Caught Up

“I wondered if my father ever felt like this. If our ‘work’ weighed on him in the same way. Unlike me, Dad hadn’t been born into the mob. He’d carved out a space among their foot soldiers and slowly fought his way up the ranks. Now he was the guy the big shots turned to when they needed their messes cleaned up, but since he thought too much of himself to get his hands dirty anymore, he delegated.”

The bitter tone of this expository passage details the history of Junior’s family with the mafia, and his contemplations also indicate his deep resentment of his overbearing father. In many ways, father and son are foils to one another, for although Junior’s father joined the mafia willingly, Junior himself was forced into the mafia due to his father’s influence. He therefore finds it difficult to sympathize with his father’s stance on his current affairs.

“Every Me4U creator was different and had varying levels of activity, but since this was my full-time job, I posted a spicy picture to my page at least once a day, and a long-form video every Wednesday like clockwork to my main page for all my paid subscribers. Usually, I had my posts scheduled ahead of time, but this past week had been especially hectic. I was down to the wire and didn’t like it. This wasn’t just a job to me. My subscribers weren’t just random people; they were my community.”

In this passage from Lauren’s perspective, she articulates her deep love for her profession in sex work, and her redefinition of her subscribers as her “community” also sets the stage for the abstract affection she holds for NT95, Junior’s online persona on her Me4U page. Lauren’s overview indicates that for her, sex work is a valid profession, and her perception of her subscribers as a community highlights how seriously she takes her job.

“Movement behind her drew my gaze, and I glanced over to see people nearby casting looks her way. One or two even leaned in to whisper something to those seated next to them. I thought they were talking about Tommy at first—news traveled fast in the old neighborhood—but then I caught sight of their censuring glances and realized this wasn’t idle church gossip; this had teeth. It brought to mind Dad’s insult. Whore. Were these motherfuckers talking shit about Lauren? My Lauren?”

Junior’s harsh use of language in this passage indicates his rough, coarse outlook on the world even as his thoughts reveal his rigid sense of justice. The author also injects a note of humor into the gravity of the passage, for Junior condemns the judgmental parishioners just as they are condemning Lauren.