Catalyst

It’s the day after Kate went to Teri’s house. A substitute teacher for Kate’s chemistry class plays Alice in Wonderland, the Disney animated classic. Kate loves Disney movies: “Disney is our collective stepparent, the nice one who tells us bedtime stories and bakes cupcakes” (67). Kate misses her mother’s watch. Not long into the movie, her father, waving a thin white envelope, comes to the door. The envelope is from MIT. Kate knows it is too thin to be an acceptance, and the letter confirms her fears. Her father consoles her—they will move on to her other schools. Kate cannot bring herself to tell him the truth—that she only applied to MIT.

As she returns to her seat, she tries to figure out why she was not accepted. She treats it like a lab protocol. Where did she go wrong? She wishes that, like Alice, she could shrink and fit into her locker. She is humiliated and knows everyone will see she is the “Amazing Lying Egghead” (73). Mitch tries to hug her in the hall, but she fends him off: “I can’t be hugged right now” (74).

Kate skips her next classes. She watches as the art students in the school lobby assemble a massive papier-mâché statue called Student Body. The students decorate the statue with objects that represent student life: cheerleader hair ribbons, notebooks, chess pieces, computer chips, excuse cards, even a jockstrap. Kate watches as the figure grows throughout the afternoon. As she heads to the guidance office, she dismisses the project: “It should be called Frankenstudent” (78).

She hopes her guidance counselor will tell her that MIT made a mistake. The office is crowded; in a cubicle, Kate sees Teri Litch; Teri’s mother, father, and little brother; and a police officer. Kate thinks they must be settling the cafeteria fight.

In calculus, Kate poses the rejection letter as a math problem, certain that with logic, she will find an answer: “Math reminds me of pebbles, a whole beach of smooth, wet pebbles that […] can be arranged in patterns” (80). Nothing helps. She sneaks pass Mitch on the way out the door to track practice.

It is gym day for the track team; no outdoor running. Reluctantly, Kate heads to a treadmill. She needs to run fast. She outpaces runners on the other machines. She becomes absorbed in her running, faster and faster, her Achilles tendon and knees aching—“Give me pain, bring it” (84), she thinks. The coach hits the stop button. Kate steps off the machine and promptly faints.

When Kate gets home, she only wants a soaking bath—“boiling, scalding, sterilizing water hurts so good” (85). She thinks the rejection must be a clerical error. She plans to drive to the campus (if her car makes it) and ask them to check, and fantasizes about meeting an admissions counselor who sympathizes, then admits her on the spot. Toby calls to her through the bathroom door to look out the window; the Litch house is on fire.

Kate is aware that someone is in her own house. Her father escorts Teri and Teri’s little brother in, stunning her. Her father explains that the Litch family is in need, that the mother will be staying with the church secretary, and Teri and Mikey will be staying with Kate’s family for at least a week. Kate objects: The house is not child-proof, and she does not know who will watch Mikey during school. Her father is adamant; Kate has no choice but to accept the situation.

Kate finds Teri on the couch watching baseball on TV. Teri, smelling of smoke, says nothing when Kate offers her clothes. Teri and Mikey take over Kate’s bed, and Kate sleeps on the cot. Mikey snores, and Kate knows she will get little sleep. She looks at Teri and sees that she is also awake. Her “eyes swivel and pin me to the wall” (93). Her gaze makes Kate uncomfortable.