63 pages • 2-hour read
Don't Let Him In
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Themes
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of mental illness and death.
The Insidious Nature of Psychological Manipulation
The process by which one person can get into another’s head and use their psychology to manipulate and control them is a main focus of Don’t Let Him In. The story’s central conflict develops because Nick Radcliffe, an expert at psychological manipulation, has turned his attention to Nina Swann. Nick brags that he has “developed the unique ability to understand within a second exactly what sort of man a woman is looking for and offer it to her” (134). It is this ability that he intends to use to defraud the wealthy Nina of her restaurant empire, and the ensuing narrative details his methods to explore the subtle and nuanced nature of his manipulations.
Nick’s manipulative abilities are on full display in the novel, which details his past conquests alongside his current efforts. He is inwardly arrogant about his powers, and his boasting is not empty: His former wife Laura’s landlady, Petula, describes his power over Laura, marveling that she was “a clever woman. Funny. Confident” and yet Nick “somehow managed to persuade her that he had her best interests at heart when he truly did not” (217). Using techniques like “[g]aslighting. Word-salad-ing. [And] [l]ove-bombing” (217), he completely controlled Laura. Petula compares his abilities to “black magic,” and Laura herself later explains, “It was like he had a sixth sense about me. Knew exactly what I wanted” (252). Nick’s abilities are so advanced that even after he devastates the lives of women like Laura, they often remain in love with him—or, more accurately, with the persona he has managed to create for them.
Nick is shown using these techniques against woman after woman in the narrative. He exploits their natural desire for the companionship of someone who can truly understand them by transforming his personality into a reflection of each woman’s worldview and interests. He takes advantage of their longing for external validation with flattery and a steady stream of gifts. He offers sob stories and pretended insecurities that tap into his targets’ sympathetic and generous natures. As he begins to drain them of their resources, he gradually pushes their boundaries, always calibrating his moves precisely to expand what they will tolerate without pushing so far that they will leave the relationship. If they ever question him or indicate dissatisfaction, he is an expert at using tricks of language—lies, gaslighting, false logic, and emotional blackmail, among others—to counter their concerns.
Each woman is successful and independent when Nick first approaches her—most run businesses, own their own homes, and have a supportive circle of friends and family. By showing that a con artist like Nick can invade and destroy the lives of such capable women, the narrative makes the point that Nick’s targets aren’t weak. Psychological manipulation can be deployed against anyone because it focuses on the needs of the target and meets them, while simultaneously and subtly undermining the foundations of their self-esteem and support network.
The Importance of Women Helping Other Women
In Don’t Let Me In, the con artist preying on the novel’s female characters is stopped by an alliance of women working together, suggesting that there is real strength in communities of women. These women not only cooperate to expose Nick’s predatory behavior but they also offer one another crucial emotional support that allows them to regain the strength they feel they have lost after being victimized.
The development of Ash and Jane’s relationship is a prominent example of the novel’s exploration of this theme. Although Ash does not initially know it, she is one of Nick’s victims—he has manipulated her into stalking her boss, Ritchie Lloyd. As a result, she has been diagnosed with a mental health condition and no longer trusts her own judgment. She worries that her goals—“the career and the dog and the flat and the whole deal”—are no longer realistic for her (57). However, her meeting with Jane is a turning point. Jane has always been portrayed by her parents as the kind of unstable, attention-seeking woman that Ash fears she herself has become, but when she meets Jane, she realizes that Jane is a lovely, clever, and generous person. She has dogs, a good career, and strong relationships in her life—meaning that Ash can have these things, too. Jane immediately offers Ash her complete support: “I will help you in any way I can. I see you, Ash. OK? I see you,” Jane says (145). This is especially crucial for Ash because of the distance that has developed between her and Nina.
Similarly, other pairs of women offer one another critical support throughout the story. Grace helps Martha when Nala is sick, advises her to plant the tracker in her husband’s car, and helps her decide what to do when she discovers his embezzlement from her business. She is a wise and steady friend whose support keeps Martha strong in difficult times. Emma tries desperately to save her mother, Tara, from Nick’s scheming, and their relationship is so strong that she very nearly succeeds. Nick despises Emma because he knows that her intervention has kept him from completely taking over Tara’s finances. Emma’s loyal and determined pursuit of the truth after her mother’s disappearance also becomes a key source of information for Ash later in the narrative, expanding the circle of support.
As the novel continues, these separate narrative threads weave together, and with them, the various women Nick has hurt draw closer together as well. Jane is the first link in the chain of women who will eventually provide the evidence Ash needs to bring Nick down. Gradually, she becomes connected with Emma, Martha, Laura, and many other women. Each provides key information and helps Ash connect with more women. Together, they even create a Facebook page where they can share information and extend their connections to more women who have been victimized by Nick. The assembled group of women on Bangate beach is a result of both Ash’s efforts and the efforts of women like Jane and Emma—and it is their collective strength that finally overpowers Nick’s callous scheming. With her development of a strong network of women in the novel, Jewell highlights both the support and strength that communities of women offer each other, and the powerful action they are capable of as a result.
The Universality of Vulnerability to Scams
Don’t Let Him In warns that anyone—no matter how strong, capable, or clever—can be taken in by a scam artist. Although Nick has scores of victims by the time the story opens, the narrative mainly focuses on Nina, Martha, Laura, Amanda, and Tara. What all these women have in common is their competence—none seems obviously vulnerable to the scheming of a con artist like Nick, highlighting the novel’s message that those who are targeted by con artists are not responsible for what has happened to them.
Before meeting Nick, each woman has built a successful life. Nina, for example, runs several restaurants. She has two grown children, owns her home, and is, in Nick’s words, an “utterly charming” woman who impresses him with her emotional intelligence and strength. Martha, when Nick enters her life, owns her own florist business. She also owns her own home, has “an active social life” (39), and is raising her two boys on her own. Laura runs her own proofreading business, Amanda is a well-known interior designer, and both are well-liked women, known for being intelligent, creative, and capable. Tara, who has raised her children to adulthood on her own, is a successful woman who owns a nice home and has a substantial amount of money in the bank.
Despite their strengths, each of these women falls victim to Nick’s scheming. Tara gives Nick complete access to her bank accounts and “absolutely every last aspect of her existence” (38). She gives him thousands of pounds for fictitious investments that she believes are for their mutual future. Amanda gives Nick so much money that she ends up losing her interior design business and her home, yet she later takes him back after learning that he faked his own death. She again begins funding his schemes, believing that she is offering him money for life-saving medical treatment, and eventually, she becomes an accessory to Tara’s murder. Laura and Martha also lose money to Nick, believing his constant lies about investments, bills for his mother’s medical care, and so on. Although Nina does not lose money to Nick, she takes his side against her own daughter several times, refusing to believe the evidence of his lies that Ash provides her. This puts further strain on their relationship during a difficult time for their family—something that, were Nick not in the picture, Nina would never countenance.
The portraits of these women are further developed and supported through the novel’s structure. Flashbacks and Nick’s occasional first-person narration juxtapose the initial portrait of each woman with Nick’s commentary about how he manipulates her and eventually makes her into another of his victims. The repetitiveness of the pattern comments on the universality of the women’s experiences with Nick and highlights his determined pursuit. With its numerous examples of his methods and Nick’s first-person insight into them, the novel underscores the depth of Nick’s manipulations and how anyone could be vulnerable to them.
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