Winfrey and Brooks believe that interpersonal connection is crucial for living a happier life. Without such connection, they argue, individuals may experience fleeting moments of satisfaction but will remain unable to create long-term happiness. For instance, the authors propose that enjoyment is one of three components that contributes to a happier life, and they define enjoyment in contrast to pleasure. In their view, enjoyment is essentially pleasure in concert with consciousness and communion; without these other two elements, they contend that pleasure is merely “animal” (9) and can even lead to addiction. As such, Brooks and Winfrey uphold interpersonal connection (communion) as an essential component of happiness. In this context, connection transforms what would normally be a transient, primal feeling into an intentional building block of a happier life.

Brooks and Winfrey also advise readers to focus less on themselves and more on others in order to become happier. This outward focus implies an emphasis on interpersonal connection. The authors acknowledge that self-absorption is part of human nature, but that countering this tendency helps to increase happiness. As the text states, “Focusing on ourselves is the most normal thing in the world. Yet this doesn’t help us get happier […] With knowledge and focus, an outward focus on life brings major happiness rewards” (76). This argument suggests that happiness does not exist in a vacuum; instead, it involves engaging with the outside world. While Winfrey and Brooks often highlight Individual Agency as a Key to Happiness, they do acknowledge that interpersonal relationships lead to happiness and that individuals should not isolate themselves. These two themes intersect as Brooks and Winfrey exhort individuals to take personal responsibility for shifting their relationship to the outside world.

In support of this view, Winfrey and Brooks dedicate two chapters to the importance of friendships and familial relationships. They see both aspects as being vitally important to the long-term sustainability of happiness. While discussing the importance of friendships, the authors declare, “Without friends, no one can thrive. This is the clear conclusion from decades of research” (126). When discussing family members, they stress the importance of addressing conflict and improving communication in order to maintain relationships with one’s family. When discussing both friendships and family, Brooks and Winfrey even go so far as to suggest that these relationships are more important than differences in values. For example, they argue that if one’s family members do not accept one’s “lifestyle choices,” that is still not a valid cause for estrangement. Instead, they contend that many people “can still coexist permanently with these differences of opinion without feeling hurt or angry, precisely because they don’t expect anyone else to change their mind” (106-7). Despite any clashes that may arise within families, Winfrey and Brooks argue that when it comes to maintaining relationships with family members, “giving up is almost always a mistake” (124).

The authors hold comparable views on friendships, denouncing the phenomenon of friendships that break apart due to differences in values. Instead, they insist that strong differences of political or religious opinion should not stand in the way of maintaining personal connections. Brooks and Winfrey extend a similar logic to romantic relationships, saying that “[t]oo many couples get hung up on differences that are frankly ridiculous, like political issues” (111). The authors’ advice to disregard political differences underscores their argument that interpersonal relationships are vital for happiness. According to Build the Life You Want, these relationships can and should be pursued even when people are faced with fundamental disagreements over deeply held values and beliefs.