Charming as a Verb

“A good chunk of Haltiwanger money comes with a ‘we’ pronoun. It’s all household money. Three people, one set of bills.”

This quote emphasizes the Haltiwanger family as a tight-knit unit that supports and relies on one another. Unlike most of his peers at FATE Academy, Henri has adult responsibilities in his family. He contributes financially to the family household out of necessity. Henri is happy to help his family, but his lack of financial privilege in contrast with his wealthy peers at school is a source of shame for him. This quote demonstrates that, far from being shameful, Henri’s relationship with his family is one that is close, supportive, and based on helping one another, which shows the strength of the family.

“This is the land of Doctor King, Maya Angelou, Michelle, and Beyoncé. This is the only place in the world where those stories can happen. All those town cars passing through? They’re as likely to have a Black or brown person in them these days. Back in Haiti, for me and your mother, that wasn’t the case.”

In this quote, Philippe focuses on a key difference between Henri’s and Jacques’s Perceptions of the American Dream. Jacques has experienced real hardship and poverty, and he sees America as a land where Black people can succeed despite society’s racism. Henri, though, has experienced racism and knows that it is much more difficult to become a Beyoncé than it may seem. Allusions to these iconic Black figures also heightens the pressures placed on Henri to be successful and meet his parents’ expectations and fulfill their dreams.

“Truth be told, I’m nowhere as nervous as I’m making myself out to be. But performing a bit of anxiety can be an endearing quality to some adults. If nobody likes to be fawned over, a lot of people respond positively to having created butterflies in someone else’s stomach. They want to calm you down.”

This quote reveals yet another mask Henri wears because he believes that being his authentic self will not help him to succeed. False nervousness makes adults want to help him, even when Henri isn’t actually nervous. The way he plays with his own emotions for public perception is a sign that Henri relies on manipulated feelings in order to relate himself to others. Ultimately, however, this is a slippery slope because it contributes to Henri’s inability to figure out who he really is.

“It’s dramatic, but she’s also not wrong. It’s established knowledge that all the effort you put into being the perfect college applicant should in turn also look effortless. The great catch-22 of Higher Education. Be perfect and make it look easy.”

One of the important themes in this novel is The Pressures of Young Adulthood. This quote captures one of the central pressures for high schoolers—the pursuit of college admissions. The novel considers how college admissions processes are often unfair and requires teenagers to display their accomplishments as elite young adults. The idea of perfection mixed with the appearance of ease creates pressure on young adults, as they have to work to be both perfect and falsify the ease with which they achieve perfection—a perfection that does not exist.

“In essence, it’s the same thing as being Henri, Halti, H, Double H. People have different expectations of you. It’s often a lot easier to simply adjust to these expectations instead of being yourself.”

This quote supplies evidence that Henri has a tendency to internalize other peoples’ perceptions of him. Due to others’ expectations, he wears different masks and wears whatever version of himself other people want to see. He deliberately is not himself in these situations, which foreshadow internal conflict and later lessons in Self-Discovery of One’s Authentic Identity.

“Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Because it’s all my dad’s ever wanted for me. Because nothing would make him prouder than wearing Columbia blue and telling everyone his son is an Ivy Leaguer.”

In this quote, Henri conveys that his dream school is Columbia University because it is his father’s dream. Henri wants to fulfill his father’s dreams for him. These words also reveal that Henri does not care about Columbia the way his father does. Therefore, Henri is working hard for a dream that isn’t authentic to him.

“I think about the hunger Dad always talks about. You need that hunger in this world. Heck, this entire city is a weird ant farm that proves that fact every single day.”

The Haltiwanger Hunger is a metaphorical hunger that represents their dreams, goals, ambitions, and their hustling mentality. The Haltiwanger family are hard workers who think of the future and their mutual wellbeing over their individual, momentary happiness. The Haltiwanger Hunger represents a general mindset of New York City, where everyone hustles for more money and status in pursuing their dreams. The Haltiwanger Hunger is a small-scale version of the ethos of the larger city and society around them.

“Being Black at a school like FATE comes with a certain burden sometimes. The constant notion to prove yourself as truly exceptional to shake off the affirmative action cloud floating over your head, that unfun and constant fear that other people think you’re only where you are because of lowered expectations.”

Henri and Corinne are two of the few Black students in a majority white school. The pressures they face as students of color are more profound than their white peers. They feel the pressure to prove themselves equal to their white peers and confront the racist idea that Black students are in a predominately white institution because of affirmative action or lowered expectations. This adds unwarranted stress to their school experiences and challenges their sense of self.

“‘She’s helping me with college. Her mom is a dean at Columbia,’ I tell her, but coming out of my lips, it sounds wrong. Nothing I said is a lie, but it feels like one. That’s not why I’m hanging out with Corinne…Is it? Corinne is funny, Corinne is smart, Corinne’s mom is a dean at Columbia. Why does that third thing never completely leave my brain?”

Henri has so deeply internalized the pressure to get into Columbia that he can’t help but associate Corinne with the connection to her powerful mother even though he truly likes Corinne for the sake of her personality and traits. This quote reveals how deeply Henri feels he must get into Columbia. In equating people and potential relationships with what they can do for him, he sacrifices true companionship and his own moral code for a lofty dream.

“Marvyn and I Smile at each other and in another reality, very close to this one, it’s clear we’re both extending middle fingers at each other.”

In this quote, Philippe capitalizes the “s” in “smile” to emphasize the symbolic smile that is a façade. Marvyn and Henri do not like one another, but they both use the Smile to make things seem fine for the sake of social niceties. It is notable that Henri is hyper-aware of the fake social manners he and others use.

“But something about Corinne disarms me. And the most surprising thing is, I don’t mind it. I actually kind of like it. I actually kind of like…her. No, that’s crazy. I do not have feelings for Corinne Troy. But then why am I still thinking about her?”

Falling in love with Corinne is an important moment in Henri’s character development. Corinne is not the type of girl he usually is attracted to, so his attraction to her intelligence and sense of humor shows growth on his part. Corinne also challenges Henri in ways that make him more authentically himself. This quote notes that Corinne disarms Henri, which is something that Henri does not typically let happen; usually, Henri is the one who disarms others.

“I don’t know if he has a part-time job on the side, but my money would be on no. Meanwhile, I was up at five forty-five this morning to pick up dog poop, and it categorically wasn’t to write an essay about it. Oh, and his big interview that won the student paper its award last year? The one with the Lincoln Center’s creative director? Did you read it? That’s his uncle! It took place at their family cabin!’ Marvyn also buys his problem sets off previous seniors who graduated, but I don’t say that part because being a snitch right now won’t get me any closer to Columbia.”

In this quote, Henri identifies the injustice inherent between peers at FATE. Because Marvyn is well-connected through his wealthy family, he does not have to work for opportunities—opportunities are handed to him that give him the appearance of being accomplished. Marvyn can pay to cheat, which is something Henri can’t afford. Henri has to work harder than Marvyn just to keep up, never mind compete with people like Marvyn.

“The rest of the day is spent in a funk. I don’t have a Smile, smile, or smile™ left in me for anyone in the halls of the Fine Arts Technical Education Academy. And when you’re not smiling in a school like FATE, everyone thinks you’re sad, upset, or, worse, angry. This alone is, in fact, sad, upsetting, and angering.”

Henri is unable to express his true feelings. Although he is suffering through enormous amounts of stress, being seen anxious, sad, or angry would bring him negative attention. This highlights The Pressures on Young Adults and also emphasizes the ways in which society (as symbolized through FATE Academy) often turns away from the individual’s vulnerability.

“I hadn’t even told Ma or Dad about the program and mostly applied to McGill to see if the few sketches I submitted would pass muster. There was never any other light in the room beyond Columbia University, but there was no harm in flicking on a night-light in the corner.”

In this quote, Philippe uses the metaphor of the light to reveal that Henri’s back-up plan of McGill is actually an important source of support guiding him through dark times. A night-light is a comforting source of light—not useful, necessarily, for seeing, but important for feeling safe. McGill’s role in Henri’s life is that similar sense of safety.

“The thing with being good at lying to others is that you end up being pretty great at lying to yourself too.”

Henri has lost his sense of self through his constant manufacturing of an outward persona. Because he lies to others about who he truly is and what he truly wants, he ends up lying to himself as well. This quote is an important revelation of the internal conflict of identity going on in Henri’s character development. It is also a message to the reader encouraging honesty.

“Despite our both being the O-Generation—a concept I have to admit rings terribly true the more I think about it—Corinne isn’t an immigrant. Or the child of immigrants. It’s a distinction that’s mostly irrelevant except in moments like these, where it could easily place us on two different wavelengths. There’s no Haitian in her, no Jamaican, no Puerto Rican. Her Blackness is American, born and raised. Stolen and enslaved, technically, but still, it’s rooted here. She never aspired to be here from another shore elsewhere. She might not understand.”

The O Generation alludes to Black icons like the Obamas and Oprah Winfrey who serve as role models to Black young adults like Corinne and Henri. Corinne and Henri have different experiences as Black teenagers. Henri’s intersectional identity of being both Black and the child of immigrants is a unique experience that comes with a different set of familial expectations and pressures. Corinne inherits the American experience, whereas Henri must balance both being an American and raised by Haitian parents.

“Everything about McGill’s campus feels aged to just the right age, like the architectural equivalent of expensive wine. Unlike FATE, which sometimes feels like some Manhattan spaceship, most of the buildings are bricked, coated in frosted snow, with rusty staircases. There are just enough modern steel-and-glass constructs peppered throughout to also see why the school is the academic beacon of Montreal. The cold (because there’s no denying it—it’s a hell of a sting to the face) makes everything feel crisp and new.”

Philippe uses imagery to characterize the romantic atmosphere of McGill. McGill’s physical contrast to FATE Academy also works as a metaphorical comparison that gives McGill a unique, homey feeling. The cold in Montreal also symbolizes crispness and newness, therefore signifying new opportunities and exciting changes for Henri if he chose McGill over Columbia.

“Maybe there is another way to go about life beyond keeping your head down and getting pummeled until the Cloutiers of the world are satisfied.”

Henri watches his father act deferentially to the people he serves in the building, even when those people treat him as lesser than human. Henri is protective of his father and does not want to become someone who must allow others to speak to them disrespectfully. For Jacques, being deferential even when the building tenants are being rude to him is a necessary part of his job; standing up for himself may cause conflict. Henri has his own masks he wears to deal with difficult people in his world, but here, he begins to wonder if there is another way forward, which shows character growth.

“In the fairy-tale version of our lives, kissing Corinne would have been the happily-ever-after moment. But this is reality, and happy endings aren’t that easy. In real life, there are…complications. There’s no textbook for relationships, no What to Expect When You’re Expecting for teen romance. I mean, what does this new status even really mean? How do I turn on boyfriend mode in between my early-morning dog walks and our jam-packed lives?”

Henri and Corinne have a special relationship. Though Henri has been attracted to girls before, he’s never been in love or had a girlfriend. Henri is too anxious about the pressures of his senior year of high school. Rather than prioritizing love and a social life, Henri takes on adult responsibilities and believes that these duties make having a relationship problematic. This quote underscores how Henri has not had a carefree childhood or adolescent experience—he worries about his future and makes choices based on his perception of what it should entail.

“But here is her email. Open. There is her keyboard, just waiting to be typed on. I think of how easy it would be—unethical, if not downright illegal, but very easy—to send an email from her account to someone in the admissions department.”

The seduction of the open laptop in Chantale’s apartment tests Henri’s morality. He is so desperate to satisfy his parents’ dreams for him that he sees a pathway to Columbia by using Chantale’s computer and adopting her identity. This quote, written in brief, impactful sentences that heighten suspense and tension, highlights the moment when Henri puts aside his ethics to achieve a dream that’s not even his own.

“Dad let his dream of jazz clubs and fame die somewhere along the way, but Ma made hers happen. It does not matter what certificate she still needs to complete or the sick days she fudged at her last job to make time for the early days of the training program: that’s who she is now. At some point, she saw an opportunity, an opening, and jumped headfirst into it. She made her reality. And that’s what I’m going to do.”

Henri sees two versions of what his future can be like. One role model is his mother, who chases her dreams. The other is his father, who let go of his dreams. He tries to rationalize his fraudulent email with this dichotomy as a way of creating his own reality in the face of real adversity. Henri wants to pursue his dreams at any cost necessary.

“Everybody else uses what they’ve been given. Some people have money; others have connections, influence, or ridiculous supercomputer brains that can get a perfect score on their SATs in the middle of a yawn. Worse still, they have second chances: another train of opportunity they can catch, just minutes behind the one they just missed. They’ll reapply after a gap year; they’ll go to Dartmouth and transfer in a year. They’ll afford grad school in four years. I have only these, right now. This computer and this email.”

Another way that Henri tries to rationalize his fraudulent email is by acknowledging the inherent injustice in the college admissions system. The system is rigged to uplift already wealthy and well-connected students, whereas scholars like him, who work hard and make sacrifices toward a better future, struggle to break into the more exclusive institutions. While Henri’s actions were wrong, his reasoning points to a societal injustice regarding college admissions.

“Because there’s no such thing as ‘competitive’ in the end, is there? I want to say. You’re either in or you’re not. Everyone who ‘almost got in’ ends up in the same pile as the people who didn’t even spell their address correctly. The world is binary. Success, failure.”

One of the capitalistic lessons Henri has internalized is that there is either success or failure and nothing in between. The pressures he has been under to succeed make this binary seem impossible to avoid. He must learn independently with the encouragement of Corinne and Ming that gray area exists in the world of achievement and in creating a future for oneself. Learning this lesson is key to Henri’s coming-of-age.