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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of bullying, illness, and death.
Joe Spud is a 12-year-old boy who lives in total luxury. He enjoys an incredible array of toys, like a robot dog, a skateboard park, and his own swimming pool and cinema. On his 12th birthday, he is racing his own Formula One car around the track when he crashes it into a tree. At home, his dad simply assures him he can get another car. Joe receives a £1,000,000 for his birthday, and when he complains, his dad gives him another million.
Mr. Spud once worked at a toilet paper factory, rolling toilet paper. After decades of this job, Mr. Spud invented “Freshbum,” a toilet paper that was moist on one side and dry on the other. This fantastic toilet paper sold one billion rolls a day, and Mr. Spud immediately became an incredibly rich man. Eight-year-old Joe’s life changed dramatically: His parents divorced, and he and his dad moved into “Freshbum Towers,” a palatial home with countless bedrooms and bathrooms. After years of living in luxury, Joe is bored and isolated. He is also overweight from overindulging in sweets. After his dad offers him all kinds of presents, Joe reveals his real birthday wish: making a friend.
Joe tells his dad all about his problems at school, where he hasn’t made a single friend. His private school, St. Cuthbert’s, is very expensive, and Joe does not fit in with the “posh” kids who go there. Because of his dad’s toilet paper fortune, the kids call Joe mean names like “Bum boy” and the “Bog roll kid” (26). Joe persuades his dad that he should go to a regular public school, where he won’t tell anyone that he is Joe Spud, son of billionaire Mr. Spud. His father reluctantly agrees.
Joe is disappointed that his dad won’t be taking him out for a birthday dinner since he has a date with a model instead. Mr. Spud tells Joe to have caviar for dinner by himself and then speeds away in his Lamborghini. Joe thinks hopefully about his new school and the possibility of making a friend. He wonders how to hide his vast fortune from his classmates.
Joe is excited to begin at his new school. To avoid drawing attention to his wealth, he does not use his chauffeured Rolls Royce. Instead, Joe walks to school, carrying his books in a plastic bag. When he arrives, he meets a boy named Bob, who says he is glad Joe will be in his class: Now, Bob won’t be the most overweight boy in the class. Joe and Bob bicker over who is more overweight.
Later, the class has to complete a cross-country race. Bob, who has lost his gym clothes, has to wear his tank top and underwear. As the race begins, Joe and Bob both struggle at the back of the group. Joe tries to beat Bob, but a cramp slows him down. Desperate to not come last in front of everyone, Joe bribes Bob with £50 to slow down, allowing Joe to come in second to last and avoid humiliation. At the end of the race, the classmates tease Bob and laugh at him, as they always do. Joe helps Bob up, and he tells Joe that he really should have helped him for free so he wouldn’t be bullied on his first day.
As Bob and Joe walk out of gym class together, Bob wonders if the school bullies—the Grubb twins—took his gym clothes. He shares that he feels guilty taking Joe’s birthday money. Joe insists that it is all right and privately thinks about how he and his dad use £50 notes as Post-It notes and hamster litter. Bob insists that Joe takes the money back.
Joe tells Bob that his dad makes toilet paper, like at his old factory job. Bob reveals that his dad died of cancer, and his mother struggles to provide for him, working two jobs as a cashier and a cleaner. Joe really wishes Bob would keep the money and offers to buy him some chocolate.
Bob and Joe go to the corner store for some chocolate. The owner, Raj, is delighted to see them and offers them all kinds of candy. Raj knows Bob well, and he thinks he recognizes Joe too. As they pay for their sweets with Joe’s £50 note, Raj asks Joe who he is. Raj suddenly remembers seeing Joe in the paper in a story on Britain’s wealthiest children. He finds the page and shows the boys, embarrassing Joe. Bob is astonished to learn that Joe is a billionaire, and Joe explains why he kept it a secret. Raj praises Mr. Spud for being a self-made man, making Joe feel a bit better.
As the boys leave the shop, Joe apologizes for lying to Bob, who understands why he would hide his wealth after being bullied. Bob refuses to take Joe’s money, explaining that he simply liked hanging out with him. The boys share their chocolates and walk back to school.
As Joe and Bob walk to the bus stop, they encounter the Grubb twins, Sue and Dave. Bob explains that people consider them identical twins since no one can tell them apart; they both have short hair, mustaches, and angry faces. The Grubbs taunt Bob, telling him that they threw his gym clothes in the canal. Then they steal his chocolate and put him in a garbage bin as Joe watches helplessly.
Joe helps Bob out of the garbage can. He suggests that Bob ask his mom or teachers for help, but Bob says the Grubbs have threatened to hurt him more if he does that. Joe feels sad for Bob and wonders how he can help. He thinks that if he can stop the Grubbs’ bullying, he could become Bob’s best friend.
Bob and Joe are walking to school when they see the Grubb twins following them. They run away to the dining room, where Bob assures Joe they will be safe. Joe soon finds out why the Grubb twins don’t dare go into the dining room: The school chef Mrs. Trafe only makes horrible food, like gerbils on toast and mouse mousse. Joe and Bob manage to get plain potatoes and sit down to eat them, pretending they like it. When Bob goes to the bathroom, Joe is cornered by the Grubb twins, who demand £1 from him. Before they can grab him, he tells them he wants to make them an offer.
Bob and Joe go to their history lesson, where their teacher, Miss Spite, cruelly punishes Joe for forgetting his homework. Miss Spite is renowned for her mean personality, and generations of students have nicknamed her “the witch.” Joe explains to Miss Spite that he did do his homework, but forgot it, but she assigns him to litter duty. Joe asks if his dad can bring his essay to school, and Miss Spite gives him exactly 15 minutes to produce it—or he will be punished.
At recess, the boys share another chocolate, and Joe dreams of outlandish ways to avoid punishment for forgetting his homework. Bob is astonished when the Grubb twins approach him and apologize for bullying him; they even invite him over for dinner. Joe just shrugs and does not reveal his deal with the Grubbs. They are interrupted when a helicopter suddenly lands in the school field, and Mr. Spud emerges in his golden jumpsuit, which reads “Bum Air.” Mr. Spud embarrasses Joe by finding him and giving him his homework. The other kids are amazed and watch as Mr. Spud gives Joe £500 for his dinner allowance. Joe hates that everyone knows he is wealthy, but he must race back to Miss Spite’s class to reach his deadline.
As Joe reaches the classroom to hand in his homework, the other kids follow him in a crowd, gawking at him. Miss Spite insists he is five seconds late and will still have to do litter duty. As he leaves, the other kids taunt him, calling him “Billionaire Boy” and asking for money. Joe is totally depressed by his failure to hide his wealth.
In the beginning passages, Chapter 1 introduces Joe Spud, a spoiled but insightful boy, who wants the one thing his wealth cannot buy him: genuine friendship. By detailing Joe’s extravagant lifestyle, the chapter begins the theme of Confronting Social Inequality Through Humor. Joe has toys that any child would want and some that can hardly be imagined, like “A waterslide that went from his bedroom into an indoor Olympic-sized swimming pool” (12), “a rollercoaster in the back garden,” and “a Formula One racing car” (14). Mr. Spud’s reaction to Joe crashing his car reveals the family’s casual attitude toward their wealth, as he responds, “Don’t worry Joe, I’ll buy you another one” (18). Exaggerated descriptions of the Spuds’ huge fortune and their attitude toward it give the story a light-hearted tone and make its observations on socioeconomic inequality approachable for young readers.
The text adds to this theme with lengthy description of Joe’s private school education at St. Cuthbert’s, whose curriculum parodies the leisure activities of British upper-class society. His classes include “Scone eating,” “Pheasant shooting,” “Fox-hunting,” “Flower arranging,” “Conversing About the Weather,” and “Being Beastly to Servants class” (29-31). By listing these “ridiculously posh” activities, the book shows how Joe’s wealth has insulated him from the regular world and paints his private school as a sort of alternate reality (29).
To further show how Joe’s riches set him apart from his peers, it is contrasted with the lifestyle of his new friend, Bob, whose widowed mother works two jobs to provide for him. Unlike Joe, Bob has had to grow up fast and become a helper in the household. Bob explains, “Mum’s got another job too. She’s a cleaner at an old people’s home in the evenings. Just to make ends meet. ‘Wow,’ said Joe. ‘Doesn’t she get tired?’ ‘Yeah,’ said Bob. ‘So I do a lot of the cleaning and stuff’” (63). Since Bob doesn’t have the same leisure time or expensive toys as Joe, he enjoys the simple pleasures like spending time with friends and sharing chocolate bars. By contrasting Joe and Bob’s very different lifestyles, the early chapters establish how socioeconomic class influences each child’s life. They understand the world through different lenses—abundance for Joe, scarcity for Bob. However, they share some characteristics, too. Both are raised by single parents, and both spend most of their time alone. Both kids are also kind. Joe’s privilege hasn’t made him a snob, and Bob’s hardship hasn’t made him bitter. Finally, they are both social outcasts, bullied for being overweight and having timid personalities. These similarities underscore that wealth doesn’t define a person’s character, even if it changes significant aspects of their lives.
Joe and Bob’s friendship leads into another of the story’s themes: The Irreplaceable Value of Genuine Friendship. Joe’s decision to leave St. Cuthbert’s and seek out friendships shows he has realized that his fortune makes it hard for him to connect with his peers. When he plays with his Formula One car on his birthday, “[h]e pictured himself going round the racetrack all on his own, racing against himself” (25). This deep loneliness unfortunately cannot be filled by his wealth, despite Mr. Spud’s best efforts.
Joe’s friendship with Bob immediately makes him happier, giving him a friend to have fun with and confide in. When Bob learns Joe’s secret, he assures Joe that he does not want money, just friendship, which cements their new connection. When Joe asks him why, Bob replies, “Because I don’t care about your money. I just liked hanging out with you today” (74-75). This is a new experience for Joe, who is used to mediating relationships through money, especially when it comes to showing affection.
Joe’s rejection of his father’s wealth and his dedicated pursuit of friendship establishes another important theme in the story, Material Riches Versus Social Wealth. By showing how Joe’s material things end up making him feel bored and lonely, the early chapters suggest that happiness based on wealth is fleeting. The satisfaction of real friendship or family relationships is much deeper and long-lasting. For instance, when Joe receives a birthday check for £2,000,000, he finds the present dull, as he already has money. He tells his father, “I mean, I’ve got loads of money already […] ’Boring! Boring! Boring!” (24-25). Stamping in frustration, Joe acts like typical spoiled child—but he doesn’t want a bigger, better present. Chatting and sharing chocolate with Bob makes Joe feel included and sparks his hope that they can become “best friends” (89), which is something money can’t buy. Joe’s excitement about his new friend shows that social wealth is much more important to him than money or toys.



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