55 pages • 1-hour read
Deep End
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Symbols & Motifs
Inward Dive
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of sexual content and physical abuse.
Throughout Deep End, the inward dive symbolizes Scarlett’s trauma. Scarlett has a fraught relationship with this particular dive because of an incident that occurred two years before the narrative present. During the NCAA championships, she “entered the water at the wrong angle” while performing the inward (12)—which resulted in an array of injuries including a concussion, ruptured eardrum, twisted neck, labral tear in her shoulder, and a sprained wrist and ankle. In the narrative present, Scarlett has finally healed from her injuries and returned to the Stanford diving team. However, she still can’t perform the inward dive. Each time she tries, she ends up performing another of the six main dives. Hazelwood indicates that these errors are a result of her mental block—a phenomenon that happens to gymnasts and divers where they lose their mental place while in the air.
Hazelwood frames Scarlett’s struggle with the inward dive as a symptom of her lingering psychological wounds. On the day before the NCAA championship, her abusive father broke the terms of his restraining order and contacted Scarlett; and on the day of the championship, Scarlett’s boyfriend Josh called to break up with her. Overwhelmed by emotional pain, Scarlett got the twisties (the mental block) and severely hurt herself during the dive. In the present, she isn’t afraid of the physical dangers of diving, but she is afraid of failing again. She doesn’t perform the inward again until Chapter 41. The image of her landing the dive like it’s “[s]econd nature” symbolizes Scarlett’s work to overcome her trauma (264). The night before successfully performing the dive, she opens up to Lukas about her struggles, suggesting that emotional vulnerability helps catalyze her recovery from her mental block.
Lists
The lists that Scarlett and Lukas exchange before beginning their sexual relationship are symbolic of the novel’s thematic interest in the Exploration of BDSM Within Consensual Relationships. When Scarlett and Lukas first begin to entertain the idea of sleeping together, they each create “a BDSM checklist that include[s] stuff like anal fisting, cross mounting and chastity gear” (127). Scarlett and Lukas complete their checklists independently, listing all of their preferences, fantasies, and curiosities. They also specify sexual dynamics, positions, and play that they’re not interested in. They then share and discuss their lists with one another. The lists illustrate the respect and trust they are actively fostering together. When Scarlett shows Lukas her list and he kisses her, she asks if she has to read his too when they already know that their preferences overlap. Lukas insists that she read it “because the only way we can do this in a healthy and sane way is if we both know what to expect” (141).
The lists also offer Scarlett and Lukas order and control. When Scarlett first tells Pen why she likes BDSM, she explains that while she has a penchant for overthinking in daily life and desperately “trying to avoid screwing up,” in a BDSM relationship she relishes the “ease of pre-negotiating a social interaction. Having, for once, specific instructions” (24). Scarlett and Lukas design this social contract via their lists. They lay out the parameters of their relationship as equal partners, establishing themselves as two consenting adults agreeing to trust and have fun together.
MCAT Results
Scarlett’s MCAT results are symbolic of the fear of failure. Throughout the first half of the novel, Scarlett is beginning her med school applications and studying for the MCAT. She works hard as she’s determined to do well and get into a school she wants. Despite her dedication, Scarlett gets so anxious when she receives the email with her results that she can’t open it. Staring at her phone screen, she lets her “thumb hover on the link, trying to come to terms with the bed-wetting prospects that the scores might be even lower than [she’s] prepared [her]self for” (246). The reference to “bed-wetting” in this scene evokes notions of fear and shame, particularly those attached to childhood. Scarlett tells herself to just “[r]ip the Band-Aid” but ultimately can’t open the email because clicking the link feels “as impossible as all the inward dives in the world” (246). Scarlett is afraid to see her results because her deepest fear is a fear of failure and imperfection.
When Scarlett finally opens the MCAT results with Lukas’s support, it signals her efforts to overcome her fear. Lukas shows no surprise or resentment when they discover she’s outscored him, because he knows she’s “a perfectionist, and studied to the point of being overprepared” (272). Scarlett realizes she’s let her anxiety surrounding her score cloud her “perception of [her] performance” (272)—a habit that extends into her academic and athletic spheres as well. Indeed, once she faces her fear, she realizes that her worries are unfounded. As a result, she learns to trust herself and show herself more grace.
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