Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil

María is nearly 18, and her hair, despite her mother’s best efforts, is even more vibrantly red. María notices that men begin to give her more attention. As she sits atop the stable, Felipe tells her that she needs to come home. She finds her mother and Rafa waiting in the house with Andrés de Guzmán, Viscount of Olivares and knight of the Order of Santiago. María bows to him, and Andrés tells her that she needn’t bow to her betrothed. Her family seems shocked, but María is not. She’s always known she’d be forced to marry, so she’s plotted to make sure her marriage takes her somewhere new. She had seen Andrés riding at the front of a caravan a month ago, and María lured him into the shadows of the church. His hunger for her was palpable as he wrapped her hair around his fingers, but María remained chaste enough for him to realize he’d have to marry her to touch more than her hair.

María plays coy and acts surprised, even asking what would happen if she refused the betrothal, which Rafa tells Andrés is an example of María’s peculiar humor. A fortnight later, Andrés returns a caravan of goods and gifts for the wedding. María’s mother brushes her hair the night before the wedding and tells her that it is better to bend than break, but María questions why she must be the one to bend. María and Andrés marry on the steps of the town cathedral, but they do not linger at the feast. They leave for the Olivares estate, and María says goodbye to her family, whom she will never see again.

Alice attends a party at the co-op house with her suitemates Rachel, Jana, and Lizbeth. Lizbeth is from Kent, and Alice thinks the university paired them together because they are both from Great Britain. Alice is Scottish, and Lizbeth had insulted her by calling her “pastoral” on the day they met. Rachel thinks Alice’s accent is reminiscent of the show Outlander.

At the party, the girls separate, leaving Alice alone. Alice wishes her sister Catty was there to make her socialize, but Catty is back in Scotland. Alice sees some other girls from her floor, including a girl named Hannah. She remembers an awkward conversation with one of the girls, in which Alice failed to decide which boy was most handsome. Alice is gay, but she worries the other girls will react negatively to her sexuality, so she hasn’t told anyone. Someone bumps Alice, and she spills some of her drink on her pants, which she takes as an excuse to sneak off to the bathroom of an ensuite bedroom alone. She tries to tell herself that she’s having fun, but she’s not. She keeps waiting for her life to begin, afraid and caught in between who she is and who she wants to be. She resolves to be a new version of herself, a more fearless version. She leaves the bathroom and sees a girl on the bed.

The girl on the bed has hair that looks violet in the low light of the bedroom. When the girl gets up and moves toward her, Alice has the urge to kiss her, but realizes she’s blocking the bathroom. Alice lets the girl by and then flees back into the party. She hits a joint and downs a couple of shots in an attempt to be New Alice. The girl from the bed asks her to dance. Alice introduces herself and gets the girl’s name: Lottie. Before they kiss, the fire alarm goes off and the lights turn on. Everyone leaves the co-op and stands outside in the rain. Alice begins to sober up, and she has a memory of being home in Hoxburn, standing in the rain to make the voices in her head go quiet and her body relax. She exits the memory and finds herself in the street outside the co-op.

Lottie finds her and leads her back toward Matthews, Alice’s dormitory building. Lottie asks Alice if she can kiss her, and Alice says yes. They kiss passionately before Alice invites Lottie in, and they have sex.

Alice sleeps like she’s dead as Lottie watches. Lottie approaches and takes in the details of Alice’s scent and appearance, even though she knows it would be easier to just leave. She almost goes but she hears Alice sigh in her sleep. Lottie scribbles a quick note and leaves it on Alice’s lamp.

Out in the streets at night, Lottie passes a menacing man, but she smiles at him, and whatever he sees makes him hurry away. Lottie stops at a mini-mart and gets coffee and a pastry to give to the man working the front desk at the hotel where she’s staying. She gets up to her room and pulls out a battered paperback with three blank sheets at the end from the printer’s excess paper. The pages are no longer blank, filled with names and descriptions. Lottie adds Alice’s name with the description “Scottish. Gentle. Tastes like grief” (42). She closes the book and climbs into bed.

Andrés gives María a horse named Gloria, but he doesn’t let María ride freely on their journey, instead holding the reins of both his horse and hers. They reach a city called Burgos and stop in an inn for the night. Andrés gives María a large ruby necklace before washing and undressing her. He wraps her hair around his fingers when they have sex, which María finds painful. When he finishes, he does not tell her he loves her but rather that he hopes she bears a son.

María lies in bed, unable to sleep, and she remembers the widow and her herbs that can prevent conception. She sneaks down to the kitchen of the inn and looks for herbs, though she doesn’t know which ones she needs. A cook appears, startled, and asks María what she wants. María asks her for the herbs, offering to pay, and the cook makes her a warm cup of herbs, water, and honey. María drinks it and pays the cook, then tells the cook that she’ll cut out her tongue if she tells anyone about María’s request.

María is thrilled by the Olivares estate—a village, a dotting of small houses, and the casona—the large family house where María will live with Andrés. Andrés gives her a tour of the house and their lands and refers to it all as María’s. They eat dinner together under the watchful eyes of the portraits of Andrés’s family, and María finds the food delicious. She eats and eats, and Andrés comments on her extensive appetite. María reflects that she’s always hungry, and she can never feel full.

Andrés comes to María’s room and has sex with her again, but he leaves to sleep in his own room. She cleans herself and prays that she doesn’t get pregnant. Her new maid Ysabel wakes her and helps her dress, and María shivers at her touch. María eats breakfast alone, as Andrés is off seeing his vassals. María buries her cherry pits in Andrés’s olive grove, happy at the idea of her cherry trees invading the green of his grove. Andrés returns and finds her outside, and he commands that she remain inside the house. They have sex again, and Andrés holds her hair even tighter, like the reins of a horse.

María wakes early and dresses herself before going to the stables to ride her horse. The groom tells her that Andrés has ordered him to stop María from riding, even hobbling the horse if necessary. María returns inside.

María wanders the house, noting what she wants to change. She sneaks into Andrés’s room and finds an ornate book, but she’s illiterate so she can’t decipher it. She goes to the servant’s quarters and finds Ysabel playing cards with the other servants. María asks Ysabel to teach her, and they sit in the courtyard and play together. Ysabel tells María that she learned to play from her father, hinting at a darker truth. María wins, then Ysabel, and María wants to keep playing.

A fortnight passes. María endures Andrés’s attention at night, and during the day she entertains herself within the casona with Ysabel, moving furniture, playing cards, taking walks, and even trying on María’s clothes. María realizes that Ysabel is the illegitimate daughter of Andrés’s father, Count Olivares. After sex with Andrés one night, Maria asks him what orgasm feels like, and how to make their sex more pleasurable for her. Andrés is offended by the idea of sex being pleasurable for a woman and dismisses her.

María has a picnic with Ysabel in an alcove. As they lay on a blanket on the floor, María holds hands with Ysabel and feels the heat, the hunger of want grow inside her. María says the house feels silent, as if only the two of them exist. Ysabel tells her that it will not when she has a child. María feels the heat turn cold and takes her hand back.

Andrés tells María that he’s throwing a large feast in her honor, and his parents will attend and meet her. The Count and Countess Olivares speak about María as if she’s not there. The count calls her a commoner but remarks there is something special about her looks, and the countess reminds him that looks fade. María hates them instantly. Andrés walks María around the feast, showing her off like a shiny new object.

The next day, Andrés tells María that he’s been called away, and María must go live with his parents in León. María is upset, as she wants to remain in her casona with Ysabel. Andrés tells María that his mother doesn’t like Ysabel, hinting at his knowledge of her lineage. He’s given Ysabel in marriage to one of his vassals, as if she was an object he could discard. Andrés tells María they can return to the casona when she’s given him an heir.

Alice wakes up with a hangover and her alarm going off. She finds Lottie’s note on the lamp, and the memories of the night return to her. She finds droplets of violet hair dye on her carpet and droplets of blood in her bed, though she’s not on her period, so she’s uncertain where the blood came from. She puts an oversized t-shirt on and tries to go back to sleep. She dreams that she’s nine years old again, back in Hoxburn, chasing after her older sister Catty as she runs away from Eloise. Eloise had entered their lives the year before; she was Alice’s father’s childhood sweetheart, and after Alice’s mother died, her father got back together with Eloise. When her father told Catty and Alice at dinner, Catty ran away. Alice followed her, and they laid on a wall and listened to Catty’s favorite song about finding their way, the same song Alice now uses as her alarm.

Alice wakes up at 9:00 pm and realizes that she’s slept the whole day. Lizbeth returns and tells her that she looks terrible before going to stay with her romantic interest Jeremy, whom Lizbeth met while visiting the campus last year. Alice misses Eloise, who always knows what Alice needs. Alice decides to seek fresh air to feel better.

María lives in León with her in-laws for two years. The only time she’s allowed outside is to go to the local market with the countess. She has no friends other than the other young wives the countess brings to the house, and María finds they only want to talk about their children. Andrés has been back a dozen times in two years, and María is still not pregnant. Andrés is impatient, but María is relieved. The countess thinks María is the problem and chastises her frequently.

At the market, María sees the widow from her childhood. She goes to a stall and asks the merchant about her. He claims she’s a recent widow who runs an apothecary. María tells the countess she needs to go to the apothecary to get a tonic to help her conceive. The countess lets her go.

María enters the widow’s apothecary shop, and the widow appears exactly as she did 10 years prior. The widow asks her what she wants, and María feels safe enough to ask for a tonic to prevent conception. She also tells the widow that she recognizes her. The widow tells María that her name is Sabine Boucher.

María goes back to the apothecary before the fortnight is over. Sabine shares that she remembers María. María asks about Sabine’s husband— she had claimed to be a new widow 10 years ago, yet she’s still dressed as if she’s in mourning. Sabine tells María that women can only avoid the attention and control of men if they’re nuns or widows, so she chooses to remain an eternal widow. She says her husband died slowly. María finds Sabine’s name enticing, and Sabine likes María’s name too, though María doesn’t think it fits her. Sabine tells her that names are like dresses; if one doesn’t fit, she can change it.

Sabine tries to teach María how to make tonics, but she realizes María cannot read and offers to teach her. María is not a patient pupil, but she learns. She mostly enjoys being with the widow, feeling for her the same warm stirrings she once felt for Ysabel. As a reward, Sabine offers her a cup of hot chocolate, claiming she cannot drink it herself because it’s too rich.

María asks Sabine if she’s ever lonely. Sabine explains that she can be alone without being lonely, like some people can be lonely while not being alone. María envies Sabine’s freedom, and Sabine tells her that María could have that freedom too, as there are ways to get rid of husbands. As winter approaches, Andrés returns to León more frequently and tries more voraciously to impregnate María. Sabine plans to leave León, and María is desperate not to lose her. Sabine tells María she can join her, but María is uncertain about killing Andrés.

When María returns home, Andrés tells her that she spends too much time with Sabine. María tells him that she won’t see her anymore. Once Andrés falls asleep that night, María slips out and goes to the apothecary. She tells Sabine that she’s changed her mind—she wants to be free by any means. Sabine asks María if she trusts her, and María says yes. Sabine tells her not to be afraid. Sabine leans in as if to kiss her, but instead she bites María’s neck and begins to drink her blood. María struggles as Sabine’s teeth sink deeper because she’s afraid to die. María has flashbacks to her childhood, to her entire life, as she feels her heart begin to stop. Sabine cuts her own neck and commands María to drink her blood. María drinks and finds the blood delicious. Sabine tells her to stop, but María’s hunger is ravenous; she cannot stop. She only realizes Sabine is dead when her body turns to dust in María’s arms. Her hunger is not satiated. María feels different, as if some part of her has been ripped away and replaced. She should feel horrified, but all she feels is hungry.

María returns to the Olivares house covered in Sabine’s blood. Andrés calls her horrible names and tries to grab her, but María is newly strong. She tells Andrés that her name is no longer María, but Sabine. She bites his neck and drinks his blood until he dies, then trips over a lamp, setting the house on fire. She bites, drinks, and kills the count before watching the countess trip and fall down the stairs, breaking her neck. Sabine leaves as the fire spreads. Her old life burns, and Sabine leaves León and never looks back.