All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation

After Rayya’s death, Gilbert was left emotionally raw and grieving. To cope with her grief, Gilbert clung to two old habits: pretending that she was fine, and overworking herself. She launched into speaking engagements, trying to recover financially from her divorce and Rayya’s death. She then began working on a new novel, a book which was a year overdue, to complete her contract and earn money again. Gilbert’s love and sex addiction went untreated, as she felt that she had no need to visit the recovery programs anymore.

Gilbert moved back into the old church and was astonished when a new family moved in next door with a puppy named Rayya. Gilbert felt Rayya’s presence come and go that whole summer, haunting the house. Gilbert spoke to Rayya often, asking for advice and expressing grief and rage. In addition to her novel contract, Gilbert was also responsible for taking care of Rayya’s estate, which was a confused mess, and carrying out her promises to her friends. Gilbert was often overtaken by waves of intense grief that caused her to physically collapse, which Rayya’s ex-wife Gigi referred to as a “bow-down moment” (313).