All the Little Raindrops

During the first part of the narrative, Evan and Noelle develop a strong attachment despite their antagonistic personal history prior to captivity. This causes each of them to seek comfort and understanding in the other, though their continued contact causes them pain as well. Dr. Vitucci later explains the concept of a shared trauma bond to Evan, saying that such bonds “are very, very strong because […] they mean survival […] Sometimes that bond is even mistaken for deep love, but it’s a love that feels desperate and possessive” (184). This complication informs the evolution of the bond between Evan and Noelle, leading to questions about whether they are really in love or simply trauma bonded.

Trauma bonds are a well-documented psychological phenomenon, although they are most commonly associated with relationships between abusers and those they victimize or with other scenarios involving a power imbalance and violence or cruelty (e.g., a cult). The bond typically develops when the person being abused cannot escape their abuser and when the abuser alternates between cruelty and relative kindness. This creates a dynamic in which the person experiencing the abuse feels dependent on their abuser for their physical or psychological survival. However, the term is also sometimes used to refer to unhealthy relationship dynamics that develop between survivors of trauma, which may mirror typical trauma bonds in intensity and cause similar psychological harm: “[T]his bond, rooted in past trauma rather than healthy attachment, can lead to a cycle where each individual’s unhealed wounds fuel co-dependency rather than mutual growth and healing” (Tucker, Sarah. “Trauma Bonding in Relationships.” Chateau Health & Wellness, 4 Mar. 2024).

Evan and Noelle’s experiences are highly conducive to forming just this kind of bond. The abuse they experience in captivity is intense and inescapable but also cyclical, alternating with periods of relative calm or even “reward.” Moreover, the dynamics of the game encourage them to contribute to one another’s abuse; though both Evan and Noelle resist this, choosing to sacrifice themselves instead, it blurs the lines between abuser and abused in a way that could lead them to displace their feelings about their captors onto one another. The language that Sheridan uses to describe Evan and Noelle’s feelings for one another, particularly early in the novel, suggests that it may in fact be rooted in just this kind of trauma. When they get to the motel in Mexico, Noelle “[sees] the same desperation in [Evan’s eyes] that must be in her own. The vital need to feel alive. To grasp control” (111). This sense of “desperation” harkens to trauma bonding’s origins in survival—another word that appears repeatedly as the description of their sex continues. While their relationship ultimately evolves into genuine love, they must spend several years apart before they can face each other without simply reliving past trauma.