Citizen Illegal

As he grew up, Olivarez was ashamed of his Mexican heritage (“Hecky Naw”). In “River Oaks Mall,” he denied to his teacher he brought beans to school, because that would have been a clue to his ethnicity. In those early days, he seems to have followed the lead of his parents. The whole family tried “so hard to be American / it was transparent” (“River Oaks Mall,” 6), yet they often faced alienation and rejection from white American society. In exploring the challenges of the immigrant experience, Olivarez examines the complexities of assimilation and cultural identity. 

The title of the poem, “The Voice in My Head Speaks English Now” tells its own story of how Olivarez was becoming more comfortable thinking, and perhaps also speaking, in English rather than Spanish, even at the same time that, as this poem indicates, he was uncomfortable living in a cold climate. When he went to Harvard, he entertained the notion of becoming part of mainstream American society. He assumed that with a Harvard degree the “border ended in a boardroom” (“Hecky Naw,” 24), that is, at a high level in the business world, where a person came from would not matter; he would be accepted and successful.