Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality

Anthony de Mello

63 pages 2-hour read

Anthony de Mello

Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1990

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Key Figures

Anthony de Mello

Anthony de Mello (1931-1987) was a Jesuit priest, psychotherapist, and spiritual teacher from India, and his work actively synthesizes Christian spirituality with Eastern mystical traditions and modern psychological principles. Educated in both India and the United States, de Mello conducted spiritual conferences and retreats worldwide, becoming known for his direct, humorous, and forceful teaching style. His work gained prominence in an era when many in the West were seeking spiritual meaning outside of traditional religious structures. Awareness, a posthumously published collection of his conference talks, presents his core philosophy in an unfiltered manner, and throughout each posthumously published “chapter,” de Mello’s unique voice allows him to function as a direct spiritual guide. His use of parables, jokes, and confrontational questions challenges his listeners’ most fundamental beliefs about the self, happiness, and reality.


De Mello’s central argument is that most people live in a state of self-imposed suffering because they are psychologically and spiritually “asleep.” He begins by asserting that “[s]pirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep” (5). This state of metaphorical “sleep” is defined by a mechanical existence that arises from cultural conditioning, unquestioned beliefs, and emotional attachments. He argues that all unhappiness stems from people’s false belief that they need something external—such as approval, success, or another person’s love—in order to be happy. The purpose of his teaching is to guide the listener toward an awakening: A state of clear perception in which the illusions that cause suffering are seen for what they are and simply fall away.


To achieve this awakening, de Mello prescribes a single, powerful practice: detached self-observation. He instructs his audience to watch their thoughts, feelings, and reactions without judgment, as if they were observing a stranger. This practice creates a distinction between the true, observing self (the “I”) and the conditioned, egoic self (the “me”). The “me,” he explains, is an unstable collection of temporary labels such as nationality, profession, or religion, loosely connected by past programming. Thus, all suffering arises from identifying with this fragile construct. However, by observing the “me” without interference, one ceases to be controlled by its anxieties and desires, and de Mello touts this act of disidentification as the key to revealing an objective, inner “I” that is inherently peaceful and untouched by external events.


This process of observation leads to a radical redefinition of love and happiness. De Mello insists that happiness is not something to be acquired; it is humanity’s natural state and is revealed only when people drop their attachments and illusions. Similarly, he rejects the idea that love involves  needy attachment to others; instead, he defines true love as the ability to see another person clearly, without feeling desire or fear. In this view, love and happiness are byproducts of being in direct contact with reality. As he states, “Reality is not problematic. Problems exist only in the human mind” (80).


Ultimately, de Mello positions genuine spirituality in opposition to the formulas of organized religion and cultural norms, which he views as systems that reinforce the attachments keeping people from achieving awareness. He uses a wide variety of stories to illustrate the ways in which dogma and ritual can become distractions from the essential work of becoming aware. His goal is therefore to help people unlearn the conditioning that clouds their perception. Through this unlearning, he suggests, one can break free from the prison of the mind and experience life directly, with the freshness and wonder of a child.

Thomas Aquinas

Thomas Aquinas (c. 1225-1274) was an Italian Dominican friar, philosopher, and theologian whose work, particularly the Summa Theologiae (later known as the Summa Theologica, 1274), represents the pinnacle of medieval scholasticism. His synthesis of Christian doctrine with Aristotelian philosophy had a strong influence on Catholic thought for centuries. In Awareness, de Mello invokes Aquinas for his contribution to apophatic theology, or the via negativa (the “negative way”). (This pattern of thought relies upon defining what God is not in order to get closer to the unknowable truth of what God is). De Mello uses Aquinas's authority within the Catholic tradition to lend theological weight to his own central claim that God, or ultimate reality, is fundamentally unknowable and cannot be encapsulated in the abstract “concepts” that humans create to categorize the world.


De Mello repeatedly turns to Aquinas to justify his own critique of language and labels, seeing both as barriers to truth. He grounds this argument in Aquinas's famous statement: “About God, we cannot say what He is but rather what He is not. And so we cannot speak about how He is but rather how He is not” (100). Throughout his live talks and conferences, de Mello actively adopts Aquinas’s method of proceeding by negation in order to strip away false attributes from the concept of God. Just as Aquinas sought to clarify the idea of God by removing false predicates, de Mello urges his audience to clarify their perceptions of reality by dropping their preconceived notions, judgments, and emotional demands. By citing Aquinas’s work, de Mello also seeks to demonstrate that his call for “not-knowing” is in fact rooted in rigorous, orthodox Christian thought. In short, Aquinas's intellectual legacy allows de Mello to embrace the act of relinquishing concepts and present it as a higher form of knowledge and a theologically sound approach to spiritual awakening.

A. S. Neill

Alexander Sutherland Neill (1883-1973) was a Scottish educator who founded Summerhill School, a pioneering institution in the progressive education movement. Established in 1921, Summerhill championed child-centered learning, emotional freedom, and democratic self-governance, with classes being optional for students. De Mello introduces Neill and praises his work as a powerful real-world analogue for the principles of awareness. He uses Neill's educational philosophy to illustrate how love and ethical behavior emerge naturally when fear, guilt, and other forms of external coercion are removed from the learning process.


Specifically, de Mello highlights Neill's core conviction that true goodness cannot be imposed through discipline or moralistic teaching. Neill's foundational belief was that “Every child has a god in him” and that people’s “attempts to mold the child will turn the god into a devil” (179). This idea directly supports de Mello's condemnation of guilt-driven religion and fear-based morality. Neill's method, which prioritized affective safety and community meetings over external discipline, parallels de Mello's own emphasis on insight rather than analysis. Just as Neill trusted that children who are free from fear will naturally choose to learn and cooperate, de Mello argues that individuals who are free from psychological attachments will naturally become loving and compassionate.


In this way, Neill's work reinforces de Mello's central thesis that freedom is the necessary condition for love. By touting the success of Summerhill in transforming troubled children into “happy, healthy children who do no evil” (179), de Mello provides strong evidence for the idea that nonattachment can foster genuine ethical behavior when systems of rules or ideals fall short. Neill's radical trust in human nature therefore provides a secular, pedagogical application for the spiritual freedom that de Mello champions.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986) was an Indian philosopher and spiritual teacher who famously rejected the role of guru and dismantled the spiritual organization that had been built around him. In his “Dissolution Speech” of 1929, he declared: “I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. […] A belief is purely an individual matter, and you cannot and must not organize it” (“Dissolution Speech.” Krishnamurti Foundation Trust). Krishnamurti’s teachings therefore emphasize freedom from all forms of psychological authority, including organized religion, tradition, and dogma. De Mello presents Krishnamurti as a key convergent voice whose philosophy independently validates the core practice of Awareness.


Krishnamurti's concept of "choiceless awareness," a state of non-judgmental observation of one's own thought processes, is a direct parallel to the method of self-observation that de Mello prescribes. By referencing Krishnamurti, de Mello shows that this practice is a universal tool for spiritual liberation. Furthermore, Krishnamurti warns that spiritual techniques, methods, and organizations inevitably become crutches or idols, and this idea reinforces de Mello's own sharp critique of religious institutions whose dogmatic approaches ironically obstruct genuine awakening rather than facilitating it.

C. S. Lewis

Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963) was a British writer and an Oxford scholar who is best known for writing the children’s fantasy series and Christian allegory, The Chronicles of Narnia. As one of the most influential Christian apologists of the 20th century, he is also famous for having penned Mere Christianity (1952), an in-depth treatise in support of the existence of a Christian God. In Awareness, however, de Mello focuses on a different aspect of Lewis’s work by referencing his raw and candid memoir, A Grief Observed (1961), which was written after the death of Lewis’s wife. Specifically, de Mello expounds upon Lewis’s illustrations of the limits of intellectual faith in the middle of personal tragedy.


In his grief, Lewis questions the very foundations of the Christian beliefs that he has so assiduously defended, and this particular work models an honest form of “unknowing” that de Mello identifies as an essential element of authentic spiritual growth. Lewis's experience shows that even the most cherished theological comforts can crumble, forcing the spiritual questioner into a confrontation with reality that is unmediated by consoling concepts or forms of dogma. De Mello interprets Lewis's candid journey through doubt as a strong example of faith rather than a failure of it. Lewis’s own spiritual crisis thus provides a practical example of how to move beyond intellectual answers and seek a direct, experiential encounter with the mystery of the divine.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) was a French philosopher and playwright, as well as a leading figure in the existentialist movement. De Mello refers to Sartre's famous final line from the play No Exit (1944): “Hell is other people.” However, de Mello repurposes this philosophical statement for his own psychological and spiritual argument. Instead of interpreting the line as a commentary on the inescapable judgment of others’ consciousness, de Mello uses it as a diagnosis of psychological dependency. For him, “hell” denotes a state of being in which people are addicted to the approval, appreciation, and validation of others. This addiction creates a prison, for the person’s happiness and misery are equally contingent upon external opinions. By engaging with Sartre's idea, de Mello clarifies why nonattachment is a prerequisite for love; in his view, one cannot truly love people upon whom one depends in order to feel whole.

Teresa of Ávila

Teresa of Ávila (1515-1582) was a Spanish Carmelite nun, mystic, and reformer who was later named a Doctor of the Church. Her writings, especially The Interior Castle (1921), provide a detailed map of the soul's journey toward union with God. In Awareness, De Mello presents her as a classic Christian authority on the process of contemplative “unlearning.” Specifically, he highlights Teresa’s approach of “disidentifying from herself” (63), a practice in which she observed her own thoughts and feelings with a sense of detachment. This mystical state aligns with de Mello’s own teachings on disidentifying the objective “I” from the conditioned ego-self, the “me.” De Mello’s pointed reflections on Teresa’s spiritual practices are designed to situate his modern psychological approach within a long tradition of Christian contemplative practices.

Meister Eckhart

Meister Eckhart (c. 1260-1327) was a German Dominican theologian and mystic who was known for his sermons on Gelassenheit (a German term for “releasement” or “letting go”). Eckhart also emphasized the soul's direct “breakthrough” to the God that exists beyond all concepts. Though some of his teachings were posthumously censured, his influence on Christian mysticism and apophatic theology has endured for centuries. In Awareness, de Mello cites Eckhart to support his own thesis that reality reveals itself only when a person drops their labels, attachments, and preconceived notions. Eckhart's teaching on accepting life without needing “a why” directly echoes de Mello's concept of maintaining full awareness of reality without clinging to any expectations of how things should be.

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