And I’ve seen way too many of those. In fact, I’ve seen so many, there are some I’ve rewatched in their entirety thinking they were a new movie, only to realize at the end I had seen them before.

But that’s what I like about them. They’re safe and predictable.

Unlike the world now.”

As Andrew repeatedly talks about popular movies and recounts their plots to Jamie, Jamie hides the fact that he once had an obsession with Hallmark Channel movies. These movies are generally romance movies that are seen as less intellectual and very similar to each other, providing feel-good viewership. This fact reflects Jamie’s desire for safety and comfort.

“We walk. I hold his hand and he’s holding mine, tight. My arm is wrapped around his waist, holding him up. I’m cold, I’m went, and I’m terrified. But with Andrew this close I feel safer, like whatever’s in the dark can’t hurt us.”

As the tension and danger increases in the flooded tunnel, Andrew and Jamie rely on each other for support and comfort. This moment emphasizes the theme of The Value of Human Connection. Even if they do not yet articulate what they mean to each other, their relationship has become invaluable to their survival, allowing them to make it through the tunnel through the comfort they find in each other. Handholding inside a drowned tunnel turns caretaking into survival, a small scene that argues The Value of Human Connection is how they keep going.

“He seems to trust you, to leave his whole life behind, so shouldn’t you tell him before he finds out and it kills him? Again, I’m speaking metaphorically here.”

This moment between Henri and Andrew once Jamie goes to sleep emphasizes the goodness within Henri. While Andrew hides the truth about going to Alexandria, Henri immediately recognizes it. However, she does not scold Andrew for keeping the secret or even ask him to reveal the truth to her. Instead, she provides him with unbiased advice, emphasizing the fact that the truth could “kill” Jamie—either because of the dangers of going to Alexandria or because of the damage that hiding the truth could cause to their relationship.

“Honey, if all that stops people from killing each other is the laws of men, then maybe we deserved to be wiped out by the flu. You have to trust people sometimes. The good in this world might surprise you.”

Henri’s parting words to Andrew and Jamie reaffirm the theme of Shifting Morality in the Face of Death. The societies that Andrew and Jamie encounter are defined by the lack of law and structure in the world, allowing for force and violence to take control of the world. However, Henri is certain that “laws of man” were not the only thing keeping people in line. Her words give Andrew and Jamie hope that good people do exist in the world.

“Andrew stops talking and tears fall from his eyes and he lets out a sob. I put my arm around him and pull him closer to me. The sounds he’s making hurt my heart. His cries are exactly why I’ve been afraid to use the gun.”

This moment, after Andrew tells Jamie about killing the Fosters, reinforces the value that the two boys now hold for each other as a source of comfort and support. Additionally, Jamie’s thoughts draw a parallel between the internal conflicts that both boys face. Jamie does not judge Andrew for what he did to the Fosters; instead, he recognizes the grief that comes with killing someone, even if it is out of a need for survival. His empathy ultimately allows Andrew to begin to heal from what he did.

“Maybe there’s something more down south. More settlements and survivors. Maybe Henri’s daughter. If I’m being honest, it’s a terrible idea. But I want to hope. I have to hope. No, it’s not a want, it’s a need. I need her to still be alive. I need there to be something left in this world that’s worth hoping for.”

After finding nothing at the Washington, DC, airport, Jamie and Andrew struggle with what to do and where to go now that they are met with a dead end. Ultimately, as Andrew’s thoughts express, their decision to find Amy is rooted in their desire to find good people in the world. Although they know nothing about Amy, Andrew’s need to “hope” for her survival emphasizes their need to find more human connection to rebuild their lives. Andrew’s insistence on hope repositions connection as a survival strategy. Finding Amy is a forward-facing act of The Value of Human Connection.

“I shake my head. It feels ridiculous now, but seconds ago I thought I might die. ‘I can’t sleep over there. It feels…’

I don’t know what it feels like. Again, ‘like dying’ seems an overreaction, but Andrew nods like he understands anyway.

‘I know, it’s weird. That’s what I didn’t want to say before.’

‘Um…’ I hug the pillow to my chest. ‘Can I sleep in here?’”

In the hotel, Rosewood attempts to force Andrew and Jamie to sleep in different rooms. However, Jamie finds himself unable to sleep, instead having a panic attack that makes him feel as though he “might die.” This moment underscores how important the two boys have become to each other. Even if Jamie has still not faced his growing physical attraction, what he values is the support and comfort that Andrew offers him—something that Andrew willingly gives to get the same in exchange.

“Andrew’s voice is a quiet warning, telling me to calm down. They can take whatever food they want, but I want my books back. My mother’s notebook is my main concern, but I also had the old book Andrew left me. I want them both and then we’re getting the hell out of here. ‘Where’d they take our shit?’ My blood pumps in my ears and the muscles in my throat tighten.”

The moment where Jamie confronts Cara about their supplies being taken from them underscores the difference between Jamie and Andrew’s character. This is one of the first scenes where Jamie’s anger has come through, overwhelming him as he treats Cara with anger and tries to force her to give them answers. Conversely, Andrew recognizes Cara’s fear; his choice to treat her with comfort and compassion ultimately succeeds in getting them the help they need.

“Harvey has barely a second to realize his mistake before I put our gun to his yellow grin—which drops slowly in surprise—and pull the trigger.

Blood spatters my face and the world speeds up again. Harvey is dead on the ground. Next to him Walt is screaming and clutching his side with both his hands. There’s a weapon next to him and I kick it away.

Andrew.”

Brown’s diction as he describes Jamie’s killing of Harvey underscores the brutality of what Jamie has done, using words like “yellow grin,” “spatter,” “screaming,” and “clutching.” These words serve to unsettle the reader, emphasizing the impact that this moment will have on Jamie’s character. For the first time, he steps into that world of brutality, killing another person brutally in an effort to save himself and Andrew. Brown’s brutal imagery forces the reader into Jamie’s moral shock, then immediately pivots to motive—protecting Andrew—foregrounding the book’s core tension in Shifting Morality in the Face of Death.

“[Andrew] gives me a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you look and I feel nothing but shame. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, how I’ve changed this much. Seven months ago I was terrified of using a gun and now I’m pointing one at an unarmed girl who helped us.”

After Jamie kills Harvey, there is a shift in his character. He is quiet and distant, then is brash and rude when he does speak to Cara. This Jamie directly contrasts the quiet, calculating Jamie who existed for the first part of the novel. This change underscores just how much Jamie was affected by the act of killing Harvey.

“It sounds awful to say that what happened with Harvey made me realize my feelings are real, but it’s true. Not the act of killing him—that was awful. That’s something I don’t ever want to experience again. But protecting Andrew is something I would do in a heartbeat. I would do anything for him.”

After Jamie struggles with the negative change that comes with killing Harvey, he also acknowledges that another change has occurred within him. For the first time, he is able to confront his feelings for Andrew, recognizing just how much he means to him. The act of violence that damaged Jamie also highlighted The Value of Human Connection, as he now realizes just how much he will do to protect Andrew.

“I focus on everything Jamie and I have been through instead of the burning agony in my legs and back. I focus on memories of his smile. The way his cheeks dimple when he laughs. The way his hands feel when he holds mine.”

As Andrew struggles to save Jamie, he is motivated by the relationship that he has built with him. He has traveled dozens of miles in just a few days, finding the strength to do so out of his desire to save Andrew. This fact underscores The Value of Human Connection that will continue to be valuable to their relationship, finally giving them a reason to fight to survive.