All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation

Gilbert fondly recalls that Rayya’s candid nature and irreverent humor meant that she was often the life of the party, and she helped everyone else relax and behave authentically, too. Gilbert calls her a “social magician” for her ability to connect with others (77). As she got to know Rayya better, Gilbert admired her candor and intense commitment to the truth. Rayya felt that honesty eliminated artifice and drama, and as such was a “straight shooter” in how she expressed herself (78). Gilbert, who had always been a people-pleaser, was amazed by Rayya’s candor. She attributes this to her childhood experiences in which being pleasant always felt safer than being totally honest. As an adult, Gilbert tends to avoid uncomfortable conversations and being assertive, so watching Rayya do both was shocking and intriguing. For instance, when Gilbert invited her friend Tina over for dinner, she wanted to cheer her up, knowing that she was going through a divorce and potentially struggling with addiction. Rayya, however, kindly and honestly acknowledged that Tina looked awful and asked her what was really going on. Tina soon collapsed in tears, admitting to self-harm, addiction, and suicidal thoughts, and Rayya comforted her. Ultimately, Tina was able to get her thoughts off her chest and Rayya recommended recovery programs to her.