Big Dumb Eyes: Stories from a Simpler Mind

When Laura was pregnant, she made a bet with Bargatze’s mom about whether Bargatze would cut Harper’s umbilical cord when she’s born. Laura thought Bargatze was too squeamish, but his mom believed he could do it. Bargatze has always been repulsed by things related to the human body, which he jokingly attributes to his mother coddling him when he was young. Bargatze’s mom, on the other hand, loves the television show ER despite its goriness. Bargatze’s favorite show is Seinfeld, and even that can be too graphic for him. He makes one exception to this aversion, which is UFC.

Laura is not squeamish, so when she told Bargatze that she was going into labor, she was confident and prepared. Bargatze was terrified. Harper’s birth was an emotional moment, so it’s somewhat of a hazy memory for Bargatze. He cried (out of joy) the entire time, and all he thought about is how beautiful his daughter is. When the doctor handed him the scissors, he cut the umbilical cord easily, without a second thought. Bargatze’s mom won the bet, and Bargatze writes, “When my mom found out I did it, she just smiled and said, ‘I told you, I know my son.