Bully

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death, bullying, sexual violence, emotional abuse, and child abuse.

Tate is a 17-year-old girl who has spent years being bullied by her former childhood best friend, Jared. She is deeply hurt over this shift in their interactions and grieves the loss of their close friendship, which first began when they were both children and helped one another through some of their darkest moments. (For example, when Tate was 10, Jared helped her overcome the grief of her mother’s death.)

However, their relationship deteriorated when, unbeknownst to Tate, a 14-year-old Jared visited his father for the summer and endured severe abuse at the man’s hands. Jared came back feeing angry at the world and chose to lash out at Tate. Ever since that summer, she has been plagued by his cruel behavior, which she has no basis for understanding. She wishes that she and Jared could rekindle their bond or perhaps even develop a deeper connection, but after he bullies her in a very public arena, she goes to France for a year to escape him, needing to gain some distance from the drama. 

When she returns, she is a different person. In the process of standing up for herself and setting firm boundaries, she temporarily goes too far in the opposite direction and even becomes something of a bully herself for a time. Despite her emotional turmoil, she is a talented and strong individual who excels in running, academics, and competitive racing, all of which contribute to her independence.

Tate’s internal conflict is central to her character development, as she is constantly torn between her feelings for Jared and her anguish over his cruel behavior. She shifts between wanting to forgive him and refusing to let him win their ongoing power struggle, and it is clear that her own sense of self-worth conflicts with her desire to show him forgiveness. When Jared asks Tate to drive his car in the race, her reflection demonstrates this dynamic:

I wanted to drive his car badly. I wanted to show all of these people what I was made of. I wanted to show Jared that I was worth something. And it was that thought that made me want to walk away. I didn’t have anything to prove to him. I knew my worth, and I didn’t need his approval (166).

This quote shows her inner growth because she recognizes that her value is not connected to Jared’s opinion. However, when she agrees to drive the car after all, it is also clear that she has not managed to break free of his influence. However, only when he reveals the reasons for his behavior and resolves to improve does Tate allow herself to fall deeply in love with him, embracing The Harsh Lessons of Adolescence and allowing the two of them to move forward together.