Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts on Aging as a Woman

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of gender discrimination.

In Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old, Shields speaks directly to American women in midlife, challenging them to confront the gendered ageism that permeates media and society. She highlights how the media’s portrayal of aging women influences their interactions with others and their own self-perception. Many women internalize these messages, believing that growing older makes them invisible, unattractive, or less valuable. Shields’s memoir serves as both a personal account of her journey into middle age and a guide for women navigating the changes that come with it. While she acknowledges the challenges of aging, such as new health concerns, she also celebrates the freedom, confidence, and opportunities that come with experience. By embracing these aspects, women can live fulfilling, dynamic lives.

Contemporary American culture glorifies female youth, equating it with beauty and desirability while often rendering older women invisible. These societal norms shape how women see themselves and limit their aspirations and interactions. When older women are absent from media representation, they absorb the message that they, too, should fade into the background. On the other hand, when youth is idealized as the pinnacle of female worth, aging becomes something to be feared and fought against.

The media’s impact on women begins early, with the hyper-sexualization of young girls. Social media has exacerbated this issue, creating unattainable beauty standards that follow women throughout their lives. Shields herself was a victim of this phenomenon, with her body becoming a subject of public scrutiny from a young age. This intense focus on her appearance negatively affected her early experiences with intimacy, leaving her inhibited and ashamed.

As women age, they face contradictory and often unrealistic expectations. They are pressured to maintain a youthful appearance yet criticized if they pursue cosmetic enhancements. Meanwhile, men’s perceptions of women are shaped by these ideals, often leading to disappointment or even resentment when reality does not align with their expectations. Shields recounts an encounter where, upon mentioning her birth year (1965), a man’s demeanor shifted. Realizing that she was approaching 60, he seemed unsettled, as if unwilling to reconcile the youthful image he once had of her with the reality of time passing. Shields suggests that these interactions are why society resists the idea of an aging female celebrity: She serves as an unwelcome reminder of aging itself, something that American culture encourages people to fear and avoid.

Yet Shields challenges these social norms by embracing her age and prioritizing her own fulfillment. However, her perspective is not always well received. A glance at her Instagram comments reveals criticism and unsolicited advice when she posts bare-faced photos, underscoring the lingering discomfort that society has with women aging on their own terms. Still, many women are reclaiming their visibility, using social media to celebrate their graying hair and lived experiences. Shields recognizes that while she and others have learned to embrace aging, the rest of society is still catching up.