Awake

Hatmaker begins by highlighting that the memoir is from her perspective only. She acknowledges that other people have perceived the same events differently.

On July 11, 2020, at 2:30 am, Jen Hatmaker woke to hear her husband, Brandon, whisper, “I just can’t quit you” (30). She realized that he was sending a message to a lover. When Brandon refused to tell her everything, Hatmaker instructed him to leave. Devastated, she messaged her parents and her siblings, Lindsay, Cortney, and Drew. They gathered at her parents’ house, and Hatmaker screamed in the arms of her family.

As a high school freshman, Hatmaker attended True Love Waits sessions at her church. Holding up a red rose, the pastor compared the girls’ sexual purity to the perfect bloom: a “gift” to bestow on their future husbands once they married. Stripping the rose’s petals until it was reduced to a bare stem, the pastor likened this process to engaging in sexual activity before marriage. Hatmaker had only kissed a boy, but now felt ashamed.