In All the Other Mothers Hate Me, Harman uses the fish-out-of-water trope to highlight the discomfort Florence feels as a lower-middle-class American attempting to navigate the wealthy, upper-class community of her son’s private school in London. The tension she feels between herself and the other St. Angeles mothers directly affects the way she feels about herself. In the opening chapters, Harman contrasts Florence’s position as a former girl-group member with a part-time balloon arch business with the other mothers who “spend all day hanging out with [their] girlfriends, doing gentle exercise and eating slices of fruit that someone else had cut” (30). To pre-empt their rejection, Florence judges the other moms because she assumes they are judging her, preventing her from forming meaningful connections with them. For instance, she presumes that the wealthy “Horse Girl Allegra” is a snob when, as Jenny points out, Florence has never actually spoken to Allegra, who is “actually really nice” (318). Florence fixates on the designer labels and luxury accessories of her peers and compares them to her own, more eccentric, discount wardrobe, revealing the hidden resentment, loneliness, and discontentment she feels with her life.

These class and cultural divides define Florence’s relationship with her ex-husband, Will, a former “St. Angeles boy” (9), reinforcing her sense that she can never fit in with or measure up to those around her. Will comes from a wealthy family and used the family fortune to start his own record label. From this, Will derives a sense of entitlement and arrogance that creates tension between himself and Florence. He arrives late to pick up Dylan and then acts as if Alfie’s disappearance is “some pesky annoyance [Florence] personally orchestrated to inconvenience him” (77). Florence resents his wealth and entitlement, as well as that of the mothers of Dylan’s classmates.

Throughout the narrative, Florence consistently compares herself to her sister, Brooke, who quickly integrated into upper-class British society after their move to the UK, while Florence still struggles to shed her insecurities around her distinctly American, lower-middle-class persona. Florence reflects that shortly after they arrived in London, Brooke “was swallowing her Rs, holding her fork in the left hand, and strategizing about which fascinator to wear at Ascot” (38). Brooke used their move to England “to recast her place in the social order” (38)—a goal she pursued with dogged determinism, eventually marrying a “stealth-posh Englishm[a]n, with manners so polished they act as a cloak of invisibility” (39). Florence finds Brooke’s ascension to the upper class ridiculous; she “loathe[s]” her sister’s fiancé and similarly wealthy friends. Meanwhile, Brooke disapproves of her sister’s decidedly unfocused approach to life, which she believes keeps her stuck both socially and financially. She critiques everything from her sister’s clothes and appearance to her struggle to find childcare as a single mother. Their arguments leave Florence feeling like there is a “rottenness lurking at [her] core” (42) in contrast with her sister’s “goodness,” which prevents the sisters from closer intimacy.

Like Florence’s other relationships, her friendship with Jenny, the high-powered, successful American attorney who wears a six-figure watch, is initially defined by their class differences. When Florence goes to Jenny’s house, she is envious of her luxurious wardrobe, noting “racks and racks of Celine garment bags, crispy tailored Joseph trousers, wool coats from Row” (127), comparing them to her own outfit: an “orange puffer coat” and “glittery crop top,” which makes her “feel like a slutty troll doll” (127), which becomes a source the conflict between them throughout the novel. For example, during one of their arguments, Jenny tells Florence that had she been on the clock, “this little chat would have cost you £450” (194), creating “a new undercurrent to [their] relationship, an edge that wasn’t there before” (206). The crisis of Alfie’s disappearance and Dylan’s potential involvement pushes Florence out of her cycle of comparison and insecurity, forcing her to take action to protect her son. Working with Jenny to save Alfie and Dylan and bring Adam to justice allows Florence to reevaluate her priorities and capabilities, creating a healthier bond between them.