Death Row

Talia is feeling drunk after consuming three glasses of wine at a party she and Noel are throwing—the first one they have hosted in nearly a year. Talia reflects on how busy Noel has been since getting a job at a pharmaceutical company after finishing his postdoc.

Despite some of the hardships of the last year, Talia is grateful to host the party, and she pours herself another drink. Her best friend, Kinsey, sidles up to the table, accusing her of slurring her words and stating that Talia must not be “knocked up yet” (30) based on her alcohol consumption. Talia tells her that Noel has been talking about trying for a baby with more urgency, but that his work schedule keeps him away from home so much that Talia still has doubts about whether they are ready. Kinsey affirms that this must be challenging for her, and Talia realizes that she has not seen her husband in over an hour.

Looking through the house for Noel, Talia fails to locate him until she spies him out in the backyard, standing close to a woman she does not recognize. Talia marches toward them, realizing that, despite the low temperature, she does not feel cold. That strange sense of unreality comes over her again, and she ignores the voice in her head that echoes “this isn’t real” (31).

When she reaches Noel and the other woman, she asks who she is and demands that she leave the party immediately. The woman tries to explain that she came with another partygoer from Noel’s job, but Talia cannot handle the flirtatious tone the woman takes with Noel and threatens to call the cops unless the woman leaves. The woman hastens to leave, and Noel gawks at Talia, asking her why she was so upset.

Talia accuses the woman of “wanting” (33) Noel, which causes him to smirk when he realizes how jealous she is. He assures her that he loves her and that he would never cheat on her, joking that if he did, Talia would “probably kill [him]” (33). He and Talia laugh, but the thought of Noel cheating is unbearable to her, and she could not handle it were it to come true.

Noel leads them back inside, pulling Talia close for a kiss. Before their lips can meet, Noel tells Talia to open her eyes, revealing once more that the scene was just a dream.

When she fully wakes, Talia reflects on how realistic her dreams feel. She notes a similarity across the dreams: Every time she reaches out to kiss Noel, she wakes up. She thinks back to the man she saw two days previously, still convinced that he is Noel. She scrutinizes how this could be possible as, even though she is innocent, she knows Noel is dead.

As she thinks, she realizes that she never saw Noel’s body after the accident, and the body removed from their home by paramedics was covered in a sheet. She begins to wonder whether the DNA evidence police used to identify Noel’s body was wrong, and that it perhaps was not Noel who died in the house fire. Talia begins poking holes in her own theory, knowing that the most likely explanation is that her desperation has caused her to think that a stranger is her dead husband.

It is nearly nine o’clock and Noel is late again, having promised to be home by seven. Talia is annoyed, but unsurprised, as this has become a familiar pattern, down to Noel’s apologetic text messages. At 9:10 p.m., Talia hears Noel enter their home, and she removes the now-dry chicken she made from the oven.

Noel comes into the kitchen, apologizing profusely and explaining that one of their experiments ran long at the lab. Talia assures him that it is fine and that she understands the importance of his work. He promises to take her on vacation when the experiment trial is complete, and Talia thinks that a vacation sounds nice, perhaps even an opportunity for them to conceive a child. Talia has recently become more open to the idea of starting a family, thinking that a child would be the incentive Noel needs to begin cutting his work hours.

Noel leans in to kiss Talia, but she interrupts, asking if he wants to eat. He says that he needs five minutes to shower. Talia asks if he wants to try for a baby after dinner, but he asks for a “rain check” (38), citing his exhaustion from work. Talia nods and watches her husband go up the stairs to take a shower, hoping that it washes off the distinct scent of another woman’s perfume from her husband, who cannot smell it.

Talia jolts awake, realizing that this is the first time she has dreamed about Noel’s suspected infidelity. Talia usually looks at her dreams as a way to escape her grim reality and is despondent to find that this challenging time from her past has infiltrated her dreams. She sits up, hearing once again the beeping sound from somewhere in the prison, and realizes that this is probably what woke her up.

Rhea calls to Talia, asking if she is awake, and tells her that she found out who the man in the visiting room was: Father Richard Decker, a chaplain who often comes to read last rites to inmates. While learning that the man is a chaplain explains his presence in the prison, Talia thinks that it does not explain why he looks so similar to Noel, nor the feeling she got when their eyes met.

Talia asks Rhea if she can schedule some time to meet with Father Decker, and Rhea agrees, telling her that she will arrange it to take place once Talia is moved to “death watch” (41), the cell where she will await execution.

Talia berates herself for being so naïve as to miss every sign that Noel has been cheating on her. After smelling the perfume that first night, Talia has smelled it on her husband every night since. This, coupled with his lack of interest in sex and his prolonged absences, convinces Talia that Noel is cheating on her with a woman at work.

Sitting on the couch, trying and failing to read, Talia shifts and hears the distinct crinkle of paper. She lifts out a receipt for an expensive necklace purchased with Noel’s credit card. Knowing that there is no special event coming up to occasion such a gift, Talia assumes that Noel has bought the necklace for the woman he is sleeping with. A text from Kinsey, her best friend, interrupts Talia’s thoughts, asking whether she wants to go to dinner.

Too upset to consider going to dinner, Talia ignores Kinsey’s text and goes to the kitchen to begin boiling pasta for dinner. Their old stove does not work properly, and the burner fails to ignite, filling Talia’s nostrils with the familiar scent added to gas. A thought occurs to Talia: The gas scent never bothers Noel because he cannot smell it; therefore, were the house to fill with gas, he would not know to not turn on the stove to prevent an explosion.

As the plan formulates in Talia’s mind, she imagines going out with Kinsey as an alibi for killing Noel, convincing herself that Noel deserves this because of his betrayal. She texts Kinsey, confirming their meeting for later that night.

In anticipation of her execution, the prison has moved Talia to the death watch area adjacent to the execution chamber. Kinsey brings Talia an outfit so that she does not have to die in her prison jumpsuit, and Talia orders her last meal, which she learns has a cost cap of $40.

In advance of her anticipated meeting with Father Decker, Talia’s dreams about Noel have become darker. Talia does not go into detail but states that while they had many good times, the end of their relationship was not so good, and she admits that she did things she regrets. Despite this, the hope that Noel may have somehow survived the explosion buoys her.

Talia shakes as Rhea leads her to the visitation area to meet Father Decker. Assuming her palpable anxiety is about her impending execution, Rhea assures Talia that she is “almost at the end now” (48). There is no one in the visiting area, and there is only one man waiting on the other side of the partition.