Criss Cross

Debbie’s, Hector’s, Lenny’s, Patty’s, and Phil’s self-discovery journeys coincide with their quests for meaning and purpose. At 14 years old, all five of the characters are developing a worldview. They are asking questions not only about who they are, but what they believe and what gives their lives value. Much of the novel is presented in scenes of dialogue, which enact the characters’ attempts to conversationally process their emotions, thoughts, and doubts. The surrounding illustrations of the characters spending time in Lenny’s dad’s truck, listening to the radio, sitting on the roof, taking walks, lying in bed together talking, sharing ideas about God, fate, and chance visually capture how they’re learning about the world with each other’s help.

The characters’ dialogues about religion, culture, and love imply that the search for meaning develops in conversation with others—not alone. Debbie, Hector, Lenny, Patty, and Phil all have interests that give their life meaning, and they share those experiences with each other. Sharing their experiences doesn’t take away their individuality: Even engaged in the same activities, they each have distinct ways of experiencing joy and beauty. Debbie derives meaning from studying the past. Studying her mom’s keepsakes and conversing with Mrs. Bruning offer her portals into her elders’ personal histories; in turn, she finds insight into her own life. Similarly, Lenny finds meaning and understanding from reading his mother’s encyclopedia collection. This research fortifies his innate curiosity and teaches him lessons about how things work—from the scientific to the mechanical.

Hector, meanwhile, derives meaning from music. Music “transform[s] him, or reveal[s] a part of him that [is] plugged into the cosmic life force. A life force that seep[s] in, through, and under the music, like God in the Communion wafer” (18). The parallel between music and God implies that Hector can experience the divine through artistic expression.

In addition to introspection, encounters with love and romance propel characters’ searches for meaning. Debbie has feelings for both Dan and Peter and discusses these emotions with Patty and Rowanne. Hector develops feelings for Meadow, and shares these complex emotions with Phil. Their adolescent crushes may be fleeting, but they teach the characters to handle rejection, insecurity, and the discomfort that comes with sexual awakening. Attraction, the novel suggests, is not superficial, but a gateway to understanding oneself and one’s worldview. For Debbie, falling for Peter offers her a view into what intimate companionship might mean. She and Peter ultimately part ways, but their relationship helps Debbie connect with “a small piece of her Buddha self”—or her higher way of being in the world (288). These aspects of the characters’ personal lives convey the complexity of developing a belief system during adolescence.