Cost of Living

Flashing back to October, Eddie is washing Ani in the bathtub. Ani is angry that Eddie has to bathe her and complains that he didn’t show up when it mattered. Then she decides that she’s tired of insulting him. It hasn’t driven him away, but she finds it hard to trust that. Ani asks how the water feels to him; she wants it to feel good for him too. As he washes, he approaches her genitals, afraid to progress. Ani says, “You can” (60). Eddie thinks that she means something sexual. She clarifies that he can wash her genitals, and that she’s on her period anyways. Eddie’s uncomfortable, and Ani, exasperated, says that this is why it’s better to have a female caregiver. Eddie relents, and Ani reassures him that she can’t really feel it. She feels sexual arousal in her mind now instead. Under the water, Eddie starts touching Ani sexually, but the audience can’t tell what he’s doing until he asks whether she can feel it. She can’t. He stops.

They talk about the piano music from the radio, and Eddie says that he always wished he could play an instrument. As a child, his family had bought him a Casio keyboard he had begged for. He didn’t know how expensive lessons were, and hadn’t learned to play. Instead, he had turned the volume down and turned the radio on, pretending he was playing the music.

Eddie places Ani’s arm on the rim of the tub and pretends to play the piano on it. He asks if she can feel it, and she says she can. Eddie suggests that they do something for Ani’s birthday next month, in November. He is supposed to go on a drive, but he offers to take time off work. Ani dreams about going to Maine. She has an idea of Maine from a photo she saw on a coworker’s desk. According to the EMTs, Ani told them that she was driving to Maine after her accident. Ani points out the impracticality of her going to Maine now. Eddie says that he ripped up the divorce papers, amending that he plans to rip them up when he gets home, but Ani doesn’t want to talk about that. She says: “Papers were trees” (67).

Eddie lights a cigarette and shares it with Ani. Ani asks if Eddie’s girlfriend has left him, and he says she hasn’t, “but the… clouds are there” (67). Eddie asks: “Is there a world, Ani, where… where you and I—?” (68) Ani says no, because she could never know if he only came back because she’s paralyzed; she knows that he wouldn’t have come to her if he didn’t feel like his life had cracks to be filled. Eddie says that it’s human nature to need each other. Frustrated, he stands to go search for an ashtray. Ani stops him and says: “It’s been nice getting to know you. Again” (69). Eddie agrees, and Ani amends: “You prick” (69).

Eddie tells her that they’ll go to Maine one day, and that Ani will take him because he took care of her. They smile at each other, and Eddie goes to the kitchen. Ani calls after him that maybe she’ll return to work soon. Suddenly, she accidentally slides into the tub, screaming for help from under the water. After a few moments, Eddie returns. He drops the plate he’s holding and pulls her up. She gasps for air and tries to say that he can’t leave her alone in the tub. Eddie apologizes. She says: “Don’t go” (70). Eddie holds her.

It’s Friday night, and Jess enters John’s apartment. She is dressed for a date and carrying a plastic bag. John enters and tells her that she looks nice. He says that he needs to be showered and then shaved, and Jess flirtatiously agrees. John admits that he’s excited but anxious. He had considered prostitutes before, which Jess tells him not to talk about. John says that he wants to brag, and Jess suggests that they start with the shower. Jess is enthusiastic. Then John says: “I’m meeting her at 8” (73). Jess is stunned as he explains that he’s going on a first date with another graduate student, a woman named Madelyn who went to Oxford and studies Hume. From her bag, Jess pulls a bottle of wine. She pours a glass for each of them, adding a straw to John’s. Jess steels herself against John’s excitement, then asks when John will be home from his date. John isn’t sure, hoping that it will be late.

Jess asks if she can stay in John’s apartment while he’s gone. John is surprised, and Jess promises not to touch anything. She pleads: “I just want one night. I just want something that’s mine fer one night. Even if it’s yours” (75). She adds that she had given up work to be here. Suddenly, John realizes what Jess had thought the evening was supposed to be. He hedges, then admits that he isn’t comfortable leaving her there, because he had seen her taking soap. He says that he doesn’t care about the soap but would still rather she not be there alone. John asks why she took it, and Jess offers to return it. John still wants her to shower him, promising to pay her overtime. It means that she’ll have most of the night off to go home, which is rare. John goes into the bathroom, and after a moment, Jess runs out.

Emotional, Jess makes a call on her cell phone. Disappointed, she speaks to her mother’s voicemail. In a mix of English and her native language, Jess tells her how much she misses her and wishes she could talk to her. She says: “I wish you were—still you. I love you. I’m sorry” (77). She repeats her apology several times and then hangs up. It starts to snow.

It’s the same Friday night as when the prologue and the previous two scenes took place. We see Eddie’s apartment, which is littered with boxes. Eddie invites Jess to come in. Jess is still dressed in what she wore to John’s apartment, but with the addition of warm sweatpants and boots. She is extremely mistrustful. She asks about his wife, as she only agreed to go with Eddie because he said his wife lived with him. Eddie is vague, and Jess accuses him of lying. He takes a photo from his wallet. Jess says that she could be his sister, and Eddie replies that it would be odd to carry a photo of his adopted sister.

Jess was in her car when Eddie saw her. Eddie questions whether Jess was eyeing his wallet, which she denies. He insists that he would have invited anyone over whom he saw sleeping in their car on such a cold night. Jess admits that she has been living there for a few weeks. Normally she would run the heat, but her battery died. Eddie finds a blanket in a box. It belonged to Ani. After a moment, he gives it to Jess. Jess is about to take it and leave, and Eddie asks her to return it when she’s done. Jess agrees, then decides to stay long enough to get warm.

Eddie offers her leftover pizza, mentioning that he had known a woman who had lived in her car. She had accidentally spilled a gas can one night and died from the fumes. Jess still isn’t sure about coming all the way in but agrees to have some pizza. Eddie tells her not to steal his things; Jess retorts that there’s nothing to steal and that she has nowhere to take it. She adds that she normally works every night and that she also went to college. Eddie says that she is keeping the door open. She steps inside a bit further, closing the door but leaving it cracked in case she needs to escape.

Jess says that she doesn’t normally go into other people’s houses; she usually works all night and sleeps during the day. But it’s cold, and she has no family or support system. Her mother had become sick and had to go back to her home country because medical care was too expensive in the United States. Due to a series of unlucky breaks, Jess has been living in what was her mother’s car. She works and sends all her money to her mother. She parks in the neighborhood, because she lived there before she was homeless.

Eddie admits that his wife died a month ago. He asks Jess to stay, offering to split the apartment for reduced rent. He keeps all the lights on all the time but promises that Jess won’t have to pay for it. He just can’t stand being so alone. The microwave beeps, and Eddie goes off to get the pizza. Jess closes the door, and the apartment immediately warms up. Jess asks about the rent, and Eddie answers eagerly. He adds that he doesn’t normally even go to bars, that he had gone to meet someone who hadn’t showed, which is how he happened to see Jess in her car. Warily, Jess tells Eddie to eat a bite of her pizza so she can make sure it’s safe. He takes a bite, but Jess is still uncertain. Eddie makes a joke about poison then laughs, but the laugh turns into a strange emotional moment—“something happens to a very lonely man” (85). Eddie swears that he isn’t weird. Jess decides that she should leave, turning down the pizza.

Eddie calls after her, asking for her name, then phone number. Jess refuses, and Eddie asks for her area code and whether her number is new. Jess threatens to mace him, and Eddie halts, thanking her for the warning. Jess apologizes: “It’s just unfortunate that some people have already lived a lot of life before they meet other people” (86). Eddie tells her to be careful, because small things can be devastating, like the blood clot that killed his wife while he was away driving for work. Jess tells him her area code, and Eddie is disappointed that it’s different from Ani’s. Jess thanks him for trying to help and leaves. Eddie sits for a moment. Then his phone buzzes. Eddie freezes, unsure what to do. Then, the door opens, and Jess comes back inside. She offers a thermos of coffee, even though it isn’t fresh. He replies that he has pizza, even if it isn’t warm. Eddie invites her in, and she removes her hat. They each take a step toward each other and stand there as the light fades.