“When we recently visited one of his coworkers for dinner, I informed him their spare key was hidden under a garden gnome by the door. When we lifted it up, sure enough, there it was. I have a knack for these kinds of things.”

Clues about Debbie’s violent personality are sprinkled throughout the novel, contrasting with her demure self-presentation. In this passage, Debbie reveals that she has “a knack” for breaking into strangers’ homes. Her casual, matter-of-fact tone here belies the violent uses to which she puts her skills: Ultimately, it is revealed that Debbie uses this skill to murder one person and frame another for the death.

“I tried not to let on, but that unexpected phone call threw me off my game. How could she call me when she knows I’m still home, likely in the middle of breakfast? If Debbie had seen…I don’t want to think about that.”

This is one of many clues scattered throughout the novel, suggesting that Cooper is having an affair. These clues are intended as misdirection, as it is eventually revealed that Cooper is receiving calls from his sponsor. Cooper’s fear that Debbie will discover his secret—an alcohol dependency—drives his decisions throughout the novel, reflecting The Danger of Secrecy in Relationships.

“I feel a sudden buzzing in the back of my head. Like a fly is trapped inside my skull and trying to get free. I wonder what that’s all about. Does it mean I’m having a stroke?”

Debbie’s loss of emotional control manifests physically in the form of headaches and migraines, which get worse as circumstances spiral out of her control. The fact that she visualizes her anxiety as a fly indicates that she believes her problems have an external source. The reference to a stroke reflects McFadden’s career as a physician.

“Rochelle’s husband is some sort of soulless corporate lawyer. Obviously, she doesn’t need to work. Not even as a lowly advice columnist.”

Debbie’s perspective on herself shifts depending on who is around her. Although Debbie is proud of her job as an advice columnist, her neighbor Rochelle makes her feel insecure about her need to work at all. Debbie’s constant comparison of herself to others complicates her sense of self, making her a difficult character to understand.

“Sometimes it seems like she doesn’t have much going on upstairs, but she tries her best. […] I still don’t know how she forgot about my avocado allergy though, considering we talked about it only a couple of hours ago. […] Debbie is flighty, but this is next level.”

Harley offers the first perspective on Debbie that is not wholly positive. While Cooper believes that his wife is brilliant and talented, Harley believes that she is “flighty” and “doesn’t have much going on upstairs.” This passage offers the first clue that Harley might not be a genuine friend to Debbie. It also speaks to Debbie’s careful self-presentation to hide her misdeeds, as Debbie didn’t “forget” Harley’s allergy, but instead deliberately made something that would poison the other women without harming her friend.

“After all, what is more honorable than protecting your child? If my parents had protected me better…well, no point in thinking about that right now.”

As Debbie begins to give in to her violent impulses, she starts to have traumatic memories of a violent event in her past, invoking The Lasting Effects of Traumatic Events. Debbie’s increasing struggles to control these memories reflect her loss of impulse control. Ultimately, Debbie justifies her violence by attributing it to her unresolved trauma.

“I still remember the first day I met her, over twenty years ago now, and it was like a bolt of lightning hit me. I hadn’t been thinking about marriage before that, but I knew right away I wanted to marry Debbie. This was a woman I’d never be able to get out of my head.”

This passage is one of many clues that the man Harley is having an affair with is not Debbie’s husband, Cooper. Cooper’s thoughts on his wife here directly contradict “Cooper’s” actions in Harley’s chapter, suggesting that they are not the same man. In the final chapters, it is revealed that Harley’s boyfriend is Jesse/Hutch, pretending to be Cooper.

“My relationships with married men rarely end well. In fact, the last one, with a man named Edgar, blew up in my face quite spectacularly. But I’ve got a good feeling about Cooper Mullen.”

This is the first clue that Harley is stuck in a loop of repeating the same mistakes as a result of her difficult past. Despite having experience dating married men, Harley believes that “Cooper” is telling her the truth and is her true love. Ultimately, Harley’s belief in Cooper and the possibility of true love will lead to her death.

“There are several things your husband could do to reduce his snoring. Regular exercise and reduced alcohol intake can help with snoring. Weight loss can also be helpful.”

This passage comes from one of the draft responses discarded by Debbie, which are scattered throughout the novel. As the novel progresses, the letters begin to reflect plot points in Debbie’s life. The references to regular exercise and reduced alcohol intake point to Cooper’s supposed affair with trainer Harley and his secret alcohol dependency.

“I suppose this is what happens when somebody has an IQ of 178 and no job except for writing a weekly advice column. I do write those apps for our phones, but I’ve become so quick at it, they don’t take much work anymore. My brain is screaming for stimulation.”

In this passage, Debbie attributes her deadly garden plants to her lack of mental stimulation as a stay-at-home mom. Debbie’s desire to be seen as more than a stay-at-home wife drives many of her decisions in the novel, but her fixation on the idea that she is merely bored and “screaming for stimulation” helps her to evade addressing The Lasting Effects of Traumatic Events that still motivate much of her revenge sprees.

“She is torn apart by the inner turmoil of wanting to eat pancakes but also feeling like she needs to lose twenty pounds to get back on the soccer team. […] Great. Coach Pike has given my daughter an eating disorder.”

Here, Debbie reflects on Misogyny and Societal Control of Women’s Bodies. This passage suggests that men feel they can control the bodies of girls from a young age. As a result of Coach Pike’s misogynistic views, Izzy begins to believe that she needs to lose weight and conform to traditional beauty standards.

“Edgar was an adult, and he made his own bed. I didn’t force him to leave his wife. And I didn’t force him to hang himself.”

The confrontation between Harley and her former boyfriend’s sister demonstrates her callous attitude. This passage is intended to underscore her position as a heartless villain, as she shrugs off how her behavior has impacted Edgar. Her assertion that she “didn’t force him to leave his wife” is technically true but is also something of a contradiction, as Harley is often very insistent on trying to get her married lovers to leave their wives, just as she does with “Cooper.” Her disavowal of responsibility and indifference suggest she loses interest in her paramours as soon as they are actually available.

“If he sends it to his friends, they’ll send it to their friends, and then the whole world will get it! How will I even get into college?”

This passage highlights the extent to which male control of women’s bodies is taken for granted in modern society, reflecting Misogyny and Societal Control of Women’s Bodies. Although she is only 17, Lexi knows intuitively that her classmates will share her intimate photos, and that there is a larger online market for photos of underage girls. The fact that Lexi worries this will keep her from getting into college indicates that she has internalized responsibility for Zane’s violation of her privacy, reflecting how women are often blamed for men’s bad behavior instead of supported.

“And I wasn’t taking, like, intro to bullshit. I was taking challenging computer science classes in which several of my classmates were just barely scraping by. Like I said, I can’t help but wonder what could have been.”

This passage reflects the novel’s thematic interest in The Lasting Effects of Traumatic Events by suggesting that being raped in college permanently altered the course of Debbie’s life. The novel’s recurrent references to Debbie’s unfulfilled potential suggest that, had she not been raped, Debbie would have finished college and had a satisfying career in computer science. Debbie ultimately credits her violence to this lack of intellectual fulfillment.

“Most of the time, I am able to push what happened that night with Hutch out of my head. But right now, it’s like he’s whispering in my ear: Don’t worry. This will be over in a minute. I will not let that happen to my daughter.”

The novel explicitly links Debbie’s desire for vengeance with the trauma of her sexual assault. In this passage, the connection is so close that Debbie imagines Hutch as a stand-in for Zane assaulting her daughter. Debbie’s decision to drug Zane in order to protect her daughter is a traumatic repetition of her own drugging and assault.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s become an obsession for me. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

This passage represents the climax of the novel, as Debbie believes she has fully lost control of her impulses. Despite her claims of logic and rationality as a computer science expert, Debbie acts fully on impulse in the final section of the novel. The fact that there are no more Dear Debbie drafts past this point suggests that Debbie is no longer moderating her behavior.

“I agree with Lexi—it seems like Debbie is getting vigilante justice on everybody in her life who has wronged her or her family.”

Debbie’s loss of emotional control is accompanied by a loss of control over her circumstances as her family connects her to recent crises in their lives. The fact that Debbie’s self-centered teenagers and troubled husband recognize her involvement indicates that she has lost her ability to hide her bad behavior. Ultimately, Debbie is able to regain control and hide the worst of her behavior from Cooper.

“Lennox is droning on about the course load at MIT and how he still has PTSD from his operating systems class last semester. ‘I can’t even go in that building anymore,’ he jokes.”

Debbie’s actions in the final half of the novel are inspired by The Lasting Effects of Traumatic Events. When she attempts to work out that trauma by plotting to burn down the fraternity house where the assault occurred, she encounters a college student joking about post-traumatic stress disorder. The juxtaposition of this joke and Debbie’s very serious mental anguish suggests that trauma is not taken seriously in society.

“I’m president of Zeta Pi, and nothing like that is going to happen in this house while I am in charge. If I ever suspected that one of our brothers was trying to roofie a girl or take advantage, we’d investigate. Anyone who did that…they would be gone.”

When Debbie arrives at the Zeta Pi house, she is surprised to find that the president of the fraternity is willing to discuss the measures taken to protect women from assault at parties. Although upset that such measures need to be taken, Debbie is impressed that a younger generation of fraternity leaders is willing to address problems in their group. This fraternity president offers a stark contrast to Zane, the only other young man in the novel. Lennox’s proactive attitude suggests that Misogyny and Societal Control of Women’s Bodies can and should be challenged to create safer spaces for women.

“I can’t stand it anymore. When you’re the other woman, you’re always second-best. Even if they pretend they like you better than their wives, you’re always just their dirty little secret. Well, I’m sick of being a dirty little secret.”

Debbie rationalizes Harley’s murder by suggesting that her affairs with married men made her a callous and uncaring person who deserved whatever she got. This passage suggests that Harley struggled with her role as an affair partner and that she wanted more from her relationship with Cooper. Harley’s tragic end suggests that Debbie’s sense of justice has grown increasingly skewed.

“Before we were married, I was scared that if I told her, she would lose respect for me and dump me. And then after we were married, I realized it was too late, and she would be furious with me for lying to her.”

In the novel’s final chapters, it is revealed that Cooper has been lying to Debbie about his alcohol dependency since the beginning of their relationship. This passage echoes Debbie’s own explanation for why she never told Cooper about being raped: First shame, and then a feeling that it was too late. Their secrecy and gnawing sense of guilt speak to The Danger of Secrecy in Relationships.

“Is that Debbie’s plate number? Christ, I don’t know. It’s difficult for me to remember my kids’ birthdays; license plate numbers are out of my wheelhouse. It does look familiar though.”

This passage is one of many hints throughout the novel that, despite loving his wife and children, Cooper is not an active presence in his household. The fact that he does not recognize his wife’s license plate or know his daughters’ birthdays reflects the toll that his secret alcohol dependency plays on his mental state. In the novel’s Epilogue, Cooper will recommit himself to his family.

“This was not my first affair, and she was not even the tiniest bit understanding. She wasn’t that amazing as a wife, which is why I was with Harley in the first place, but after a year without being close to a woman, I would give anything for a conjugal visit. My kids hate me too for what I did to the family. I’m alone.”

By the end of the novel, Jesse (known to Debbie as Hutch and to Harley as Cooper) has been framed for murder and abandoned by his wife and children. The collapse of Jesse’s marriage closely echoes the experience of Edgar, Harley’s last married boyfriend, whose children similarly hate him after leaving their mother. The references to Jesse’s other affairs suggest that he was never faithful or respectful towards his wife, whom he dismisses as being “[not] that amazing as a wife,” and blames her for his infidelity. His lack of ownership of his behavior and self-pity also reinforce his characterization as someone who is without remorse for his violent crimes against women, reflecting Misogyny and Societal Control of Women’s Bodies.