Death Row

“It’s entirely possible that being on death row is worse than death.”

As Talia orients the reader to life on death row, she makes the hyperbolic statement that death row is possibly worse than death. Writers often use hyperbole for dramatic effect, and here readers gain insight into how Talia’s experience on death row has shaped her outlook. Talia understands that no one can possibly know whether death row is worse than death, but the extreme nature of her statement illustrates how desperate she is to escape from death row, invoking The Ethics of Capital Punishment.

“I spend twenty-three hours of the day in this cell, which is roughly the size of a parking space. Humans are not designed to be locked in a cage for 95 percent of the day.”

At points throughout the text, author Freida McFadden uses the setting of death row as a way to make commentary on the conditions faced by death row inmates and to raise The Ethics of Capital Punishment. Here, she uses pathos in an attempt to elicit sympathy and compassion. McFadden, through the character Talia, seeks to highlight how these practices might be considered inhumane.

“They treat me like a wild animal that could turn on them at any time. But I suppose if they really think I’m a murderer, that makes sense. Who knows what I’m capable of?”

Talia uses a simile to illustrate how the guards view her as a prisoner: They see her as being like an unpredictable animal that poses a threat of danger. This quote also contains a rhetorical question when Talia asks “Who knows what I’m capable of?” As a rhetorical question is posed for dramatic effect rather than to elicit a response, it raises the question of what, exactly, Talia is capable of. However, this question could also be interpreted as an example of sarcasm, as Talia seeks to highlight the absurdity of how she is being treated while in prison. The ambiguity of this statement aligns with the thriller/mystery genre, as authors include textual clues throughout their novels to try and throw readers off the trail.

“Naturally, I got caught—I always do. I’m the worst criminal ever.”

This quote is an example of dramatic irony. In the flashback, Talia laments being caught by Noel spitting into the woman’s drink, stating that she is “the worst criminal” because she is always caught. Dramatic irony is defined as a disparity in how a character understands a situation and how the reader does, as Talia, at this point, believes she is always caught when doing a misdeed, and the audience knows that this will continue to hold true for her as she is convicted of Noel’s murder later on. In this way, the quote is an example of foreshadowing, an allusion to an event to come later on in the text.

“And then I remember. I remember that I’m in a prison cell, all alone, and Noel is dead. The only place he’s still alive is in my dreams.”

As Talia comes out of her dream, she has a moment of epiphany as she realizes that Noel is no longer alive and that she is still imprisoned, invoking The Fallibility of Perception. Moments of epiphany in texts are revelations that enable characters to see the world in a clearer light. Here, however, the dreams only serve as a harsh reminder of Talia’s reality. Her dreams take on symbolic importance, a place where she can escape her reality and reunite with Noel once more.

“Something about this interaction feels ‘off,’ although it’s hard to explain how. It’s almost like…it’s not really happening. Like I’m replaying a reel in my brain, and if I reached out to Noel, he’d disappear into thin air.”

This quote contributes to the overall mood of the text, specifically the “Before” chapters, as it becomes clear that each “Before” chapter is really a dream or replaying of a past interaction between Talia and Noel. In describing their interaction as “off,” the scene takes on a mood of unreality, raising The Fallibility of Perception.

“When I was a teenager, my father died of a heart attack in the bed of another woman, an unfortunate occurrence that pretty much scarred me for life. My mother went later, after such a prolonged and agonizing battle with cancer that the first thing I did after she was buried was sign an advanced directive to ensure that I wouldn’t end up the way she did.”

As Talia explains the deaths of her parents, there are important moments of foreshadowing. As she describes her father’s death—in the bed of the woman with whom he was having an affair—Talia’s intense feelings around The Psychological Impacts of Trauma and Betrayal come into clearer focus. Similarly, later on in the text in the hospital scene, Dr. Bowman cites the advanced directive Talia signed requesting she not be kept alive by artificial means after seeing it happen to her mother. This background information provides important context for Talia’s feelings and motivations.

“Sometimes the pat-downs are agonizing, especially when a male guard is doing it. But as promised, Rhea is quick about it.”

Talia employs an allusion when describing the differences between when male guards perform her mandated pat-downs versus Rhea. An allusion refers to a subject that exists outside the text, in this case, the threat of physical harm that female inmates are at risk for while in prison. Talia alludes to the fact that male guards are far rougher with her when conducting the pat-downs, and suggests that their roughness may also border on sexual assault, as the pat-down is an act that requires intimate contact with another person’s body.

“Thank God the prison has these shackles and glass to protect the rest of the world from me.”

This quote is another example of sarcasm as Talia means to highlight the absurdity of the extreme conditions of her imprisonment and The Ethics of Capital Punishment. By highlighting the safety measures of the prison—shackles and a glass partition keeping her separate from visitors—Talia means to emphasize how unnecessary they are, considering she is not a dangerous person.

“Sometimes it’s better to let go than to drag it out […] I’ve seen this many times before, and you have to know when to let go.”

This quote is the introduction of an important motif used throughout the rest of the novella. At the time, Bowman uses this statement to try and persuade Talia to cease the appeals process, effectively signing away her life and accepting her fate of death by lethal injection. He almost frames the choice as an empowering one: Ending the cycle of appeals and accepting her fate rather than having the choice made for her. As the text goes on, the idea of “letting go” will repeat as the novella gets closer to resolution and Talia, in reality, learns to forgive herself for the choices she has made and “let go” of the past.

“I want to reach out and strangle her with my bare hands. I want to choke her until she dies, and then bury her body in the backyard. The fact that Noel is standing right there and wouldn’t go along with it is the only thing preventing me from doing it.”

Talia’s rage toward the woman talking to Noel at the party is meant to highlight her emotional state, as well as juxtapose the intensity of her emotions versus the interaction that takes place between Noel and the woman. When considering the interaction between Noel and the woman, while flirtatious, it appears innocent, and yet Talia’s response to witnessing the scene is to want to inflict permanent bodily harm on the woman. This provides important characterization for Talia, as she is someone who would act on her extreme emotions, specifically when it comes to The Psychological Impacts of Trauma and Betrayal.

“I love him so much that the thought of him ever being unfaithful to me is unbearable. If he ever did something like that…”

This is another quote that illustrates the extremity of Talia’s emotions around the idea of Noel ever being unfaithful to her, invoking The Psychological Impacts of Trauma and Betrayal. She describes the notion as “unbearable,” and the ellipsis at the end of the quote is used to omit the end of Talia’s thought, an ambiguous conclusion to her statement that raises the question of what Talia would do were Noel to cheat on her— thus leaving open the possibility that Talia may resort to extreme measures, perhaps even violence, were this to occur.

“The most likely explanation is the most obvious: I’ve been missing my husband so desperately that I imagined that stranger was him.”

Talia, riddled with grief over the loss of her husband, is beginning to project his likeness onto those around her. Despite this example of deductive reasoning, there continues to be a kernel of doubt in Talia’s hypothesis, challenged when she asks to meet with Father Decker again, intent on seeing the man face-to-face to determine whether or not she is imagining things. This raises the question of whether Father Decker may, in fact, be Noel, speaking to The Fallibility of Perception.

“Noel has lost his sense of smell, but I haven’t, and I am very aware that he reeks of another woman’s perfume.”

When Talia smells the other woman’s perfume on Noel, she chooses the word “reeks” to describe the intensity of the scent. The word “reeks” has negative connotations in culture, not only to describe the strength of the smell but that the association with the smell is a negative one, in this case, that it is an indication of his infidelity. In another context, the scent might appear pleasant to Talia, but because of its association with another woman and Noel’s suspected infidelity, the perfume takes on a rank scent, triggering The Psychological Impacts of Trauma and Betrayal.

“That annoying beeping sound is also going off somewhere in the prison, which may have been what wrenched me from sleep.”

The motif of the beeping inside the prison appears as a sort of beacon or indicator of Talia’s mental state and interpretation of reality, highlighting The Fallibility of Perception. The beeping appears throughout each setting of the text: The prison, Talia’s memories/dreams in the “Before” chapters, and the hospital scene. In each of these versions of reality, the beeping is one of the only consistencies. It symbolizes the only true subjective reality that exists for Talia, a tether that grounds her in whichever reality she finds herself in.

“If I came into my kitchen and smelled gas the way I do now, I would know not to use the oven and possibly to call the fire department. Noel wouldn’t know, though.”

Although this quote comes toward the end of the novel, because of the novel’s structure, this quote still provides important exposition for the true events that led Talia to death row. Throughout the text, Talia has alluded to Noel’s lack of sense of smell, a repetition that indicates to the reader to pay attention to this fact about Noel. Now, as Talia comes closer to telling the truth about what happened, she reveals that she has set the stage for Noel’s demise and that perhaps she is culpable of the crime after all.

“When you look into the eyes of the love of your life, you know it.”

The novella often questions Talia’s subjective experience of reality and The Fallibility of Perception. This statement, however, is meant to affirm Talia. As someone who loved Noel so deeply, Talia seems mentally sound in this moment: She asserts that it is impossible that she would ever mistake the love of her life for someone else. Talia’s diction here is so clear, so unambiguous, which speaks of her confidence in her own perceptions, but her perception is not always trustworthy.

“He leans forward, and his gaze locks with mine. ‘I love you so much, Talia,’ he says in a voice that now sounds like his own.”

As Talia’s grip on subjective reality appears to slip, it raises The Fallibility of Perception. Throughout the scene, Father Decker has appeared identical to Noel, and yet his voice does not sound like Noel’s until this final statement. Talia fervently believes what appears before her, and yet she is not always reliable.

“Rhea gives me a pitying look. She doesn’t believe me, and it’s clear that nobody else will either. Noel has fooled everybody into thinking he is dead, and if nothing happens in the next twenty-four hours, I will be the one who is dead.”

This is a moment of concession for Talia as she begins to see her situation more clearly and the fact that her assertion that Father Decker is Noel is unbelievable to everyone around her. Since Talia is still caught in the spiral of self-delusion that she is completely innocent in her situation, refusing to acknowledge that she did wish harm upon her husband, her reality on death row reflects this. Rhea does not believe her, Father Decker/Noel refuses to help her or acknowledge her in any meaningful way, and Talia is left to concede the fact that she has done all she can to save herself, and her death is imminent.

“[After] the second injection, I won’t be able to move or speak as my heart beats erratically and the drugs work to kill me. It could last as long as fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes of torture.”

This quote acts as another example of pathos in the text, raising the issue of the “humanity” of this method of execution and The Ethics of Capital Punishment. While proponents of lethal injections often cite it as a more humane alternative to methods like the electric chair or hanging, Talia refers to the potentially 15-minute-long process as “torture,” a choice in diction that seeks to emphasize the inhumanity of such a drawn-out process meant to end someone’s life.

“I have so many regrets. I shouldn’t have allowed my jealousy to get the better of me. I could say that my father’s death in the arms of another woman did a number on me, but that would be avoiding taking responsibility for my actions.”

When reflecting on her choices, Talia admits to The Psychological Impacts of Trauma and Betrayal. She admits her father’s infidelity deeply impacted her, yet in the latter half of the quote, she does take responsibility for her actions. She illustrates another example of how McFadden explores the effects of jealousy and betrayal on the human psyche, stating that her father’s betrayal of her mother sowed the seeds of her jealousy but that she should have chosen differently.

“I have woken up every night this week from nightmares where I relived that final day. I see myself making all the same mistakes, and I am helpless to stop it from happening.”

This quote lends insight into Talia’s state of mind at this point in the text and illustrates that perhaps the prison she finds herself in is only one she has erected in her mind, reflecting The Fallibility of Perception. As she awaits her execution, Talia takes full ownership of her actions for the first time, stating that she was responsible for turning on the stove. The repetition of her dreams symbolizes the guilt loop that she feels trapped in. By taking responsibility and ownership of what she did, Talia is able to break free of the prison she has placed herself in and begin returning to reality.

“‘I didn’t do it […] I didn’t kill my husband. I’m innocent.’ Albert is quiet for a moment […] he exchanges looks with Rhea and then lets out a deep sigh. ‘Yes,’ he says, ‘we know.’”

This quote, which occurs right as Talia begins dying from lethal injection, illustrates the epiphany moment in the text that enables Talia to “break free” of the prison of guilt she has placed herself in. When she states that she did not kill her husband, she is telling the truth, because the reality that she did not kill Noel and is imprisoning herself mentally with guilt is finally surfacing. For the entirety of the text, Talia has been insisting that she did nothing wrong, instead of taking ownership of her jealousy and rage against Noel and her intent to harm him. Only once she is able to admit that she did have murderous rage in her heart for Noel is she able to let go and forgive herself, freeing herself from the dream-loop she was trapped in on “death row.”