Confessions

Milk is a key symbol in the novel that is tied thematically to The Pitfalls of Perception. At first, milk—the first food of all mammals—represents purity and the innocence of youth. Moriguchi’s students, who as young, prepubescent adolescents are supposedly still “pure” and have not begun thinking about adult matters like sex and violence, are required to drink milk every day as part of an ongoing health initiative. This project is known as “Milk Time”; for the most part, the students obediently drank the milk as required, happy to receive a free treat. (Milk, incidentally, is white, a color often associated with purity.)

However, the innocent nature of milk first becomes spoiled when Moriguchi explains that the free milk was part of a government nutrition experiment, rather than a free bonus (the class’s perception of it changes immediately, she notes). Once she reveals that she added blood containing HIV to the cartons the murderers received, she forever changes the way students perceive it; after this point, milk comes to represent the students’ loss of innocence as they reconcile what their teacher and classmates have done.

The following school year, milk plays a key role in the increasingly vicious bullying in the classroom, becoming a weapon. The students initially use their milk to “ward off” Shūya but also use it as a reminder of his actions (referenced by the rotting milk in his cubby and desk). Oblivious to the events of the previous school year, Werther is the only one who continues drinking the milk, representing his relative innocence compared to the rest of the class.

The symbolism of filth, which represents the evidence of life, is subtle. The school swimming pool, despite being unused, is kept full of water—which becomes filthy—to fight fires. It is thus connected to life through its purpose. Shūya’s messy laboratory is his source of life, as it contains his passion for invention and his connection to his mother, which is his primary reason for living. As Mizuki observes when she visits, it is full of junk thrown away by Shūya’s father’s family, realizing the idiom “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Many of these abandoned goods become parts in Shūya’s creations.

However, the symbolism of filth is most evident through Naoki. When Shūya “befriends” him, Naoki brings cookies to the laboratory, disgusting Shūya with his crumbs. As his mental health declines after believing he has contracted HIV, Naoki clings to life in part by neglecting his physical hygiene, believing that his growing hair and nails, body odor, and oily skin are all proof that he is still alive. This belief continues until his mother destroys that armor via a haircut, foreshadowing her intent to kill him. This in turn incites Naoki’s transformation from (barely) living human into a “zombie.” It is at this point that Naoki fully embraces his perceived fate and his role as an unrepentant killer. He seeks to take others down with him by contaminating products in a store with blood, but only after bathing—thus relinquishing his hold on life by shedding his filth.