Bully

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of bullying, sexual violence, emotional abuse, child abuse, and cursing.

“Ten different scenarios ran through my head of what I should do. What if I elbowed him in the gut? What if I threw my drink in his face? What if I took the sink hose and…? Oh, never mind. In my dreams, I was much braver. In my dreams, I might take an ice cube and do things God didn’t intend a sixteen year-old to do just to see if I could make his cool demeanor falter. What if? What if?”

This quote illustrates the fact that Tate’s mental processes often conflict with her reality. She has strong emotions and often feels anxious when she overthinks the possible outcomes of a situation. To combat this anxiety, she puts on a “tough” persona and eventually takes her decisive actions too far, bullying those who once bullied her and illustrating The Cyclical Nature of Abuse. The quote uses repetition to convey her rising desperation and show that she feels like aggression is her only option.

“There was no way I was getting sucked into any more drama with this guy, damnit.”

In this ironic statement, Tate attempts to reject any further interactions with Jared, but when the complete opposite happens, Tate finds herself increasingly entangled in Jared’s world and even begins falling in love with him despite his ongoing abuse. Although this shift from enemies to lovers aligns with one of the more common tropes in the romance genre, its appearance in a teen novel delivers the problematic message that abuse is somehow an acceptable basis for a romantic relationship.

“Play the game. I forgot if those were K.C.’s words or mine, and I didn’t care.”

The advice of others often runs through Tate’s mind along with her own personal mantras. As the abuse that she endures compels her to become a different person who more closely resembles the bully she loathes, the less she cares about the consequences of her own increasingly abusive behavior toward others.