45 pages • 1-hour read
Bully
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Themes
The Harsh Lessons of Adolescence
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death, bullying, emotional abuse, child abuse, substance use, and cursing.
In Bully, Tate’s journey explores the need to develop emotional resilience and set boundaries with one’s peers, both of which are important lessons characteristic of the adolescent years—a period fraught with conflict, emotional intensity, drama, and major life decisions. From the outset, Tate faces relentless bullying from Jared, her former best friend, who has transformed into her bully after spending a traumatic summer away with his abusive father. The years of emotional and psychological anguish that Tate has endured because of this reversal are also complicated by the fact that she does not understand the reasons for Jared’s transformation. Burdened by her memories of a kinder Jared, she has delayed a full confrontation with him for years, instead relying on drastic forms of avoidance—such as fleeing to a study abroad program in France. Only when she decides to face the issue head-on and takes steps to protect herself does she finally learn the hard lesson that she is not obligated to tolerate bullying and abuse.
Tate’s inner resolve becomes apparent when she punches Jared’s malicious sidekick, Madoc, after he harasses her at a party. Although her own response is problematically couched in violence, it nonetheless marks a pivotal moment in which she reclaims her autonomy and confronts the injustices that she has faced at the hands of the two bullies. As she finally acknowledges her own strength and takes decisive action, she starts to think differently; instead of avoiding drama and conflict, she finds herself confronting it directly. This change relates to the internal conflict between her desire for peace and the necessity of standing up for herself.
Tate further demonstrates her new emotional resilience as she navigates the complexities of her relationships and deals with the inner struggle to let go of past anger and hurt. Initially, she feels such a sense of empowerment upon striking back at her tormentors that she runs the risk of emulating their behavior and becoming that which she despises most: a bully. By seeking petty forms of revenge against Jared, such as cutting power to his house or delivering cutting remarks about his family dynamics, she indulges her desire to hurt him just as badly as he has hurt her in the past. However, she eventually recognizes that holding onto these feelings only prevents her from growing as a person. This complex, messy process of emotional release proves crucial to her healing and personal development, especially when she learns to back away from the treacherous territory of seeking revenge.
While Jared’s behavior serves as the main source of conflict that teaches Tate harsh lessons, he has also been forced to navigate a barrage of traumatic injustices in his own life. The author introduces these issues to provide a deeper context for Jared’s bullying behavior and examine how bullies become bullies in the first place. Raised in an environment of abuse and neglect, Jared has resorted to aggression and outright violence as maladaptive ways of dealing with his unresolved trauma. Despite his painful past and present transgressions, he eventually strives to move forward in a healthier way by seeking forgiveness from Tate and explaining his past. Even when Tate resists his explanations, he persists in trying to show her who he really is, employing symbolic gestures like setting up lights in their shared tree to signal his desire to heal their bond. His journey highlights the idea that true emotional resilience requires making the effort to heal and change. While Tate’s resilience is characterized by her ability to confront and overcome external challenges, Jared’s inner strength arises from his struggle to come to grips with his internal demons. Together, the two teenagers’ stories demonstrate that the myriad challenges of adolescence compel young people to overcome their individual weaknesses and embrace their capacity for growth.
The Challenge of Repairing Relationships
This theme takes center stage from the very beginning as Tate laments Jared’s cruel behavior and longs for him to remember their past friendship. Her deep desire for emotional connection and understanding manifests in a variety of ways amid her ongoing conflicts with her former friend, seasoning even their most virulent interactions with a distinct undercurrent of bitter sadness and regret. The author further punctuates these issues by providing brief glimpses into the closeness and trust that the two shared during their younger years. With the strategic inclusion of these interludes, the author hints that the pair’s bond, while deeply damaged, has not yet been fully severed and may yet be repaired.
Among the more powerful glimpses that the author provides of the teens’ past friendship is the description of Jared’s support after the death of Tate’s mother. Even in the midst of her current anger toward Jared, Tate acknowledges the deep kindness that he once showed her, noting that his presence at the cemetery was comforting and stabilizing. As she morosely reflects, “Nothing hurt if I knew I had you” (132). Her memories of his act of kindness contrast sharply with Jared’s current behavior, and this strategic juxtaposition throws her cognitive dissonance into sharp relief and helps to explain her years of tolerance in the face of his abuse.
While Tate deals with the complexities of her and Jared’s relationship as it stands today, she remains torn between her memories of who he used to be and the pain of the more recent past, and she ultimately harbors a desire to reconnect and even to love Jared despite his flaws. This sentiment becomes clear when she poetically describes him as “a tempest in the sun, the thunder in a boring, cloudless sky” (131). Her words emphasize the intensity of Jared’s effect on her life and emotions, and while their dynamic is far from healthy, they each go through a period of extreme conflict, harassing each other in an awkward push-pull dynamic until they both give in and address the deeper conflicts at work.
Thus, only during brief moments of vulnerability does Jared show his true feelings, as when Tate finds him drinking alcohol and standing in the rain or when he seeks her help in the race and admits to “needing” her support in order to win. Tate’s willingness to aid him during these times signifies her capacity for forgiveness and the potential for them both to repair their relationship. These scenes also suggest that her dominant emotion toward Jared is love, not hate. However, Tate’s resistance to her kinder feelings highlights her need for trust and assurance before she accepts the possibility of rekindling their friendship. Despite her desire to heal the past, she fully realizes that she is risking the possibility of engaging with an abuser. As the story progresses, Tate gradually gains a greater sense of control, especially when Jared seeks her forgiveness and affection, but her refusal to immediately grant these requests demonstrates her desire for genuine change and mutual respect.
When Tate enters Jared’s room, seeking answers about his life, this decision leads to an encounter that ultimately brings them closer. They nearly have sex before being interrupted, and this distinct shift in their dynamic indicates the strengthening romantic undercurrents of their relationship despite the seriousness of their unresolved issues. This moment signifies a turning point in which both characters confront their feelings and consider the complexities of their relationship. Despite her lingering doubts, Tate chooses to work toward forgiveness, recognizing the importance of healing. The culmination of Tate and Jared’s journey is shown in the closing line, “The thunder rumbled in the night, reminding me of my monologue and how Jared and I had come full circle. We were friends again, and also more” (313). This statement reflects the evolution of their relationship from one of animosity to one of understanding, love, and forgiveness.
The Cyclical Nature of Abuse
The transformation of Jared from a childhood friend into a tormentor represents an exploration of the complexities of human behavior and the factors that contribute to bullying and abuse, and these dynamics also spread to the connections between other characters as this group of teenagers struggles to come to grips with their various conflicts. For example, when Tate responds to Piper’s deliberate provocations by physically assaulting the girl, her own behavior reveals the cyclical nature of pain and retaliation. Her actions, driven by hurt and jealousy, mirror the dynamics of bullying, in which individuals perpetuate harm as a means of coping with their own emotional turmoil. Distraught by the complex consequences of Jared’s mistreatment of her, Tate begins lashing out, often disproportionately to the situation at hand, and her erratic behavior shows that her actions come from years of hurt, rather than arising from the external conflict of that particular moment.
However, the reasons behind Jared’s acts of cruelty stand as the most prominent examples of the cycle of abuse. When he was only 14 years old, he was forced to endure a disastrous summer visit in which his father subjected him and his half-brother to a range of criminal abuses. In the aftermath of this traumatic situation, he allowed his deep-seated anger and pain to manifest as resentment, jealousy, and anger toward Tate, who—unlike him—enjoys the benefits of a stable, supportive family. As he finally explains to Tate years later, “I was angry after the summer with my father and hated everyone; I never wanted to hurt you, and was jealous of all the attention you got” (132). Although his reasoning does not excuse his actions, it does provide greater insight into his motivations, revealing that his actions stem from feelings of inadequacy because of the abuse and neglect that he experienced. His father’s severe abuse and his mother’s emotional abandonment left him feeling lost and ignored, and as a coping mechanism, he began to lash out at people he once cared for.
While this information is the key to allowing Tate and Jared to heal their bond, it also provides vital context for the novel’s broader messages: identifying the underlying causes of bullying and stressing the need for empathy, prevention, and early intervention. When Jared finally admits to his jealousy and anger, this pivotal moment explains the origins of his bullying behavior. His acknowledgment that he never wanted to hurt Tate but was overwhelmed by his emotions sheds light on the complexities of his actions, underscoring the reality that bullies are often products of their circumstances and traumas.
The ruinous effects of such bullying can be seen in the pair’s abrupt shift from friends to enemies as their once-precious bond was broken, replaced by animosity and distrust. Notably, even Tate’s reactions show signs of the cyclical nature of abuse; as she responds to Jared’s behavior, she bullies K.C. and indulges her sudden desire to inflict harm on others as a means of coping. Her emotional monologue articulates the depths of the hurt that is driving her actions, as she says of Jared, “You were my tempest, my thundercloud, my tree in the downpour. I loved all those things, and I loved you. But now? You’re a fucking drought” (132). Her words reflect the transformation of love into hatred and despair, and even at the novel’s conclusion, Tate only forgives Jared because she cannot bring herself to discard her old feelings of love based on years of friendship.
Thus, the story suggests that bullying is not an inherent part of one’s personality; instead, it is a learned behavior that is influenced by many different factors, including family dynamics, emotional neglect, and personal insecurities. Tate’s and Jared’s journeys demonstrate the importance of addressing the root causes of bullying in order to enact change and healing. Their story serves as a reminder that while the scars of bullying may remain, they do not have to define the future.
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