Always Looking Up

This memoir is the second by actor Michael J. Fox, following his 2002 book Lucky Man. Organized thematically around four pillars, Work, Politics, Faith, and Family, it covers the decade after Fox left Spin City, during which he became a Parkinson's disease advocate, political activist, and founder of a leading medical research organization. Fox opens with a vivid account of his morning routine, illustrating how far his Parkinson's disease (PD), a progressive neurological disorder, has advanced. His entire body now shakes upon waking. He forces cramped feet into hard shoes, uses his tremor to brush his teeth, and forgoes shaving. Catching his reflection, he notices a self-satisfied expression: "It just gets better from here" (4). The title is both a joke about his height, just under five-foot-five, and a description of the optimistic outlook that sustains him.

The first section, "Work," traces Fox's final years on the ABC sitcom Spin City. Levodopa, the synthetic dopamine that controls Parkinson's symptoms, was unreliable: Too little left him stiff and slow, while too much triggered dyskinesias, involuntary rocking and weaving movements. He masked symptoms on camera by manipulating props, leaning on fellow actors, and redirecting tremor to a concealed extremity. Staff mistook his "Parkinson's mask," a loss of facial animation, for anger. The decision to leave came on New Year's Eve 1999. While snorkeling off St. John's in the U.S. Virgin Islands, Fox followed a sea turtle and emerged to tell his wife, Tracy, he was leaving the show. She responded with a single word, "Good," and an embrace. Fox recognized he was ending the acting career he had known since age 16, unable to rely on the physical dexterity that had defined characters like Alex Keaton on Family Ties and Marty McFly in the Back to the Future films. His final episode, filmed March 17, 2000, mirrored his departure: Mike Flaherty resigns to protect the mayor. The cast took a curtain call to Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days," and Fox went home without setting the alarm.

Fox recounts how his 1998 public disclosure of his diagnosis, after seven years of secrecy, connected him to over a million Americans with Parkinson's. Joan Samuelson, an attorney with PD who led the Parkinson's Action Network, persuaded Fox to testify before a Senate subcommittee. During the hearing, a researcher suggested a cure might be possible within a decade given sufficient funding. A summer 2000 trip to France proved catalytic: Fox met cyclist Lance Armstrong, whose cancer foundation inspired him. At the Tour de France victory celebration at the Musée d'Orsay, Fox spoke with Armstrong's mother, Linda, about optimism. At a later meeting in New York, Armstrong advised that the essential ingredient for a successful foundation is the people you surround yourself with.

Back in New York, Fox hired Debi Brooks, a former Goldman Sachs vice president, as executive director; Brooks shared his urgent goal of doing whatever was necessary to find a cure. At an October planning meeting, Fox told assembled CEOs, "I need you to help me go out of business" (55). Hedge fund manager Curtis Schenker connected the foundation to Wall Street's philanthropic community, and within weeks the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research was incorporated. Its first research grants drew 200 applications from 20 countries, far exceeding available funds. Fox also forged a bond with Muhammad Ali, the legendary boxer and the world's most recognized Parkinson's patient. Ali's wife, Lonnie, joined the foundation's board.

The second section, "Politics," chronicles Fox's emergence as a campaigner for embryonic stem cell research, a field that uses cells from surplus fertility-clinic embryos. His involvement traced back to Christopher Reeve, the actor paralyzed in a 1995 equestrian accident who became a fierce research advocate. Reeve died in 2004, and his wife, Dana, died of lung cancer shortly after, deepening Fox's resolve. In August 2001, President George W. Bush had restricted federally funded stem cell research to approximately 60 existing cell lines, lab-grown stem-cell populations. Advocates determined the viable number was far fewer, freezing progress. The Fox Foundation funded its own stem cell research, but when Bush vetoed the Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act in July 2006, Fox went on offense. Under strategist John Rogers, whose father and grandmother had died of PD, Fox targeted close Senate races, particularly Claire McCaskill's challenge to incumbent Jim Talent in Missouri. In October, Fox filmed campaign ads that drew power from his visibly symptomatic body. Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh attacked Fox on air, alleging he was faking symptoms. Fox's team seized the spotlight to educate the public, explaining dyskinesias as a medication side effect. Tracy crystallized the moment: For the first time in their marriage, Fox had such conviction that he truly did not care what anyone thought. On election night, McCaskill trailed until late urban returns pushed her ahead. Fox fell asleep on the sofa and woke the next morning with a smile.

The third section, "Faith," explores Fox's spiritual life. Fear, he argues, is often confused with respect in religious contexts; his experiences with alcohol addiction and Parkinson's taught him that understanding replaces fear with knowledge. He traveled to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to meet Bishop Carlton D. Pearson, an evangelical preacher who renounced the doctrine of hell and lost his congregation. Fox draws a parallel: Both had truths thrust upon them that forced them to rebuild. But he notes a key difference: Fox did not choose to have Parkinson's, whereas Pearson walked into his crisis with eyes open. Fox traces his deepening connection to Judaism through Tracy. At his son Sam's bar mitzvah, a Jewish coming-of-age ceremony, Sam asked Fox to speak. Fox improvised a story about teaching Sam to ride a bicycle, a parable about letting go. At a 2007 Rosh Hashanah service, an observance of the Jewish New Year, Rabbi Peter Rubinstein honored non-Jewish spouses who raise their children in the faith, calling them "precious" and "courageous" (200). The section closes with the sudden death of Fox's oldest sister, Karen, who had epilepsy and collapsed from a brain hemorrhage in November 2007. At her bedside in British Columbia, the family sang Karen's favorite song as she slipped away.

The fourth section, "Family," reflects on Fox's marriage and his growth as a father. He recounts September 11, 2001, when he was stranded in Los Angeles while Tracy, eight months pregnant, and the children were in New York. Unable to fly, Fox drove cross-country over 48 hours. On November 3, Tracy delivered their fourth child, Esmé. Fox traces his evolution from overprotective first-time parent to a more relaxed approach, reflecting that children are like jukeboxes: "Put in your two bits, maybe give them a bit of a nudge to get them going, but nine times out of ten, if you're lucky, they're going to play their own tune" (237). He recounts a 1997 road trip to California with eight-year-old Sam, a bonding experience and a rebellion against the disease's encroachment on his life.

The epilogue compresses one week in late 2008 to show all four pillars converging. Fox wrapped a guest arc on the television series Rescue Me, playing a character who uses a wheelchair. He attended Karen's Kaddish, a Jewish memorial prayer, at Central Synagogue. He and Esmé cheered on Team Fox, the foundation's fundraising running team, in the New York City Marathon. On Election Day, Fox revealed his vote via a T-shirt reading "Barack to the Future." At the foundation's annual benefit, Fox announced, "This is almost worth getting Parkinson's for!" (272) and joined Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey of The Who onstage. By spring 2009, the foundation will have funded nearly 200 million dollars in Parkinson's research, making it the world's leading private funder. The book closes with Fox climbing into bed beside Tracy, silently thanking her, and reflecting: "I've always dreamt big" (276).