“Her dream was for Ruth to finish college and become a high school history teacher, a job that Celia Bader thought would be both fulfilling and obtainable. As Ruth herself put it, her mother ‘never in her wildest dreams thought about the law. That would be impractical because at that time women were less than three percent of the lawyers in the country.’”

Totenberg explains that Ginsburg’s mother, Celia Bader, had high standards for Ginsburg’s academics and hoped that she would pursue a career in education. This quote helps the reader understand why Ginsburg was always a dedicated student, while also emphasizing how she was part of a generation that pioneered law careers for women after women’s virtual nonexistence in the field.

“The Times, it turned out, was not that different from Record-American. Women did not appear on the mast-head; they were not featured as national correspondents, or appointed to the editorial board. Even when they did advance, they were generally paid less than men.”

Totenberg recalls the working conditions for women journalists in the 1960s, emphasizing the lack of visibility and unequal pay. This quote helps the author develop her theme of sexist discrimination and the advancement of women’s rights over her lifetime and career. By situating the reader in the past, the author provides a powerful contrast to the present, as Totenberg later experienced great success.

“We were outsiders to the world in which we operated. We both had our noses pressed up against the windowpane, looking inside, and saying, ‘Hey, men in there, let me in!’”

The author concludes Chapter 1 by highlighting her and Ginsburg’s shared experience of being one of very few women in their workplaces, making them feel like “outsiders.” In this quote, the author reiterates that, due to their gender, Ginsburg and herself experienced frustrating discrimination that limited their opportunities, income, and sense of belonging in the workplace.

“But he was all over me, literally pawing me, and it was incredibly embarrassing and awkward […]. I had given him a ride home and found myself fighting him off the whole time, to the point of pulling over to the side of the road to try to get him to stop.”

Totenberg relays one of many instances in which she was sexually harassed while at work; this memory of her boss physically harassing her helps the reader understand how ingrained such harassment was in the culture of the time. The author uses this story to express that, in the 1970s, women were socialized to expect and accept this kind of behavior.

“It was lonely at work. That’s the only way to describe it. If you were a woman, you were always fighting to get a chance. The workplace was not a haven […]. So when I walked through the doors of the National Public Radio in 1975 and saw other women working there, not just assistants but holding important jobs, it was a complete reversal of everything I had come to expect.”

Totenberg helps the reader understand the sense of social isolation in being one of few women in a workplace during this era. By contrasting her position at NPR with her previous experiences, the author helps the reader understand her deep appreciation of the supportive friendships she formed while working at the radio.

“Most couples face the challenges of illness and caregiving after many years together; for Ruth and Marty the weight and intimacy of illness and caregiving were rooted in their marriage early on. The thing that I had feared most at age thirty-four—being left a widow—Ruth had faced a decade earlier in life, at age twenty-four.”

Totenberg praises Ginsburg’s loyalty to her husband and the tenacity she showed in helping him recover from testicular cancer while both of them were in law school and raising their first child. This passage emphasizes how resilient Ginsburg had to be at such a young age.

“Two of Ruth’s greatest strengths as a friend were her loyalty and her incredible timing. The woman with a myriad of obligations and demands somehow made space for those she cared about at just the right moment. It was not simply her seminal advice or her invitations when Floyd was so ill. It was other acts of thoughtfulness, the things she did when no one else was looking.”

The author praises Ginsburg’s approach to friendship, again emphasizing her loyalty and her ability to maintain a friendship in spite of her busy life and career. This quotation helps the reader understand why Ginsburg’s friendship was so meaningful to the author, and nicely sets up her story about Ginsburg declining a society club invitation because the club had rejected Totenberg as a member.

“What bothered me the most when I started digging was that neither side had fully investigated these allegations. It’s much easier to investigate fully when charges are still confidential, before they are splashed across the nation as a huge news story. The fact is that no one ever disputed the truth or accuracy of my story, which was that a credible witness had made a serious allegation to the Judiciary Committee and those allegations, for all practical purposes, had not been examined.”

Totenberg explains that in spite of the furor around her interview with Anita Hill, in which she accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment, no one ever questioned the truth of Ms. Hill’s allegations. Instead, some politicians and their supporters accused Totenberg of politically motivated reporting. This quotation ties in with Totenberg’s theme of women’s rights and Confronting Sexist Discrimination, as she discusses the apathetic approach many people in government had toward this sexual harassment case.

“The note began: ‘Concise advice: Stay strong and be resilient. It helps, sometimes, to be a little deaf when unkind or thoughtless words are spoken.’”

Totenberg recalls receiving advice from Ginsburg as she was under scrutiny for her reporting on Clarence Thomas’s sexual harassment allegations. This passage demonstrates how Ginsburg supported Totenberg during this difficult time, as well as reveals Ginsburg’s personal approach to coping with criticism, which became hugely influential to Totenberg.

“Ruth used the formal nomination announcement to talk about her mother: ‘I pray that I may be all that she would have been, had she lived in an age when women could aspire and achieve, and daughters are cherished as much as sons.’”

The author recalls Ginsburg’s remarks in the Rose Garden of the White House in reaction to her nomination as a Supreme Court Justice. This passage reminds the reader of Celia Bader’s significant influence on her daughter, as well as ties in with Totenberg’s theme about women’s rights advancements throughout Ginsburg’s life and career, some of which Ginsburg personally contributed to.

“Gradually, David came to fill a role for Ruth that I could not. Washington tends to be a city where the higher your stature in public life, the fewer true confidants you have.”

The author explains that Ginsburg’s close friendship with Totenberg’s second husband, David, was particularly comforting since Ginsburg was a reserved person with a demanding job in a very competitive and political environment. This passage bolsters Totenberg’s theme of The Importance of Friendship and her appreciation of “true confidants.”

“But from her early struggles and her later ones, she understood better the plight of people who were less fortunate. Nothing came easy in her life - not getting a job as a lawyer, not even becoming a judge, and for two decades there were constant health challenges. Nothing came easy, except for her brains, intellect, and curiosity.”

Totenberg argues that Ginsburg’s experience of various hardships helped her to develop empathy for others, an important quality in her work and personal life. This passage adds to Totenberg’s flattering description of her friend and helps the reader understand why Totenberg admired her so much.

“Ruth did not believe in small talk, she spoke only when she had something to say, and most often when she did interject, it was to say something neat, smart, or incisive—although she loved good gossip, and she knew plenty.”

The author depicts Ginsburg as a serious-minded and intellectual friend who was an engaging conversationalist at their many dinner parties and events. This quotation helps to round out Totenberg’s description of Ginsburg and allows the reader to imagine what Ginsburg was like in her private life.

“It was almost impossible to overstate how incredibly supportive Marty was, particularly for a man of his era […]. He both luxuriated in and I think the best word is the Yiddish word kvelled in Ruth’s success.”

Totenberg praises Marty Ginsburg for his supportive approach to Ginsburg’s high profile career, crediting him with helping Ginsburg to attain her position on the Supreme Court. This passage honors Totenberg’s friend Marty and gives the reader more detail on the dynamic between him and Ginsburg.

“By 2010, Ruth was no longer the only female justice. Because she was now the elder stateswoman of the three women on the Court and the senior member of the Court’s liberal wing, Ruth’s words carried even more weight. She was also writing far more dissents, and her dissents were getting noticed.”

Totenberg observes that, with her increased seniority and a more gender-balanced court, Ginsburg became more influential in her work and spoke out against rulings that she felt were wrong, such as removing parts of the Voting Rights Act. This passage shows how Ginsburg’s reception and reputation continued to evolve as she contributed to the Court.

“The reason was, as she put it, ‘I didn’t want you to be trapped between your friendship for me and your obligations as a journalist.’ As I write these words tears sting in my eyes, as they did that night. At different moments in life, there are choices of lasting consequence. And I had one of those before me. For the next eighteen months, I chose friendship. It was the best choice I ever made.”

Ginsburg hid the details of her surgery from Totenberg in order to relieve pressure from her friend. Totenberg recalls making a firm decision to experience Ginsburg’s illness as a supportive friend, rather than a reporter gathering facts, demonstrating the strength of her bond with Ginsburg.

“Ruth believed deeply in that mission—to uphold the Court’s public trust. That’s what she was fighting for in that final year by continuing her work—more than even her own health or survival.”

Totenberg affirms Ginsburg’s firm belief in the importance of the Court and its ability to make sound decisions that could be trusted by Americans. This quotation suggests that Ginsburg believed that a Trump-appointed Justice would erode the public’s trust in the Court.

“So now, she was stuck. I do not think Ruth would have fought so hard to live if Trump were not president and if she were not trying to make it to the 2020 election. There were stretches when something went wrong every week. Her little body took an enormous amount of punishment as she kept going.”

Totenberg recalls Ginsburg’s dismay at having her health impacted rapidly during the Trump presidency, which meant that Trump would nominate a conservative successor in her place when she passed away. This passage generates sympathy for Ginsburg, who declined to retire during Obama’s administration when she was in better health, by emphasizing how much she tried to stay alive in spite of it all.

“During the question-and-answer session, Ruth also talked about how she approached life following Marty’s cancer diagnosis. In that moment, everyone likely understood that she was speaking for herself in the here and now as well. ‘We took each day as it came,’ she said. ‘After those few hard months, I decided that whatever came my way, I could handle it. If you’ve survived cancer, you have a zest for life you didn’t have before.’”

The author recalls Ginsburg’s memories about Marty’s cancer early in their marriage, noting that in her final interviews, Ginsburg was experiencing her own health conditions and applying the same philosophy to her own life. This quotation demonstrates Ginsburg’s tenacity and determination to make the most of life in spite of significant setbacks.

“When that violin reappeared, it felt like part of the family had been returned to us, that in some way my sisters and I had our father and our mother back. I could see the whole arc of Roman Totenberg, an incredible human being who lived for more than a century.”

Totenberg reflects on how her father’s violin was recovered years after being stolen by another musician. This passage emphasizes Totenberg’s close relationship with her parents and the emotional experience of being reunited with his treasured instrument, providing the reader with another glimpse into the author’s family life.

“As close as Ruth and I were, and as often as we were together in professional and social contexts, there was a distinct limit to our private time together […]. It had taken me years to recognize the type of friendship we could have; it took until Marty’s illness for me to fully appreciate that she might need me, really need me, as a friend. And it took a pandemic for me to truly understand what our friendship meant, to both of us.”

Totenberg reflects on how the pandemic provided more opportunities to spend time with Ginsburg privately, which deepened their friendship. This quotation reveals that Totenberg was not accustomed to seeing Ginsburg, an independent and reserved person, as someone who may “need” her, but over time, she realized that Ginsburg did rely on her emotional support.

“No matter how weak she might feel, she never came to dinner looking frumpy. Never […]. Typically she would wear long flowing trousers, some sort of jacket or more often an elegant blouse or sweater with a large, warm shawl, and jewelry that ranged in style between Santa Fe and New York. Ruth was hardwired not to be one of those ‘I don’t care what I look like and how I present myself’ people.”

Totenberg’s flattering description of Ginsburg helps the reader imagine the Supreme Court Justice in her later years, and shows how, even when she was in poor health, her personality and style shone through. This passage adds color and detail to Totenberg’s account of Ginsburg’s later years.

“Ruth really never entirely let her guard down. Even when Marty died, she was more stoic than I was, and probably more stoic than her kids were. She was always controlled.”

This quotation presents Ginsburg as a stoic and reserved individual. In this way, she differed from Totenberg, who was more demonstrative. This passage helps the reader make connections about Ginsburg’s childhood and formative experiences and her more guarded personality.