Ask Not: The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Throughout the book, Callahan shows how media narratives shaped public perception of the Kennedy women. Can you recall a time when media coverage of a public figure differed dramatically from what you later learned was true?

2. Several women in the book, like Jackie Kennedy and Joan Kennedy, maintained public facades while experiencing private turmoil. Have you ever felt pressured to present a certain image to others while hiding your true feelings or circumstances?

3. The book explores how financial dependence kept many Kennedy women trapped in harmful situations. How has economic independence or lack thereof shaped your ability to make critical life decisions?

4. Callahan notes Rose Kennedy’s belief that “a woman’s greatest accomplishment is to suffer well”(233). How were you taught to handle suffering in your family or community, and how has that influenced your life?

5. Many of the women in Ask Not faced impossible choices between personal happiness and family loyalty or public duty. Have you ever experienced a similar conflict between your needs and others’ expectations? How did you navigate that tension?

6. The women this book profiles had vastly different responses to the Kennedy men’s behavior, from Jackie’s careful image management to Joan’s struggle with alcoholism to Mary Richardson’s tragic death by suicide. What factors do you think determine how people respond to betrayal or mistreatment from loved ones?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. Callahan notes how the MeToo movement encouraged a reevaluation of the Kennedy men’s treatment of women. How do you think current social movements have changed our understanding of historical figures and their behavior?

2. The book reveals the stark double standard applied to Kennedy men versus women: Men were celebrated for the same behaviors that women were condemned for. What similar double standards do you observe operating in society today?

3. Ask Not examines how Catholic values and Irish Catholic identity shaped the Kennedy family culture. How do religious or cultural backgrounds continue to influence powerful American families and political dynasties? What has changed about the intersection of faith and politics?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. Callahan organizes the book around individual women’s stories rather than chronologically. How did this structure affect your understanding of the Kennedy legacy and its impact on women?

2. Throughout the book, Callahan uses quotes from various media sources to show how narratives were constructed about Kennedy women. How effective was the author’s technique in demonstrating media complicity?

3. The author frequently juxtaposes private realities with public personas. How does this contrast help illuminate the book’s thematic messages about power and silencing?

4. Consider the portrayal of Joseph Kennedy Sr. as the “poisonous root” of the family’s misogyny. How does Callahan develop this metaphor throughout the book, and what evidence does she provide to support it?

5. Callahan’s examination of women confined by social expectations in Ask Not echoes themes from Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique. How do their different approaches—Callahan’s investigative journalism versus Friedan’s sociological analysis—illuminate similar issues of women’s oppression?

6. The book reveals many instances in which others excused or even enabled the Kennedy men’s behavior. How does Callahan portray the concept of complicity throughout the text, and who besides the media does she implicate?