45 pages • 1-hour read
Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting
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Key Figures
Pamela Druckerman (the Author)
Pamela Druckerman is a journalist, writer, and documentarian. Besides Bringing Up Bébé, she has written the nonfiction books Lust in Translation (2007), French Children Don’t Throw Food (2012), There Are No Grown Ups (2018), and children’s book Paris by Phone (2021).
Druckerman wrote Bringing Up Bébé when she moved to Paris, France, to be with her now-husband Simon. In France, Druckerman experienced severe culture shock. Upon having her daughter, Bean, Druckerman observed that French parents have a different approach to raising children, which seems to lead to calmer, happier, and more well-rounded children. Druckerman made it her mission to document what distinguishes French parenting from the American style, driven by “a blend of journalistic curiosity and maternal desperation” (7).
As a first-time mother, Druckerman made the effort to talk to as many people as possible about their views on parenting, interviewing French and American mothers and fathers, as well as various childrearing experts. Druckerman also performed extensive research on statistical data and research studies to back up her anecdotal observations.
Druckerman is a mother dedicated to raising autonomous, open, and agreeable children. She worked hard to implement French strategies she was not used to, including techniques like letting Bean cry it out at night, refraining from letting her snack throughout the day, and forgiving the occasional small act of misbehavior. As a result, Bean flourished into a confident, multilingual girl. Druckerman decided to share her experience to provide other parents, especially American parents, with an alternative that could resolve some of the typical frustrations that parents experience.
Simon Druckerman
Druckerman’s husband is a British man who finds joy in living in other countries and experiencing other cultures. Druckerman met Simon in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and then moved to Paris, France, to be with him. Simon loves the culture and customs of France, while Druckerman takes a long time to adjust to them.
After the couple has children, Druckerman describes Simon as continuing to be mildly distant/inaccessible, rarely laughing or smiling, and “in a state of perpetual irony” (16)—traits he jokingly refers to as his Britishness, and which now make Druckerman edgy because of the stress of taking care of Bean and the twins. She often cannot tell what Simon is thinking or how he’s feeling, so she feels insecure in their relationship. Only when Druckerman befriended French women and heard their views on men and relationships did her perspective shift. Druckerman saw that her ways of interacting with Simon (often pointing out his mistakes, asking him what he’s thinking) were damaging the relationship, so she tried to be more easygoing.
In the book, Druckerman rarely mentions Simon’s parenting abilities but does note that Bean is the only person who can make Simon laugh until he cries. The book as a whole tends to adopt what Druckerman believes is the French attitude toward the role of fathers: They are less naturally inclined to childcare and housekeeping and so should not be expected to fulfill those duties equitably.
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