Be Here Now

Dass (still in his Alpert identity) voices growing disillusionment with academia and his role as a social scientist. Despite his success—multiple appointments, prestigious grants, and a top-tier academic reputation—he feels a disconnect between the theories he teaches and the “real” questions of human life. He observes that universities reward intellect without necessarily fostering genuine wisdom, pointing out how psychoanalytic and psychological theories often fail to capture the deeper essence of human experience. Dass admits to compensating for this inner void with possessions, status, and excessive indulgences, all while maintaining the veneer of a flawless professional. He also describes his budding friendship with Timothy Leary and the shift in their plans after Leary’s transformative experience with psychedelic mushrooms in Mexico. Dass captures the tension between material or professional achievement and the unaddressed spiritual longing that he can no longer ignore.

Dass (then Alpert) describes his first experiences with psilocybin under Leary’s guidance, painting a vivid picture of how drastically the psychedelic opened new inner dimensions. He recounts a winter night in which a dog’s apparent distress highlighted both the comical and worrisome effects of their altered perceptions. Shortly thereafter, Dass undergoes a disassociation from every aspect of his identity—professor, socialite, and even his physical body—only to discover that an awareness still exists beyond all these layers. This realization sparks a sense of calm and self-trust that contrasts sharply with the anxiety and academic gamesmanship described in earlier chapters. Fascinated by this inner realm, Dass and Leary begin to explore systematically, sharing psilocybin with a diverse range of participants and noting how each person’s set as well as their setting shapes the experience. Despite the initial scientific enthusiasm, Dass soon finds that his transformative insights do not fit neatly into conventional psychology, prompting a deeper search for a spiritual context to his discoveries.

Dass addresses the reality of continually “coming down” from his many psychedelic explorations. Although he and his collaborators attempted increasingly elaborate methods—such as locking themselves in a building for three weeks and ingesting high-dose LSD every few hours—they consistently returned to ordinary consciousness afterward. This recurring pattern underlined the fact that a single experience, no matter how intense, could not grant permanent enlightenment. Over time, Dass found this dynamic both eye-opening and disheartening. Despite glimpsing what he refers to as heaven’s kingdom, he and his fellow experimenters invariably lost the heightened states they had gained. This repetitive cycle led Dass to question whether purely chemical means could truly unlock lasting spiritual growth.

Dass recounts the upheaval that occurred as he gradually became less dependent on external validation and more anchored in his inner sense of purpose. Despite his dismissal from Harvard—an event many regarded as a career-ending catastrophe—he recalls feeling oddly calm and self-assured, convinced that his unorthodox path was nonetheless correct. During this period, Dass and his colleagues worked to create environments that would nurture new states of awareness, allowing individuals to integrate spiritual insights into daily life. He describes how standard roles and social scripts—being the caretaker, the fundraiser, the academic—continued to shape his interactions, even as he questioned those very identities. The Tibetan Book of the Dead emerges as a guide to understanding psychedelic experiences, prompting Dass to consider the possibility of genuine psychological or spiritual “rebirth.” Dass begins to develop his deepening conviction that environments—be they physical, social, or internal—play an essential role in sustaining or undermining the states of consciousness he and others had begun to explore.

Dass describes his chance meeting with Bhagwan Dass, a 6’ 7” American traveling through India in traditional holy clothes. Despite having followed numerous “games”—as a Harvard professor, a psychedelic researcher, and a spiritual seeker—Dass immediately senses that Bhagwan Dass truly “knows” something profound. Embarking on a temple pilgrimage together, Dass experiences life stripped of the comforts and identities he once clung to, sleeping on wooden boards and adopting a dhoti at Bhagwan Dass’s behest. Their days revolve around mantras, yoga, and an insistence on living in the present moment, leaving no room for Dass’s stories about his Western achievements. This radical shift culminates when they visit a revered Guru in the Himalayan foothills—a teacher who stuns Ram Dass by demonstrating clairvoyant knowledge of his mother’s death and by showing no apparent effect after ingesting a potent dose of LSD. Confronted with experiences beyond rational explanation, Dass finds himself at a crossroads, realizing that his spiritual pursuit will require a deeper surrender of ego and a wholly new way of understanding reality.

Dass describes his life within the temple community that formed around his guru, referred to here as Maharaji. Despite having no formal agreements or fees, Ram Dass is provided with basic needs and spiritual instruction, underscoring the guru’s focus on internal rather than transactional commitments. He observes Maharaji’s near-constant state of what he calls “sahaj samadhi,” in which the guru seems less tied to material reality and more immersed in higher consciousness.

Dass also encounters a new teacher named Hari Dass Baba, who communicates through a chalkboard and teaches the principles of Ashtanga (or Raja) Yoga using pithy sayings and simple metaphors. These lessons highlight the power of purity, nonviolence, and subtle energy in everyday life. Dass emerges from these experiences convinced that true spiritual knowledge involves both formal yogic practice and a loving, ego-transcending way of being. Though he considers himself just a beginner, he feels compelled to share these insights as part of fulfilling his karmic obligations.