“There was no way I was getting sucked into any more drama with this guy, damnit.”

In this ironic statement, Tate attempts to reject any further interactions with Jared, but when the complete opposite happens, Tate finds herself increasingly entangled in Jared’s world and even begins falling in love with him despite his ongoing abuse. Although this shift from enemies to lovers aligns with one of the more common tropes in the romance genre, its appearance in a teen novel delivers the problematic message that abuse is somehow an acceptable basis for a romantic relationship.

“Play the game. I forgot if those were K.C.’s words or mine, and I didn’t care.”

The advice of others often runs through Tate’s mind along with her own personal mantras. As the abuse that she endures compels her to become a different person who more closely resembles the bully she loathes, the less she cares about the consequences of her own increasingly abusive behavior toward others. At this point in the narrative, Tate is fully involved in the psychological games that Jared is playing—ultimately to her detriment.

“It was almost as if I had no desire to be silent anymore, and my actions were inviting more trouble. What was I doing? And why wasn’t I stopping?”

The barrage of internal rhetorical questions in this passage indicates that Tate is beginning to doubt herself and the reasons for her actions. However, she does not become alarmed enough to reverse course, even though she knows that her actions are wrong. As she continues to lash out at others, her behavior illustrates the cyclical nature of abuse, as she feels empowered by asserting dominance over the same people who once dominated her.

“The idea of present-day Jared as human was incomprehensible to me. He was driven, confident, and severe. That’s the only side of him I’d seen since we were fourteen. I hadn’t seen him happy in years, and I thought for sure he’d be pleased as punch to be rid of me for a year.”

This quote uses contrast to emphasize Jared’s emotional transformation from an open, joyful person into someone who is distant and hardened, and as Tate will later learn, his transformation is born of deep trauma and reflects an extreme version of The Harsh Lessons of Adolescence, especially when these difficult years are complicated by parental abuse. Tate’s description of Jared as “driven, confident, and severe” illustrates how trauma has shaped his personality, creating a barrier between him and the world. Tate’s assumption that Jared would be “pleased as punch” also emphasizes her emotional insecurity.

“The air left my lungs as I tried to ignore the tingling sensation in my core. It’s best to just look him in the eye. We hadn’t been this close to each other in a long time, even though we’d been nose to nose a lot since my return.”

This quote makes use of a common expression (“nose to nose”) to illustrate the difference between being in conflict and being close to another person. Tate and Jared have been in constant conflict, but when Jared begins physically approaching Tate on multiple occasions, their physical closeness gives rise to conflicting feelings of desire that complicate their antagonistic dynamic and blur the line between assault and consent. Tate refers to the air leaving her lungs because Jared makes her nervous, but she is also physically attracted to him and struggles to reconcile these conflicting emotions.

“His shiny brown hair was a mess.

I loved that.

His chocolate eyes glowed with confidence and mischief.

I loved that.

His toned arms and chest just made me wonder what his skin felt like.

I loved that.

He made me forget how awful he was.

I hated that.”

Taking on a deliberately rhythmic quality, this passage emphasizes the internal conflict within Tate as she finds herself simultaneously drawn to Jared’s physical appearance and repelled by the pain that he has caused her. The repetition of “I loved that” followed by “I hated that” reflects this paradox and shows that attraction and resentment are in constant conflict in their relationship.

“Taking the gun to my bedroom that night, I wasn’t sure what I was protecting myself from. A damn gun wasn’t going to keep those brown eyes out of my dreams.”

This quote uses the gun as a symbol of Tate’s attempt to regain control of her life and protect herself from external malice, but her tone of defeat also suggests that she is fighting a losing battle. The mention of “brown eyes” invokes an underlying image of surveillance, suggesting that Jared’s lingering presence remains a constant in Tate’s life. Even as she tries to protect herself from his physical presence, her emotional attachment to him remains, and she cannot protect herself from her own emotions.

“Jared indulged in my misery like it was candy. He had fed me to the wolves time and time again, reveling in the unhappiness he caused. Jared, my friend, was completely gone, leaving a cold monster in his place.”

In this quote, Tate uses simile and metaphor to describe Jared’s transformation from a friend into a nearly unrecognizable enemy. The phrase “fed me to the wolves” communicates an image of betrayal and abandonment in a cruel world, and she emphasizes the contrast between the “friend” she once knew and the “cold monster” he has become. When she describes him “indulg[ing] in [her] misery like it [i]s candy,” this wording emphasizes the visceral delight that he takes in inflicting cruelty on someone he once cared for deeply.

“My emotions fell into a relaxed lividness.”

This contradiction employs an oxymoron, juxtaposing the conflicting emotions of ease and rage in order to emphasize the habitual nature of Tate’s ongoing conflict with Jared. Faced with the intractability of the situation, she feels both calm and furious at the same time. The scene also illustrates the contradictory nature of adolescent angst.

“The urge to look at him was strong. I wanted to see his eyes so badly that it felt like an invisible hand was forcing my face to turn to him. I wanted him to see me. I wanted him to see us.”

This quote showcases Tate’s intense desire for connection with Jared as she longs for him to truly understand and recognize her. The use of the phrase “invisible hand” as a simile for inevitability suggests that she has little control over the intensity of her emotional attachment to him. The repetition of the phrase “I wanted” emphasizes her desperation and vulnerability, reflecting her need for validation from an unsafe source.

“You made me giddy with expectation, just like a symphonic rainstorm. You were a tempest in the sun, the thunder in a boring, cloudless sky.”

This metaphor-rich description uses the storm motif to compare Jared to a powerful force in Tate’s life. The simile “like a symphonic rainstorm” conveys the intensity and complexity of her emotions, while her mention of “thunder in a boring, cloudless sky” creates a dichotomy of beauty and chaos. The use of nature imagery reinforces their innate connection.

“Madman had been collateral damage in Jared’s and my fallout. As much as I loved the dog, it just seemed like he should be with Jared. A few things had been like that after he came from that summer away. One of our favorite hangouts was a fish pond at Eagle Point Park. When Jared and I stopped being friends, he stopped going there.”

This reflection on Jared’s dog symbolizes the damage caused by the breakdown of Tate and Jared’s relationship. The dog, the care for which the two once shared, thus becomes a symbol of loss until the dog’s loyalty to Tate later indicates a positive direction in The Challenge of Repairing Relationships. Likewise, the fishpond at Eagle Point Park emphasizes the current emotional distance between the characters, as it is a place of formerly happy memories—a shrine to a more innocent childhood. Jared’s decision to stop visiting the park highlights the emotional divide between him and Tate.

“My body was constricted between his arms in back of me and his torso in front. His grip was tight, enough to keep me still but not enough to hurt. I tried to twist and wiggle my way free, but he only jerked me harder against him and tightened his hold.”

This struggle—and borderline assault—illustrates the deeply problematic power dynamic in Tate and Jared’s relationship, as well as Jared’s tendency to bully and dominate Tate. As Tate describes her body being “constricted” between Jared’s arms, her sense of being trapped is pointedly emphasized. Her struggle to escape the increasing pressure of his grip injects the implicit threat of sexual violence into the scene, rendering the pair’s interactions all the more fraught. By invoking the act of struggle and the suggestion of outright assault, the author deeply complicates the novel’s existing conflicts, and this scene renders the pair’s ultimate reconciliation a morally ambiguous one at best.

“A thousand questions filled my head, but I pushed them away. No. One thing was certain: Jared couldn’t be trusted. He hadn’t even begun to make amends, and I was nauseous with humiliation.

That wouldn’t happen again.”

Tate’s internal conflict is clear as she struggles with her feelings for Jared while simultaneously feeling betrayed. The use of the word “No” reflects her resolve to maintain her boundaries, even though this resolve does not outlast her puerile desire for him. Her emphatic statement that “Jared c[a]n’t be trusted” highlights the emotional consequences of his past actions and reflects her knowledge that she should ideally refuse to condone his behavior.

“While my body definitely reacted positively to him, my brain practiced a zero tolerance policy…from now on.”

The final elliptical in this quote creates a contrast between Tate’s physical attraction to Jared and her determination to resist him. The phrase “zero tolerance policy” suggests a conscious decision to set boundaries, but she is also clearly influenced by a more visceral sense of desire. Her thoughts demonstrate her ongoing internal struggle as she grapples with the contradiction between her emotions and her reason.

“My thighs, dampened with sweat, grated across the seat as I lifted my leg to push in the clutch. I lightly applied the brakes in preparation for rounding the corner.”

The physical sensations of sweat and movement emphasize the tension and anticipation that Tate feels as she engages with Jared despite the problems that lie between them. In this context, her grip on the clutch and brake symbolizes her attempt to regain control over her life. However, the detailed imagery of her body’s reaction to the act of driving the car draws an implicit comparison for Tate’s physical proximity to (and awareness of) Jared himself. The scene also serves as a metaphor for Tate’s internal process of navigating the relationship, suggesting that she seeks direction and control amid inherently unpredictable circumstances.

“Why? Why couldn’t I just like this guy? I was frustrated with myself. He seemed decent and goal-oriented. Why wasn’t he turning my insides to goo or making me daydream?”

This moment of self-reflection shows Tate’s frustration with her own emotions as she fails to dredge up any sense of attraction to an alternative romantic prospect. The use of the phrase “turning my insides to goo” emphasizes the emotional intensity and romantic idealism she is searching for, but it also illustrates her struggle to reconcile her desires with reality. As she questions her own feelings, the novel showcases her inner conflict, where logic and emotion do not match. Tate’s disappointment with herself hints that she is developing a deeper understanding of her emotional needs and the challenges she faces in navigating them.

“The tires screeched as he rounded another turn, and we drifted into the other lane. I was breathing as fast as the car was speeding now, I was sure. We were going to hit something or flip over!”

The chaotic imagery in this quote heightens the sense of danger and urgency that Tate feels. The screeching tires and the car drifting into the other lane symbolize the reckless, uncontrollable nature of Jared’s emotional state, while the sensations of rapid breathing and the fear of impending collision show Tate’s emotional turmoil. The use of car imagery parallels Tate’s internal conflict, as she is motivated by strong feelings that she cannot fully understand or control. This scene also serves as a metaphor for the unpredictability of her relationship with Jared.

“This is everything I needed. Everything I wanted—on me, around me, inside of me.”

In this moment, Tate fully embraces her desires, expressing a sense of completeness and fulfillment in her relationship with Jared. The repetition of the word “everything” emphasizes the depth of her emotional and physical longing, as well as her surrender to the attraction that she has been fighting. The phrase “on me, around me, inside of me” conveys the all-encompassing nature of her feelings and marks a moment of acceptance. As she lets go of her resistance and embraces her desires, the moment shows her new understanding of her own needs and emotional vulnerabilities.

“The picture was of the torso of a boy or a young man, but the skin was bloodied and bruised. Blue and purple marks covered the chest and ribs, while cuts spanned the entire area from his stomach to his neck.

Oh, my God.

Someone didn’t just hurt this kid. They tried to kill him.”

In this graphic description of the physical abuse that Jared experienced at his father’s hands, Tate is finally made aware of the extent of Jared’s suffering. The description is intensely detailed, heightening the emotional intensity and anguish of her discovery. Because the story is narrated in first person, Tate is initially unsure of what she is seeing, and her sudden realization leads to a new understanding that Jared has been dealing with levels of trauma far beyond her own experience.

“His breath was hot, and he tasted like rain. Like a memory that I wanted to wrap myself up in forever.”

Tate references the rain, which reappears often as a motif in the story. In this case, the rain imagery is used to emphasize her attraction to Jared and his intense energy. Tate also compares Jared to a safe memory, referring to their childhood bond as friends, when his presence made her feel protected rather than threatened. This return to what used to be represents the “full circle” of Jared and Tate’s relationship.

“He pinned me with a knowing smile, because we both knew that he had just made me very happy.”

After Tate and Jared become intimate with one another, they share a typical relaxing moment and enjoy the growing love between them. However, Tate’s description of Jared “pinning” her with a smile refers to their previously contentious relationship. In this way, she embraces their newer, healthier relationship and actively declines to hold a grudge for his past mistreatment of her.

“You know that expression—walking on cloud nine? Well, that was me as I strolled down the halls on Monday.”

This quote deliberately embraces a cliché to describe Tate’s blissful emotional state after finally connecting with Jared and resolving their animosity. The irony of this statement is that Tate’s world is still going to fall apart one more time because the spiteful Piper is eager to destroy Tate’s chances with Jared. Although Tate’s day starts off well, the feeling doesn’t last, and this turbulence reflects the unpredictability of adolescent emotions.